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Topics - zarby

Main / Big picture
May 22, 2007, 06:11 AM

Why does the government almost always take the side of women and act with hostility towards men?

I think the reason is that women are allowed to act politically as a group and men aren't.

This could be resolved in one of two ways. 1) men start acting politically as a group, and 2) women
stop acting politically as a group.

The first method is not likely to work because it is politically incorrect and men by their nature generally
don't organize and work well to oppose women's issues. Also, the first method is divisive and
contrary to fundamental principles likely equality of treatment under the law.

Perhaps, the better strategy is to attack women who promote the gender wars rather than escalating the gender wars.
Look, the government should treat all people the same, etc. not men are entitled to rights also -- a different approach.

This puts us in the same line of thought as the civil rights movements for blacks and hispanics and gays, etc.

Those groups have pretty much not sought superior treatment under the law just equal treatment (I know there are
exceptions and there is some degree of preference but pretty minimal I think now).

Perhaps, the better solutation is to attack women's politics rather t

Main / Attitude of the modern wife
May 17, 2007, 03:39 PM

Q.     I want to hear what happened between you and your daughter.
A.      I don't want to talk about it ....

Q.     Well, I think it is important. From what I have heard, it is extremely important evidence.
A.      I have only one daughter. I will not testify about her.

Q.      Well, you have only one husband, also. This could be the difference between him going to prison or not.
A.       I can get another husband. I cannot get another daughter.


I was completely flabbergasted. This exchange occurred in front of her husband. He just sat there.

I felt like throwing up.

He is an older gentleman. He has supported this woman and children and grandchildren for 40 years. 
He is rock solid according to his employer who he has worked for 40 plus years.

His wife essentially said right there in front of him that she doesn't give a shit about him.
She can always get a new husband.

Think about this next time you feel the urge to "commit" to an American Woman.
This is no radical feminist 20 year old woman. This is a roughly 60 year old woman.

I guess you can give her a little credit -- at least she is honest about how she feels.

Main / Geographical differences
May 17, 2007, 04:31 AM

I have probably a dozen times over the last several years had guys tell me that women are much better in various places other than here.

They are friendlier. They are better looking. They weigh less.

I don't do a whole lot of traveling lately and I am not particularly perceptive to these things when I do travel.

I was just curious whether people believe there are true geographical differences or whether this is the "grass is grenner on the other side of the fence" syndrome.
Main / Bravo. Bravo. Bravo.
May 04, 2007, 09:38 AM
Woman indicted in alleged scheme to get child support (9:47 a.m.)
By The Associated Press
Article Launched: 05/02/2007 09:49:59 AM MDT

ALBUQUERQUE -- A grand jury has indicted a woman accused of pretending she'd had a child and bilking her former husband out of more than $26,000.

The Bernalillo County grand jury last week indicted Viola Trevino, 54, on 24 counts, including kidnapping, perjury, conspiracy to commit fraud and conspiracy to commit forgery.

Trevino and Steve Barreras divorced in August 1999. The divorce papers make no mention of a pregnancy or minor children.

However, in December 1999, Trevino sued for child support, saying she gave birth to Barreras' child that September.

The elaborate scheme to get child support included false DNA evidence, a forged Social Security number and forged birth and baptismal certificates, authorities have said.

They say it came apart in December 2004, when a judge ordered her to bring the child to court.

According to court records, Trevino picked up a 2-year-old and her grandmother from a city street, promising them lunch, $50 and a visit to Santa Claus. Trevino then took the child to court, alleging she was her daughter.

However, state District Judge Linda Vanzi ruled Trevino had fabricated the baby she claimed Barreras fathered.

Trevino had a tubal ligation in 1978 and Barreras had

The system finally did the right thing on this case.

How many years did it take, though?

It moved only reluctantly but at least it finally moved.

This was a massive fraud and I think a severe sentence is due.

Her real crime though from the State's perspective is not that she defrauded a man.

