Interview with Thomas Ellis, author of 'The Rantings of a Single Male'
Over the years several men's movement 'classics' have been published. The first men's movement book I read was when I was about 16, in the early 1990s, it was called Iron John, and I remember finding it fascinating, and unlike anything I had come across before. Other men's movement books of note include 'The myth of male power' by Warren Farrell, 'Sex-Ploytation' by Matthew Fitzgerald, and 'Predatory female' by Shannon Lawrence. These books - and other like them - are generally excellent, but they are (in comparison to the vast library of feminist texts) too few and far between.
Now comes another addition to the men's movement cannon, and boy is this one the most politically incorrect and hard-hitting yet.
'The Rantings of a Single Male' by Thomas Ellis is not for the faint-hearted, but then neither is life in the 21st Century.
The book is essentially a memoir of the author's encounters with women over the last several decades, interspersed with commentary on the excesses of feminism. Its subtitled: Losing Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness... and Basically Everything'
The book is an excellent read, and every father should get their late teenaged sons to read it, to open their eyes to the oceans of female insanity that lie out there in the modern world, just waiting to drown them.
Here are some representative quotes from the book:
"If women like money being spent on them, they love money being wasted on them."
"In relationships as in sex, women always seem to be on the receiving end."
"As a general rule, women won't have sex until you've spent at least as much on them as you would on a whore."
"American women are against legalized prostitution because they know they wouldn't be able to sexually deprave men as effectively."
"Counseling is for women - prison is for men."
"The problem is, women don't love us, they love the relationship entity itself."
"Women treat animals like people, and men like beasts."
"Feminists are worried that sports give men a competitive advantage in life."
"It's getting to be that men need advanced degrees in abnormal psychology and gynecology just to have a girlfriend."
"Men don't fear commitment, men fear ambiguity."
I recently caught up with Thomas Ellis and talked to him about 'The Rantings of a Single Male'...
Darren: Hi Tom, thanks for the opportunity to interview you. I certainly found your book a most interesting and often humorous read.
Tom: Glad you enjoyed it.
Darren: What made you write the book? How long did it take?
Tom: It all started 5 ½ years ago while I was having a drink in a bar with my friend Mac. We would sit around exchanging stories about all the pathetic experiences we had with women that week. I'd often dredge up some of my more sensational examples to make him feel better. At some point he said, "dude, you ought to write that stuff down!" Within a month I had ten pages of random thoughts. From that point the book had a life of its own. After 2 ½ years I had an outline 150 pages long. Then I happened to get laid off from my job as a software engineer, which gave me time to do more research and write the actual material. I thought since I had an entire outline, I would crank out the book in a few months, but the first completed draft took 2 years. I ended up throwing out all but a few sentences I wrote in the first 6 months. I was quite painful, but it had to be done. After the first draft was finished, it took another 6 months to finish the editing, rewrites and revisions. Then another 4 or 5 months to do the layout, get it printed, and up on Amazon.
Darren: The one idea from the book that stood out for me was your notion
that while men are goal-focused, women are more obstacle-focused. Can
you briefly explain for my readers what you mean by this?
Tom: I've noticed for a long time that women often pursue activities they have no real interest in, driven by an obsession to prove something. There's always some obstacle they want to confront, the actual goal being secondary. Sometimes the obstacle is fear, or sometimes it's a sense of inadequacy. In case you hadn't noticed, in the last 30 years, their favorite obstacle is now - us. They set us up as oppressors, then get angry and go out to do all that stuff we keep them from doing. Most women don't want to play golf - unless they're somehow spiting us oppressive men in the process.
Darren: I often think that women will act as bad as men let them get away
with. In other words: do you think feminism made women act this way,
or is it also the fault of men becoming too weak and tolerant?
Tom: Society has emphasized to women that they shouldn't put up with insults and derogatory statements of any kind. Men have received the opposite message - that denigration of our character and sexuality is great fun. Much of this comes from TV and movies. Men are so used to doing whatever will make women laugh that we've gone along with all this. I don't think the problem is that men are weak. Too tolerant - definitely. But generally, men have sunk into a coma of resignation. They're vaguely aware of all the bullshit in their lives, but assume nothing can be done about it.
