Feminist calls for men's rights on International Women's Day

[John Dias]

This self-described feminist gets some of her facts wrong on DV (men commit "90 percent of domestic abuse in North America"), but hey, at least she says that a true feminist must (italicized must!) not only support men's rights, but also "lobby" for them.  I'll take it!

Feminism: we've come a long way ... but we're not even close to there yet
By Kyra Hoggan
http://castlegarsource.com/node/4939
March 8, 2010

It's International Women's Day – a day I usually use to applaud the progress and accomplishments of my gender.

How cool that few would dare, any longer, refer to us as the “weaker sex” (at least not in our hearing), and that no one bats an eye when a woman's title is Dr. rather than Mrs. How wonderful to see women in Parliament and the Legislature (although look at the ratios – we're not there yet, ladies).

I love that I'm no longer expected to burn my bra in solidarity (bras are expensive and, as my colleague so aptly noted, we women need all the support we can get).

But in the face of all this happy self-congratulation, I'd like to suggest there's more yet to be done than merely patting each other on the backs.

Every year I say this – and every year I take heat for it.

A true feminist must lobby for men's rights.

Feminism is not about female supremacy – it's about equality. Seeking dominion over men is, therefore, the very antithesis of feminism.

Feminism is so often grossly misinterpreted. I don't hate men, in fact, I kinda like them (well ... most of them, anyway). I have no desire to dress or act like a man – mustache notwithstanding – and I don't think any of that has anything to do with feminism.

It's not about hating men or rejecting our differences – I like our differences, and I choose to shave my armpits regardless the political statement others feel that makes (although I will say, I wish men did likewise).

The operative word there, for anyone who missed it, was “choose”. Feminism is all about getting to choose; defining ourselves; not being locked into antiquated gender stereotypes that ultimately subjugate men and women alike.

I'm still going to wear nylons and high heels – that's my choice - but I want equal pay for equal work; equal access to all elements of our society; and equal opportunity.

None of that can happen, ladies – none of it – if we don't ensure men are equal. For you to be equal, so, too must they – look it up in the dictionary, if you doubt me.

So let's look at some of the inequities.

Men are statistically far more violent than women (90 per cent of all physical domestic abuse in North America is perpetrated by men), but they have nowhere near as much access to mental health services as women. Often, the only time men can receive publicly-funded mental health services like anger management training is a) in prison after committing a violent crime; b) after a psychotic break with full hospitalization, or; c) to address a substance addiction.

Go back to that domestic abuse statistic and ask yourself who we're hurting when men aren't given equal access to social safety nets.

Of course, even then, that's only if he drums up the courage to seek help in the face of grotesque stigma associated with so doing...another way in which our brothers are subjugated.

And how about parenting? We want men to see themselves as equal partners in parenting; sharing the responsibility and workload and, we hope, closeness and joy in the relationship ... but only if we're still married.

Look at the court statistics – when a relationship fails, men simply aren't considered equal stakeholders in caring for offspring. Well, they are financially ... but that's just money. When it comes to custody, time spent, decision-making – all the things the feminist movement claims to want from modern fathers – they take a dramatic backseat to their female co-parents. The numbers are clear ...women get more of the custody, more of the time. Period.

How is that equality?

And does it not foster, in fact forward, the antiquated, sexist notion that women are solely responsible for their children's emotional well-being (not to mention day-to-day care, from diaper changing to meal preparation to bathing and bedtime), while men's only responsibility is fiscal?

How does that do anything but violate a feminist persective?

And let's take a moment to note that I'm only referring to Western society here – woman are still stoned to death for promiscuity in other countries (while their male counterparts go unpunished). They're still the legal possessions of their fathers and husbands; still subjected to female genital mutilation; honour killings; being burnt alive over dowry issues.

How can we congratulate ourselves on our “equality” when the majority of the world still treats us like we're sub-human? How can we trust we'll keep that equality when more than half of the world would willingly – nay, gleefully – take it away?

The day our rights are safe is the day all women, the world over, enjoy the same rights – so what are we doing to make that happen? Negotiating with the Taliban sure doesn't seem, to me, to be a step in the right direction there – but how many women spoke out against that?

C'mon – do we mean it, or don't we?

Feminism can't just be about your rights, or my rights.

To be a true feminist; to genuinely entrench the values the feminist movement encompasses; we must begin earnestly fighting for the rights of all those around us - men, women of other nationalities, children, everyone - as well.