Her real crime is that she got caught and she severely embarrassed the system.
Main / Relative risks
May 04, 2007, 09:13 AM

My oldest son wants to bungy jump off the Royal Gorge Bridge this fall (well over 1,000 feet high).

Q.  Are you sure you really want to do this?

A.  Yes. Absolutely.

I realize that if he does it I will need to do it also.

I quickly resolve that I will do it.

I have jumped out of airplanes before -- I can do this.

I tell him "if you do this, I will also."

This gets me thinking about mortality and risks and what not.

The most startling revelation as I analyze my thoughts is that
I consider this much less risky than entering a relationship with
a woman. Further, if something goes wrong, the end will
be quicker and less painful. It is a darn fine idea.
Main / Advice?
May 02, 2007, 07:02 AM

So, my oldest boy turns 16 in roughly 2 months.

I have talked to him about buying him a car.

He essentially acts like I am incompentent and will probably buy him a crappy car.

Most recently, I call him and tell him a friend found a really cool car. It has a sun roof, leather seats, etc. It is a really cool car -- looks brand new. It is a Nissan Sentra.

He acts real skeptical still assuming that it must be a piece of crap. He says kind of sarcasticallythat "I'll look at it" (like he is doing me a favor by looking at it).

He then says: "I'll get [mom's new boyfriend] to look at it -- he's a mechanic."

That hits me hard. I didn't like it, at all.

It might make sense -- I understand he is a mechanic but still I didn't like it at all.

It is like -- you're incompetent to pick out a good car -- I get mom's boyfriend to check it out.

I also remembered how his mom was so critical of me near the end -- how I couldn't do anything right. I could just hear her telling him or warning him about how I would buy a crappy car and he better have her boyfriend check it out.

I heard no appreciation in his voice just criticism (even though he has never seen the car).  I heard no excitement.

This was suppose to be something good -- father doing something cool for his son. Instead, I end up feeling like shit.

My friend was going to drive the car over to my son's house the next day. I called him and told him "don't bother."

I feel like saying the hell to the whole thing. Why buy him a car at all if there is going to be no appreciation just criticism, insults, etc.

Besides, I cannot win. If the car breaks or something, then it will be established as true that I bought him a crappy car.

You, actually, He should be thrilled to get even a crappy car.

I didn't get my first car that was truly mine until I was several years older (I had access to an old car but it wasn't "mine").

I know if I don't buy him a car he will be pissed and that certainly won't help things.

Anybody have any advice?
Main / Fearful women?
May 02, 2007, 04:47 AM

Just a few minutes ago, I stopped at a convenience store.

I had just come to a stop when the passenger door opens and to my shock and a woman gets in and sits down.

She hands me a money order and tells me the convenience store will not cash it.

I didn't know what to say so I kind of mumbled.

Something didn't seem right, of course, I started to feel afraid.

She asked if I would give her a ride to some place to cash money order.

It was 6:30 a.m. and I didn't have a clue where she would want to go to cash a money order at this hour.

I mainly just wanted her out of the car. I felt even more afraid.

I told her "no." She did not seem happy with my answer.

She asked if I "wanted a date."

I said "no" and this time much louder.

She got out and walked off.

I wondered whether she was in fact a hooker?

It didn't seem like the right circumstances. It wasn't the right time of day either.

I wondered whether she was an undercover cop.

Again, it didn't seem like  the right circumstances or the right time of day.

I stopped thinking about that and then started thinking about supposed violence against women.

This woman weighed half or so what I weigh. She was not even the slightest afraid of getting
in my car without permission and closing the door behind her.

I know for a fact I wouldn't do what she did whether the driver of the car was a man or a woman
(I especially would do it if the driver was a woman -- I would fear all kinds of criminal charges,
actually I would fear the woman taking a weapon from her purse and shooting me,
spraying me, shocking me, etc. or worse of all 911ing me).

I ask you -- who is afraid of who?

