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Topics - Matt99

I've not been on this forum since about 2006. Lots of my thoughts have changed since then, and lots have stayed the same.

I'm back because i really need some help with a project i want to do:

I want to create a short documentary that deals with male victims of domestic violence. I'm looking for men of all ages to share their own personal story that surrounds their domestic abuse. Needless to say, you can remain anonymous if you wish.

I'm looking for people willing to talk on camera with or without a hidden identity about any aspect of their experience.

There is no obligation, or pressure to talk about any abuse you may have suffered. I do not wish people to talk about anything that makes them uncomfortable. I want to capture men's interaction with support networks, other peoples attitudes towards you, how you felt, and your path to recovery.

I'm not a professional documentary maker. I'm an English lit student based in Sheffield in the UK who cares about putting men's issues forward. Filing will probably be done on a hand-held camcorder and be extremely informal.

I would love to hear from anyone who has a story relating to any aspect of their experience of domestic abuse.

I am based in Sheffield in the UK, and also in Chatham (Kent) in the UK. My funds are rather limited for traveling, so i would especially love to hear from people based in Yorkshire, or Kent, or London.

If you are interested, please PM me through the site.

Any help with this would be gratefully received,


Main / women only car insurance
Oct 16, 2006, 11:07 AM
ok, im really annoyed with sheilas wheels and diamond, i hate them so much i could scream.

(it dosent take an idiot to work out that men are safer drivers when you compare accidents to miles driven in a veichle instead of just counting the number of accidents per gender)

I know that they have a right to conduct a business how they want to, but in a world where masculinity is being forced outside like a lone smoker, as a human i feel excluded and left out when companies start making clubs that exclude me on an entirely genetic level.

so on that note, heres a song by a cracking band called the Amateur Transplants.

click on the top song on the preview list.

"From the boardroom
By SAIRA KHAN, Daily Mail 14:26pm 4th May 2006

Here last year's runner-up Saira Khan explains why The Apprentice finalists should use every trick in the book - including their sex...

Here's a word of advice to men on the dating scene. Forget corny chat-up lines. If you want to impress women, be prepared to talk productivity, profitability and performance.

The Old Boys network has withered on the vine, and these days the jobs are increasingly for the girls. So I'm not surprised to find the two finalists in TV's The Apprentice are female. We don't need Sir Alan Sugar to tell us that women rule the roost at home and in the workplace.

Saira Khan

Saira Khan: Women rule the boardroom

The facts are black and white - girls do better at school than boys; more women than men are getting degrees; and women are filling job vacancies far faster than men.

Small wonder, then, that according to The Economist - the bible of free market capitalism - women are becoming the most important factor in the global marketplace, not just as workers, but as consumers, entrepreneurs, managers and investors.

How have we become the Mistresses of the Universe? The simple truth is women are multi-taskers and work harder than men. This makes us far more productive and efficient.

Not only that, but women are in touch with their emotions, making us far better at people skills and therefore building the teams that are the bedrock of business success.

My mother

You don't need to be a captain of industry to see this. Take my mother as an example.

For more than ten years, she'd wake every day at 5am at our home in Long Eaton, Derbyshire, make sandwiches for four children and a husband, walk five miles to work in a factory, finish at 5.30pm, come home and cook dinner, clean, wash, iron, and go to bed at 10pm.

At weekends, she did the food shopping and caught up on the chores. Mum made all the key decisions about what we ate, wore and did.

Dad's routine, by contrast, was less hectic. He'd get up, drive to work, get back at 5.30pm, have his dinner served up, then head upstairs where he'd find his shirts ironed and the bed made. I don't think I ever saw him do the washing up.

I love my father to bits, and he certainly wasn't a chauvinist - his behaviour was typical of his generation. But even as a girl, I remember thinking: "Men have it so easy." And as I've grown up and entered the workplace, I've seen nothing to change that opinion.

Don't get me wrong. I am not a braburning feminist. I believe people should be rewarded on their merit and performance - gender should not even come into the equation.

But in reality, women know that while we may, indeed, work far harder than men, if we want to break through the glass ceiling we have to use a secret weapon: our seductive charms.

Michelle, one of the finalists in The Apprentice, is a great example of that. She charmed her way into the final by seducing three men in a shamelessly girly way, wrapping her core of steel in a kittenish exterior. Good on her, I say. Sometimes a girl just has to do what a girl has to do.

When I applied for The Apprentice, I took off my engagement ring and didn't mention I was planning a wedding. I wanted to be judged on my ability, not my personal life.

I didn't want Sir Alan to think: "Well, what's the point of giving her the job...she's 34, she's getting married and she'll want babies. She'll be a bad investment." No amount of sexual equality legislation will shift those preconceptions. And it's not just male bigotry. Female managers are just as bad - eyeing up potential recruits to see if their personal life will diminish their professional commitment.

Women work harder

The result? Women work harder to prove themselves. That's as true for the contestants in The Apprentice as it is in real life. And it works.

In our desperation to compete and to overcome barriers, we become the high achievers. Discrimination breeds determination. That's not to condone old-fashioned attitudes. I've never understood why assertive women are labelled aggressive, hard-nosed dragons, while tough men are called strong leaders and given a pat on the back.

And why is it that when a woman is promoted, the knee-jerk response of male colleagues is to wonder if she's sleeping with the boss?

Perhaps it's because those attitudes still prevail that increasing numbers of women are turning their backs on big business and setting up on their own as entrepreneurs.

They're not always household names (businessmen are far more interested in self-promotion) but goodness, they've worked hard for their success: women such as Christian Rucker of the White Company and Chey Garland, a former secretary who owns one of Britain's biggest call centre companies with a turnover of 28million a year.

