What up, tribe...this is a new 'freebie', inspired by an earlier thread:
The Losses of GAME
On my second date with a new woman, we ended up in her bed, and a great time was had by all. Through a good deal of foreplay, three different positions, and a lot of attention to her various hot-spots, I count her climaxes and guess she's had about six. Not bad for our first time; the ROCK HER WORLD trick-bag has come through again. She asks "Where the hell have you been?" Better yet, she admits to an 'oral fixation' and says "Next time I want you to c*** in my mouth..."
"We can certainly work something out." I reply, and set up our next date. She pours me another glass of champagne, with berries in it.
(Yeah, I'm bragging. Had to, sorry. But fear not, there's relevance to follow.)
Now, this has been accomplished with what the 'Pick-up Artists' would call a 'resume/interview pick-up', basically a long-winded conversation mixing questions with my various accomplishments (although the foot massage I gave her on the first date possibly upped the ante). In the PUA lexicon, this would brand me as a 'chode' who could easily be 'blown out' (or 'cock-blocked') by a more 'accomplished' PUA.
(And, as a polyamorist, I would've thought Whoop-de-f*ckin'-do, ordered another drink and contacted the next girl waiting on the web. There are several; I find myself turning down more than I contact.)
Other PUA's would dismiss me for even dating her, or not bedding her on the first date. But I make no apologies for being an 'old-school' gentleman. We actually got to know each other before having sex. Horrors!
A lot has been written on MRA blogs about the necessity of "GAME" and how important it is to MGTOW's and the Men's Movement in general..."Game" being a broad genre of mating strategies enabling men to pick up and initiate sex with women quickly and easily, eschewing traditional courtship and marriage...and indeed, the current state of marriage in Western civilization needs a major overhaul if it's to be considered even remotely worthwhile to the current generation of men.
I shan't denigrate "Game" per se, as it's helped many men meet women when they'd normally be helpless without it. The true 'masters' and inventors of 'Game' are men who definitely needed something to make up for a lack of height, musculature, looks, charisma or wealth.
But for those who say "Game" is the salvation of Men in general, I have to call bullsh*t.
"Game" gets you laid, or at least starts a relationship, when you 'run it' properly on an amenable woman.
It does nothing to reverse our march towards a police state. It does nothing to change the sexist laws (VAWA et. al.) seeking to lock men up by the thousands. It does nothing to alter the media image of men as criminals, dead-beat dads, adulterers, ad nauseum...in fact, it's giving the latest generation of men the reputation of being untrustworthy 'players' with no interest in marriage or commitment. (Although your humble servant would point out that the fates of the 'workers' who did opt for marriage and commitment weren't always of the 'Happier Ever After' variety.)
I'd even go so far to point out some actual risks and/or negative aspects of "Game":
1. A lot of "Game Theory" is predicated on becoming an "Alpha male"--not a bad thing to become in and of itself. But one such predication is Alphas never have just ONE girl...whereas governments, religions, educational institutions and most importantly the majority of women all worship at the altar of monogamy. (I'd place the percentage of women who would opt for a polyamorous or open relationship at 12% or lower.) Thus, the Alpha male is subconsciously lusted after, but consciously--and worse, publicly--condemned as a "cheater"...and there's no limit to the havoc women can wreak on a "cheater". Witness Tiger Woods' $750 million divorce pay-out, and his groveling public apology. Recall a news item where a female astronaut drove hundreds of miles in a diaper to commit mayhem in a fit of jealous rage. Consider former President Clinton, less known for his astounding economic expansion of our country then for his extramarital affair and impeachment trial. I'd wager Mr. McNair wasn't fatally shot by his girlfriend for hogging the blankets. I'll also go out on a limb and predict the number of false rape and false domestic violence charges will increase to plague more Alpha males, since in our current culture women can employ them with impunity. (Read Caveat Amator: Strategies For Men Before, During and After False Allegations in www.the-spearhead.com
before you need to.) Alpha males may have 'mad skills' in the clubs, but they might also need mad skills in courtrooms, too.
2. Bars and nightclubs love PUAs and their 'wingmen' and students as they relentlessly visit night after night: Ka-CHING go their cash registers as covers charges rise, drinks flow, and the cycle of 'sarging' and partying continues. While it might provide PUAs with plenty of 'sets' (or targets), the clubs come out ahead. Many clubs are now reserving tables only for those who opt for 'bottle service' where a thirty-dollar bottle of liquor costs ten times that. A lot of "Gamers" find themselves with a lot of numbers in their black books and few numbers in their bank accounts. "Clubs are expensive...partying is expensive." says PUA Chris Orleans (an advocate of non-club "Day Game"), and he's right. There are also the additional risks that come with partying, all of which are obvious.
3. There's a 'sub-set' of more-accomplished PUAs that enjoy "blowing out" ("C*ck-blocking") men that aren't that accomplished who are trying to get acquainted with a woman the PUA has laid eyes on. Sometimes the PUA is more interested in the 'blow-out' than the woman herself. This is dangerous. While magically bending spoons to attract women in a foreign club, "Mystery" (of VH-1's "The Pick-up Artist") was approached by an envious local man, who said "Mister magician...can you bend this? And opened his coat to reveal a handgun. Mystery brazenly claimed he could magically burst a molecule inside the man's brain, and he backed down. Still, I can imagine more than a few PUAs that are now sporting concrete socks in a riverbed somewhere for hitting on some mafioso's moll.