I just don't see any evidence and never have that women have the slightest fear of men.

I just don't think violence against women happens that often.

Actually, I think women are essentially immune from violence and when it happens it is news
for the very reason that it happens so rarely.


She runs a chinese restauarant.

I am joking with her. I ask for a discount. She says she should charge extra "because you make lots of money."

I respond, "my ex wife gets most of what I make."

She kids a little more stating "Yeah, she deserves every penny and more."

She then gets serious.

She says: "these [american women] don't want to cook, they don't want to stay married for life, we want our son to be married for life. We want him to find a good girl. We send him back to Taiwan to find a good girl."

See, we aren't the only ones who feel this way.  Actually, even women feel this way, when it comes to their sons (and grandchildren).
Corpus Christi Police Chief Bryan Smith charged with rape.

He says the accusation is false, malicious, etc.

He gives a press conference with his new fiance present.

He proposed to her at the local professional baseball game within the last few weeks.

When I heard he proposed, I said "he is in trouble."

I was right for a reason different than I though.

He says the accusation is retalatory for his engagement to a different woman.

He says all relationship was consensual.

He has taken a leave of absence.

edited by dr e to shorten link
Main / Expenses to prevent DV
Apr 23, 2007, 11:25 AM

So, I am working my way through the new bankruptcy forms.

You have to lookup what is allowable for living expenses, transportation expenses, etc.

But, there is an open ended blank for "expenses to prevent DV."

What the hell is that?

An alarm system?

Attorney fees for a protective order?

A gun and shooting lessons?

A body guard?

I am not sure.

My have for sometimes been amazed how thoroughly the feminists have shaped the law.

You find their droppings almost every where you look.
Main / Grand Abstraction
Apr 23, 2007, 06:21 AM

I think it is probably true that most divorces occur because of constant nagging by the wife and frustration by the man.
No matter what he does, it is not good enough or right, etc.
This can apply to finances or his behavior on valentine's day or his TV watching habits or any number of things.

Those observations are at the level of individual couples.

I think the same thing may be happening at a more abstract societal level.

Men have done a lot of women. They have actuallyl created a pretty darn thifty world with all kinds of comforts and entertainment and protections and what not. But, no matter how good the world get, women are never satisfied.

This is at an ugly level. It is one thing to always strive for better. It is another thing to attack what exists and those who provide it.  Men are attacked at nearly every level. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Nag. Nag. Nag.

Just as as a husband can never win no matter how much money he buys or how many flowers he buys or how many times he uses the word "love," society can never win once this starts. Nag. Nag. Nag. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. It will just never stop.

Just as this pattern of behavior inevitably leads to divorce, at the more abstract societal level, it will inevitably lead to demise of the society and particularly the relationship between the sexes.
Main / A truly great man.
Apr 17, 2007, 11:01 PM

I am typically not this way, but I truly got choked up about the 76 year old professor blocking the door while his students jumped out the windows. This was a truly great man. I would like to think I would do the same although I know I might not. I might be heading towards the windows or hiding under my desk.

I think it is a crime to prevent a man from defending himself (and others). This professor should have had the right to be armed. I am not sure whether he confronted this gunman near the beginning or end of the rampage but this man certainly would have had the courage to put a gun to good use and save a lot of lives (including his own). Why must we take away the right of men like these to defend themselves?

Citizens are generally good. Our safety is with men like these (and ourselves) not with police who will arrive after it is too late.

I believe the same thing about airplanes, airports, churches, schools, etc.  A rational gunman will think twice about shooting people if he knows some of them are armed. An irrational gunman will be shot sooner if the public is armed.

I am sorry about my language, but as far as I am concerned the gun control crowd is at a minimum misguided and possibly even malicious. I think about what happened in Australia (I have heard) after guns were banned (families in remote places were killed in large numbers -- the police were nowhere near to defend these families when killers robbed them knowing they were defenseless).