I don't want to spend today celebrating women – I actually think the concept is a tad patronizing – I want to spend it celebrating equality...but it seems to me we need to send out a lot more invites before that party can start.

[Captain Courageous]

IMHO, this is a godsend ... a true milestone. Great find, John!

[TheManOnTheStreet]

Eh.. I see her piece as an olive branch with a viper on it...

TMOTS

[neoteny]

Eh.. I see her piece as an olive branch with a viper on it...

TMOTS

Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.

[dr e]

Eh.. I see her piece as an olive branch with a viper on it...

TMOTS

Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.

While is it good (and surprising) to see a woman saying that feminism should be about equality I noticed this little stat:

Men are statistically far more violent than women (90 per cent of all physical domestic abuse in North America is perpetrated by men),

No.  Wrong. Looks like she has been reading the feminist numbers.  Her version of equality might be a little different from ours.

I do wonder if this is getting any play on the feminist web sites?  I bet they would be pretty upset by this and I am very curious just how they would spin it. 

No, we don't want equality?     LOL

Women have it far worse than men.     LOL

What would they say? 

[Mr. X]

I do like she calls western women on not acting against groups like the Taliban. Stabbing our service men in the back like Code Pink does is not helping women. Perhaps a nice "thank you" is in order for doing in one year more than feminism has done in 50 for afghanistan. Our service men deserve a huge applause for this from the female community and what do they get? Shanked in the back.

[Captain Courageous]

Eh.. I see her piece as an olive branch with a viper on it...

TMOTS

Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.

True enough guys! Using the field of torture for a metaphor, this could be the ice cube application that follows the cigar burn. That having been written, the bottom line is more women will be open to seriously considering what this one wrote than almost anything we can write. Let's just try and correct that 90% error she made.

[Sir Jessy of Anti]

Shit, I think hell just froze over.   

It's great that some younger feminists are beginning to realize the ideology they have taken as their own is really a supremacy movement.   Since repudiating the ideology is out of the question for "true believers", they will fashion it into "their kind of feminism" as representative of what feminism is (after all, everyone needs a cause).  Clearly though, humanism is a better word than feminism if we are talking about taking an inclusive view of human affairs as she seems to be doing.  You're better off without the pejorative word (feminism) lady.

[Factory]

Hmmm, the PHMT argument disguised as support for men's rights.  I suppose it was only a matter of time...

Guys, she mentions supporting it without mentioning such basic things as Reproductive/Parental rights, and "admits" that 10%....TEN...percent, of DV MIGHT be committed by women...

And that men don't have access to "anger management" services as evidence of unavailable mental health services?  What about Suicide???

This is not 5 years ago, when we were grateful for any kind of mention.  This is not 3 years ago, when we were grudgingly admitted into "the debate" by Feminists....this is not last month (ish), when we were parodied on two of the largest comedy shows on TV...


This woman offers nothing but PHMT...that's it.  Support her, you might as well support Jeff Fecke and Ampersand.

[TheManOnTheStreet]

Eh.. I see her piece as an olive branch with a viper on it...

TMOTS

Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.

While is it good (and surprising) to see a woman saying that feminism should be about equality I noticed this little stat:

Men are statistically far more violent than women (90 per cent of all physical domestic abuse in North America is perpetrated by men),

No.  Wrong. Looks like she has been reading the feminist numbers.  Her version of equality might be a little different from ours.

I do wonder if this is getting any play on the feminist web sites?  I bet they would be pretty upset by this and I am very curious just how they would spin it. 

No, we don't want equality?     LOL

Women have it far worse than men.     LOL

What would they say? 

Exactly my point. 

TMOTS

[K9]

Let's not forget, she may be right about the 90%, IF you believe gov't stats. WE know that DV against men is under-reported and WE also know that it's rare that a woman gets charged with DV because it's a male 'power and control" thing.

Having feminists define what DV is, is a lot like allowing your competitor to set the spark plug gap on your formula 0ne.

[Captain Courageous]

You hit the nail on the head, K9. Feminits, as they are called, have almost absolute control of the vocabulary in any argument. It's their first line of attack. It's the first thing they did over forty years ago (chauvinist, sexist). Their definition of anything automatically trumps ours, including their definitions of manhood or masculinity (which change like trains in a busy subway station ... depending on the situation). A good example of this is the term "gender dysphoria" ... whatta crock!

We have to take back control of the vocabulary.