4. "Game" installs a bias for beauty over altruism, intelligence, kindness, loyalty, or any other desirable attribute a woman might bring to the table. Women are rated by the numbers: "When you're tired of banging fives and ready to take on the nines, buy my new book!" Every PUA chants. Ironically, some women initially thought to be "nines or tens" were Anna Nicole Smith, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, et. al. Not to denigrate them, but a lot of Gamers would have flocked to them 'back in the day' and now would avoid them like the plague, although they essentially remain the same people. This beauty bias has the additional downside of making women opt for style over substance: breast implants over college degrees, a ton of cosmetics and clothes instead of accumulating wealth. Worse, some women destroy themselves with bulimia or anorexia chasing an unreachable physical standard. (Out of his own 'Class of 207', your humble servant recalls his various "sixes" providing steak dinners and full-body massages--or the willingness to share with other women--and his various "nines" asking "What have you done for me lately"?) As I wrote in ROCK HER WORLD, we're attracted to beauty on a genetic level, but that doesn't mean we have to be enslaved by it.
5. The proponents of "Game" often reinforce the double standard of promiscuous men as 'studs' and promiscuous women as 'sluts'. "Roosh", author of Bang and the blog www.rooshv.com
said "I dated a girl who said she'd been in a gangbang with two guys...at that moment, she was dead to me." A flame-war erupted after the blog entry among the proponents of gang-bangs, those condemning any women who'd engage in one as a 'slut', 'skank', or worse, and those championing the notion that women have all the rights men have. "A key that can open many locks is a master key; a lock that can be opened by many keys is a weak lock." Was one entry. The Holy Grail of many in the PUA community (and the fantasy of most men in general) is the MFF 'threesome', which is seen as the only acceptable threesome: "A FMM threesome is two gay guys and a girl." Another post read. This writer finds it odd that any woman who has sex with a PUA after thirty minutes of "Game" isn't 'slutty', but simply affirms his "Game Mastery" (however, let her fall for the 'Mastery' of a different PUA afterwards--or just any other guy--and out come the knives).
6. Tangential to point #1, a growing number of women seduced and abandoned by PUAs are looking back in anger at their one-night stands and thus at sexual relationships in general. "No Players!" shout the majority of women's profiles on dating sites. The clash between the male need for variety and the female need for security rings out continuously. I'd wager a lot of women now have the mentality of "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" and are hyper-vigilant towards PUAs and/or are leery of sexual relationships in general. PUAs have coined the term 'bitch shield' for this; ironically, the PUAs may have created them.
7. There's a fine line--or perhaps no line at all--between continually 'nailing and bailing', and sex addiction. Your mileage may vary; with conflicting reports out there, I'm unsure if I'm a sex addict or just a hetero guy surrounded by ads using bikini models to sell every conceivable product. And as far as addictions go, better to be addicted to sex than heroin or crystal meth, I say. Still, every addiction has its price. "Mystery" was admitted to an asylum at the beginning of Neil Strauss's book The Game. Ex-porn star Shelley Lubben's ministry The Pink Cross has created a YouTube requiem of all of the porn stars that have committed suicide (perhaps only 10% of the industry in general, but still a sadly substantial amount). Whereas Dr. Andrew Weil is trying to convince the medical industry of "Disconnection Syndrome"--where people have no social connections at all...I'd wager there's such a thing as "Completion Syndrome", where, once one has tasted every possible worldly delight they can think of, the workaday world becomes too tedious for them and they bail out of it. Consider the suicide of Jon Dough, once titled "The Luckiest Man In The World" in the Hustler movie of the same name, where he had sex with 100 women in the same film. One wonders, wouldn't it be better to just change pursuits instead of committing suicide?
One final point: "Game" might actually have an expiration date. The various books and websites hawking game techniques aren't visible to men only. At the end of The Game--pardon the expression--Neil Strauss wrote that "The Mystery Method" had become his methods, which had become everyone else's methods, and he witnessed single men 'peacocking', 'negging' and 'sarging' all over Hollywood. One of his protégés, Tyler, took the methods to co-found Real Social Dynamics, now a Fortune 500 company. Real Social Dynamics is now charging hundreds or even thousands of dollars for their expertise.
It's therefore just a matter of time before the average "nine" hears an opening statement from a single man, and concludes "I'm being Gamed."
It'll be interesting to see what transpires at that cultural tipping point. Perhaps the latest "Game" rituals will have become so foolproof they'll work anyway; perhaps 'PUA paranoia' will have run so deep the "nines" will have built up perpetual 'bitch shields'.
As I wrote earlier, there's no shame in having "Game", it's better to have it than not, but too much of anything will have its downside, and it might be better to see and acknowledge the downside going in.
POINTS TO CONSIDER:
A. How much of your self-image is tied to your ability to seduce women, or rack up 'notches'? Do you feel you've 'failed' if you don't have sex with a lot of women? (If it's any help, you haven't.)
B. Is the ability--or challenge-- to "win over" a certain woman more important than the woman herself?
C. How much do you learn about the women you seduce (and let them learn about you) before your seduction's complete?
D. If a woman says she's "On the pill" or "Can't get pregnant", do you take her at her word, or practice safe sex regardless?
E. If a woman says she has a husband or boyfriend...but indicates she's considering your advances anyway...do you continue gaming her?
F. Have you ever lost a girlfriend by insisting she has a threesome with you and another woman?
G. Do you have a certain physical 'standard' women must meet before you 'Game' them?
H. After having sex with a woman, do you feel closer to her, or bored with her?
I. If you have more than one sex partner, or you practicing responsible non-monogamy (wherein they know about each other), or are you lying and/or cheating to continue the relationships?
(Note: There are no 'right or wrong' answers to these, they're only meant for you discover areas that might need attention before potential problems start.)