I've thrived under a female boss. Women do things differently: they can be sacking an employee one minute and the next be putting their arm around your shoulder because your cat has died. Both situations require an intuitive understanding men simply aren't equipped with.

Many men might be feeling threatened by all this: women in the boardroom, women winning The long before Sir Alan fires himself and a woman takes his place?

Don't panic, chaps. Take a look at our figures (not those ones, you Neanderthal). Statistics have shown the more women who succeed at work, the better it will be for the economy. And surely that's good news - whatever sex you are. "

there was a comments section at the bottom of this. the two comments on  there already seemed pretty fair to me. i posted:

"frankly i am insulted and appauled that you feel as a man i don't possess an "intuitive understanding" of anything, and that you believe i am some sort of conspiring network of penises, that has somehow erected a glass ceiling against all of womankind.

More women do better in schools because the education system has undergone several changes to benefit underachieving girls in recent years, at the detrement to boys education. Its not like women are suddenly evolving and becoming smarter.

oh and thankyou for reffering to me as a "Neanderthal" this whitty comment made me laugh (I can understand humour slightly as a man), and helped me realise that your argument isn't about me being a poor useless monkey, and is actually highly rational and informed.

oh no wait..."

somehow i dont think it will be put on the site , if enough people post (with more rational opinions) im sure some will get through
Main / Who are we at SYG?
Jul 26, 2005, 05:12 PM
i think that Stand Your Grounders are a pretty super bunch of people. I think it would be great to create a page where all the members post their age, job, hobbies ect. and a picture of themselves possibly. i know this already happens on the intro page and the profile page, but it would be cool to have it all on one thread combined with pictures of the users. That way people would get an idea who they are talking to/arguing with.

what do you guys think? or am i just being silly  8)
Saw this film today. after seeing it i felt like a child who had just had his favourite toy truck smashed. i love the books, the radio series, the TV series, and i thought i should at least see the movie. IT IS DIRE! if you havent read the books do that first, don't see this first. The beautiful comic poetry and wonderment that was present in the origional has been ruined, completely. to put it simply...

characters- ruined (they even managed to screw up Marvin the Paraniod ((and now greatly more cute and marketable)) Android.

Plot- made up, lame, twaddle

Dialouge- ruined, jokes trashed, the whittiness has lost its flair and has been replaced by stumbling, clumsy, hollow lines.

the film also takes itself far too seriously and assumes that funny = random. * some of the more alert SYG users will also have noticed blatent sexism in the movie- where the female lead claimes that women are the only sex with the ability to empathise with other humans. This film has only two redeeming features- the Vogon's benefitted from the special effects, and Stephen Fry was an excellent choice to play the guide.

if you saw this and thought it was a bit lame- please, please, please read the book
everywhere in NY i saw signs saying " WE LOVE NY WOMEN"

all the staff in stores wore "I LOVE WOMEN" badges

everything was tailored towards women!
- i went along to Macy's and discovered the mens section..... after a good hour looking for it, and promptly discovered that if i wasent gay, or wanted to be then all of the clothes there would be useless and a waste of money

I SAW A VIDEO SHOWING GUYS HOW TO WEAR MAKEUP!! ( and i thought moisturiser was bad)

Main / *Time to take action*
Mar 19, 2005, 03:30 PM
Im new here, and ive been reading through the forums all day, fascinated by the range of views, and the wealth of knowledge we have on these boards. It seems to me that this is such an excellent resource from those aware enough to find this place.

Sadly, the key word here is "aware". Fact is, most of the population are ignorant to everything that isnt implicitly fed to them by tabloids, news shows, or radio. Scary numbers of people are just plain stupid, and sadly the main media outlets of the country have to move in time with these idiots to remain economically buoyant. we need to take action, and educate others.

We should be spraying what we have individually done to help things. if we all do somthing within our small communities our combined weight will really make a difference. C'mon guys, anything youve done to help the cause?- spray it here for everyone else to hear. we can make this a place that inspires others to take action.  

ill start-

today, i told a friend exactly why a certain radio add was unfair towards the male gender- he agreed.
(its not much, but its somthing)
Introductions / fed up of ignorance!
Mar 19, 2005, 11:08 AM
my name is matthew, im 17, just thought id say hi.

ive been treating feminism as my "F word" since i was about 14. im from the UK, and im worried that things will get worse before they become better. at the moment my pet hates with reagrds to misandry are
- Domestic violence
- Advertising
- Divorce courts
- The BBC and the Guardian

ive tried to raise awarness at my school by putting newspaper stories onto walls that deal with blatant misandry. so far the reception has been fairly good.

ive also observed intelligent questionings from a minority of male pupils such as "why is there a word for woman hating and not man hating?"

it seems that this next generation is more aware as to what counts as real equality. but, i do come from an all boys school.

(if you read my other post, im collecting data to e-mail to a guy collecting data on DV, any help would be appreciated)
i recently e-mailed a guy who has a self defense site, there was a section on DV against women but none with regards to men. i e-mailed him and told him that DV against men is a very real issue, and gave him the rough statistics.

the good news is that he agreed with me. he said if i supplied proper figures about domestic violence without the feminist bias he would put them online and write a section on it. this guy is on our side :)

im chuffed. but the only problem is that now of all times im having trouble finding good solid data about it. i know some was published a while back but i cant find where from...

he asked for "Bureau of Justice Statistics, and Uniform Crime Report cites for those number" specifically

please please please can someone help.  im having no luck :s