Darren: How have people reacted to the book?
Tom: The response from men has been very enthusiastic. While I was still writing the material, I had several male friends poo-poo the whole idea of a man writing about feminism and relationships. But once they start reading they recognize lots of situations similar to events their own lives. They've become converts, and it's quite gratifying, especially since some of these guys haven't picked up a book in years. It makes me feel like I haven't been wasting my time. I have talked to men who are uncomfortable with what I have to say. They have no use for my blasphemies, and certainly no appreciation of satire. Especially men who have been trained to avoid anything that might upset their wives. To them, expressing their own opinions is just not worth all the maintenance.
Darren: And how about the female response?
Tom: I haven't gotten very much feedback from female readers, because they tend to read a page or two and then not speak to me for several months. But then, I don't really care what women think of it. That's part of the whole point - stop defining yourself in terms of what will gain you female approval.
Darren: So, as far as you know, no women have actually read your book yet?
Tom: Well, I know of one woman who has read the whole thing, but she's a men's rights activist I met at the Men's Rights Congress last year. I'd never met one before.
Darren: I know what you mean, they are quite rare. What was her take on it?
Tom: She thought it was too tame. She said, and I quote, "it's not nearly, you know, hard-hitting enough." I was quite taken aback.
Darren: And she was serious?
Tom: Totally serious. She thinks I'm letting feminists off too easy. And here I thought I was so unrestrained! It was a phenomenal experience to meet her.
Darren: Another subject that you cover is how modern society has become a
sort of 24/7 cheer-leader dance of celebrating and promoting women's
achievements, but it all seems a bit too desperate, a bit too fake, as
though women have a complex about the fact that they aren't as
competent in many fields as men are. Will women ever come to terms with this?
Tom: Most women will always want more credit than men for doing less. They will always want lower standards and higher recognition. And they want everyone to pretend that none of this is true. There are very few women with the ovarian fortitude to confront this and reject the absurdity of different equalities. There are also plenty of men lacking the necessary fortitude to challenge women on this. Wouldn't want to hurt their feelings now, would we?
Darren: What advice would you give to young men today?
Tom: I've been asked for advice a lot since the book came out, and it seems really strange to me. It's like asking someone for advice on flying because they've crashed the most planes. So, I guess I can advise on what not to do. Don't focus so much on meeting a woman's needs that you neglect your own. Don't sacrifice your own viewpoints just because it makes her so happy when you concede to her. Don't tolerate psychotic behavior no matter how good she is in bed. If she even mentions feminism, women's studies or male oppression, run like hell. Don't believe her when she says she can't get pregnant - always use a condom. She can get out of it, you can't. Don't let a woman, her family, or society pressure you into marriage if that's not what you want. Also, don't get married unless you're willing to accept that you will have less sex, that you will be expected to apologize for everything no matter who is at fault, and that most likely, your wife will feel unfulfilled no matter what path she chooses. That said, give them a shot. Just understand the risks you are taking.
Darren: Realistically, do you think things are going to get any better/worse in the next 5 years?
Tom: I really don't know. Change happens slowly and most men are still very complacent about their own well-being. The good thing is, I've met lots of intelligent young women from the current generation, and they don't seem to have any interest in feminism. The bad thing is, they've picked up all the anti-male taunts and from TV and movies, and it's part of their psyche. And it's getting more common for young women to experiment with lesbianism. I have a feeling that the current generation will be setting rules for their teenage daughters that sound something like, "Remember, be home by 11 o'clock, and no sex other than oral sex - and only with boys."
Darren: I'm sensing that you're not a big promoter of the lesbian lifestyle.
Tom: Well, I do consider lesbian encounters detrimental to men and women getting back together. Sure, I'm very libertarian and I believe people should be able to do what they want - but there's just something unsettling about girls having sex with each other. Unless, of course, they're both really cute and they let me watch.
Darren: Yeah, yeah, I guess I set that one up...
Tom: But seriously, things will only get better if we make them better. And that means standing up for our rights and our dignity - both in relationships and society.
Darren: Well thanks very much Tom. I wish you the best of luck with your book, which I highly recommend to my readers.
'The rantings of a single male' is available via www.amazon.com