A friend just the other day told me his elderly parents who were being institutionalized due to their infirmities had guns in their house including some characterized as "assault weapons." He asked if I wanted one. I said hell no. I know of many who have been harassed by police including arrested for the mere act of possessing a gun. I don't want trouble. After hearing this story, I think it is almost the duty of a law abiding citizen to have a gun. This is what they believe in Switzerland, and the last I heard Switzerland is a pretty darn safe place. Even Hitler didn't cause trouble with them.
Main / Sexual Harassment?
Apr 17, 2007, 10:16 PM

I have this woman calling me sometimes several times in an hour.
This happens several times in a day.

She is complaining to a mutual friend that I won't answer her calls.

She is the same woman who told her ex husband I had sex with her when I didn't.

She is the same woman who repeatedly asked if she could come over to my side
of the desk, if she could kiss me, if I wouldn't come over to her house, if I was in
the mood to take a nap and "cuddle," etc.

etc. etc.

She even has involved children in this. A 12 year old child of a mutual friend
asked me "why don't you like ______?"

It is not like I think this behavior is a crime or like it is ruining my life or anything.
I can deal with it although I am keeping plenty of distance but it is interesting
to realize how little sympathy I would receive if I complained about this to
anyone yet how totally condemned I would be if acted this way myself.
Main / Might as well shoot himself
Apr 17, 2007, 03:51 AM

The guy is complaining. I was in jail for a year before she gave birth. It couldn't be mine.

Well, there is a judgment? Yes. The judgment is over ten years old? Yes. There is probably nothing you can do.
They have passed some paternity fraud statutes in other states -- I don't think they have in this state.
If there is a final judgment, you are probably out of luck particularly one that old.

I have three child support orders against. I  have another woman who I am paying child support to informally.
I have two children with the woman I am with now and a third one on the way.

I am behind on my child support (big surprise). They are threatening to take my license.
What should I do?

Now, I don't know hardly anything about the Virginia Tech guy, but would it be any surprise if
a guy in this situation "loses it?"

You say -- he is an idiot -- he deserves it?

Well, is he reeally? He has just been through a series of women over the course of years.

Would we say a woman with children from several different men is irresponsible and put
her in an impossible position? No, we help her with food stamps, welfare, etc.

I am just suggesting that putting people even people who have made some poor
choices in an impossible situation is not a socially healthy thing.

Yes, they should suffer consequences for their actions, but putting them in a totally
impossible situation? This guy has almost no hope. He will be at risk of jail
for every day for the next two decades (he has a child on the way).

Main / MSNBC Story
Apr 16, 2007, 08:50 AM

I received a story from MSNBC on the RSS Feed within the last few hours.

I don't have the exact numbers in front of me.

Essentially, it states that fewer people are cheating than you might think.
It says the numbers are something 18% for women and 38% for men.

In other words, men cheat twice as much as women?

I don't think so?
I think women are cheating as much or probably more than men right now.
I based this on my personal observations and experience.

Besides, nearly a third of babies tested are not the biological child of the purported dad.
This probably means the rate of cheating for women is far more than 18%.
Main / Reward
Apr 13, 2007, 03:06 AM

I pushed through visitation orders concerning a child who had not seen his father in 2 years (a 6 year old).

I represented the mother and had to exert some gentle arm twisting to get this done (her brother helped me).

She was against it yet had no real sold reasons for her objections.

Arguably, I was not serving her interests as she saw them but I think I served her greater interests and certainly that of the child.

The father and child had not seen in each other in roughly 2 years.

The mom had moved roughly 2,000 miles away from the marital home and away from the father.

The father was in town for a court hearing, and a deal was struck, with my strong input.

I met the child last night.

I engaged him in some conversation.

Q. So, what do you like to do?
A. I like to spend the night with my dad.

Q. I think that will happen soon.
A. It will happen.

Q. When?
A. This summer.


Q. Do you want a candy (handing over a box full of candy)?
A. Yes.

Q. Where did you get this?
A. My dad gave it to me for Easter (the previous day -- late).


Q. Do you want to see my ______ (it was some kind of sea creature, a crab or something)
A. Yes.

Q. Where did you get this?
A. My dad took me to the beach yesterday.

If I am ever asked whether I did anything good in my life, I can honestly say I did at least one thing good.
Main / Protective Order -- 15 Year Olds
Apr 12, 2007, 07:54 PM

15 year old son asks: Is it possible to have a protective order against a 15 year old?

Answer: I am not sure. Haven't really thought about it. Probably. Never seen one. Why?

Response: Well, this girl in my class is telling everyone she has a protective order against this guy in my class.


Jesus Christ. I am just trying to imagine such a thing.

This girl has a protective order by age 15. I bet she has a dozen by age 30.
Main / Feel terrible after a good visit
Apr 10, 2007, 05:49 AM

Spent several days with one of the children.

It was really good but I feel really bad now.

I think it just emphasizes what has been and is being missed.

I am not sure at all that from an overall personal perspective these things help one's disposition no matter how successufl.
Main / Gender confusion
Nov 30, 2006, 03:19 AM
By Randy Dotinga| Also by this reporter
02:00 AM Nov, 29, 2006

Creating a new outpost in the battle for transgender rights, both New York City and Spain are expected to soon allow people to officially change their gender without actually undergoing a sex-change operation.

Transgender people are fighting on many other fronts, pushing for free access to public restrooms and insurance coverage for gender-reassignment operations. But the proposed liberalization of sex-change rules brings the movement into uncharted territory.

If people can switch genders in the eyes of the government with only some documentation from a doctor, will fewer feel the need for surgery? And what about military service, marriage and the supposed threat of cross-dressing peeping toms?

The answers to some of the questions are unknown. But to one activist, one thing is clear: The United States is developing "a much more accurate representation of how people actually change sex."

"For a lot of folks, surgery is not a part of their transition, because they have health problems that make it unfeasible or financial issues, or it's just not how they understand themselves to be," said Christopher Daley, director of the San Francisco-based Transgender Law Center, which focuses on California. "They don't need surgery to feel complete as a man or woman."

New York City appears to be on the forefront when it comes to transgender rights. Last month, the agency that runs the subway system agreed to allow transgender people to use the restrooms of their choice. Now comes news that the city will probably allow people born there to switch the gender on their birth certificates.

According to a proposal that's expected to be approved next month, the city will allow the changes if a person brings documentation from a doctor and meets some other criteria. No surgery is necessary.

Meanwhile, the lower house of Spain's parliament has reportedly approved a bill that would allow people to officially change their sex without surgery, although many would be required to have undergone some kind of medical treatment. (Spain also allows same-sex marriage.)

Currently, New York City will revise birth certificates for anyone who provides evidence of a sex-change operation -- but the city will only remove the gender from the document. It will not switch the gender from male to female or female to male.

Essentially, the city currently declares transgender people to be "genderless," said Gabriel Arkles, a staff attorney with Sylvia Rivera Law Project, which has pushed for the proposed regulations for years.

The rest of the United States has a hodgepodge of policies regarding the official recognition of sex changes. According to a compilation of U.S. and Canadian laws, three states -- Idaho, Ohio and Tennessee -- don't allow gender changes on a birth certificate, surgery or no surgery. Almost all the other states and all Canadian provinces require proof of a sex-change operation; Iowa recently allowed official gender changes without surgery.

As for other forms of identification, Dr. Becky Allison, a transgender cardiologist who compiled the list of laws, said passport officials allow gender changes without requiring surgery, as do most state departments of motor vehicles.

The proposed New York City regulations raise plenty of issues.

Will the regulations allow same-sex marriage? Some state laws are murky regarding marriage involving one or two transgender people; one legal analyst reports that a pair of men were able to marry in Ohio because the state refused to recognize that one of them was no longer a woman following a sex-change operation.

On the other hand, some transgender people may be unable to marry because their states recognize their new sex but don't allow same-sex marriages.

Either way, the proposed New York City regulations won't change state laws.

Will fewer people undergo sex-change operations because they don't need to? That's unclear. But financial hardships prevent many transgender people from going under the knife.

Male-to-female surgeries, the most common, can cost $37,000 or more, according to one estimate, while the rarer female-to-male surgeries run closer to $77,000. (One surgeon lists prices for both kinds of procedures.) In addition, surgeons require patients to have undergone therapy and to have lived as the opposite gender.

Guidelines should prevent sex offenders from using the new regulations to gain access to the restrooms of another gender, Allison said.

"Confirmation from a therapist of the person's mental status and intention to live 24/7 in the desired gender should screen out these people," she said. "Sadly, if a true sex offender wants to do something like this, he won't let a legal document stop him."

This totally mystifies me.

But, I think this is a great opportunity. This brings to mind the slogan "if you can't beat them join them."

We ought to all simply declare ourselves to be females and start to take advantage of female entitlements and perogatives.

We apparently don't have to change anything biologically. We just have to intend to be females.

Now, female to female sex is socially acceptable. Thus, we can seek out females who are the "original" type rather than adopted females like us.

Nothing really has to change. We just become females under the law.

This is a much easier solution to our problems than changing the law.

It would be so convenient to just pick up the phone and have an unwanted lover jailed, etc.

But, what will the police do when they arrive and they find two "females?"

I know this I will be pissed if they don't afford me my due perogatives as a bona fide under the law female.
Main / Dollar at Near 15 Year Low
Nov 29, 2006, 12:51 AM
US setbacks see dollar plunge to near 15-year low
By Ambrose Evans-Pritchard
Last Updated: 2:37am GMT 29/11/2006

Your view: Will the dollar hit $2 against sterling?
The dollar tumbled to a near a 15-year low against sterling yesterday on fresh signs of economic trouble in the United States.

An 8.3pc crash in US industrial orders and an admission by the Federal Reserve chairman that Washington does not know how bad housing really is set off another day of wild gyrations on the currency markets.

The Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke said Washington did not know how bad a state the American housing market was in

US house prices fell 3.5pc to an average $221,000, the third month of declines. Stocks of unsold homes rose to 7.4 months' supply, the highest since 1993. The US consumer confidence index fell sharply to 102.9.

The "truckers index" of tonnage shipped by US haulage companies was down 1.8pc in October, a leading indicator of contraction. Merrill Lynch called the fall "borderline recessionary".

The dollar continued its slide against the euro, dropping to $1.3194 after the Federal Reserve chairman, Ben Bernanke, said the housing slump "would be a drag on economic growth into next year". Mr Bernanke said official figures did not pick up the "sharp increase" in cancellations on house deals and might understate the inventory glut.

"Any significant effect on consumer spending arising from further weakness in housing would have important implications for the economy," he said.

I think the more important exchange rate is between the dollar and asian currencies because so much of what we consume is made in asia particularly china. I don't think we consume all that much from England.

If the exchange rate between the dollar and the "RenMinBi" (apparently, this is the chinese currency -- I never heard that word before) goes through the floor we are in real, real trouble.

Frankly, I have been predicting severe economic problems for the U.S. for several decades. I have been surprised that it hasn't happened -- at least not openly. I think the tremondous efficiencies and wealth generated by the personal computer explosion of the 1980s and 1990s is a large part of the reason. The computer marketplace has stablized. Computers and even to an extent software are not mere commodities -- not huge generators of wealth -- commodities largely produced off shore.

I hate to be a doomsayer especially since I have been wrong now for several decades, but I think I will unfortunately eventually be right.

There are a lot of reasons why but one major reason is the subject matter of this forum -- family law and the destruction of the American family.