Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Topics - wractor

1
http://domesticviolenceresourcesformen.blogspot.com/2010/11/for-past-few-weeks-one-of-the-stars-of.html

Just found this, thought I'd pass it on...

You've got to take your hat off to Gary (Amber Portwood's baby's father). Because he took some knocks on camera, the country knows that Domestic Violence isn't all male-on-female.
2
Main / A refreshing anti-divorce blog
Nov 23, 2010, 09:36 AM
WWW.FRIVOLOUSDIVORCE.WORDPRESS.COM

Just found this on a link from the Spearhead. It's very heartfelt, although it's a shame to see the author still beating herself up after 7 years.

Check it out at your option...and/or forward the link to any women you know who are contemplating divorce.
3
Main / Open Letter to "Strong" Women
Nov 13, 2010, 02:00 PM
Posted this on a dating site (OKCupid.com) after reading the millionth profile of a "Strong/Independent/Outspoken" woman...the comments are lighting up already...


Open letter to "Strong" Women

Today - 1:57pm

It's just my two cents, but if your profile says "Strong" in it (homonyms would include "Independent", "Straightforward", "Opinionated", ad infinitum), you might want to reconsider that...or bail out of OKCupid to become a lumberjack. Women are sorely underrepresented in that field.

Nothing wrong with Strength, to be sure, or Independence, or being straightforward or opinionated. Those are all great qualities...in MEN. And those are the qualities YOU want in men, unless you're a whip-mistress (there's better hunting on Fetlife.com) or from a truly foreign culture. I've yet to read a profile that says "BOY wanted".

Not to speak for the entire gender (there's doubtlessly all kinds of 'whippin' boys' out there lookin' to get spanked), but Men in general WANT to be the Strength, and we want Women in general to be the Comfort. We'll do double-shifts in a coal mine or an ER if it means coming home to some kind words, a kiss, a sandwich and a beer, instead of a fight. If necessary, we'll kill and/or die for you, as history has shown.

And really, in your heart, isn't that what you want, too? To be treated like ladies? To be defended, and supported, and cared for? To be ROCKED LIKE A HURRICANE?

Should we have to be the Strength? I for one don't think so, but it's irrelevant. We're physically designed for heavy labor and conflict, plus there's a few millenniums of social conditioning hanging over us. And if we're not The Strength, we get dropped like a chunk of hot plutonium, end of story. Personally I love it when women 'take the wheel' now and then...when a girl told me "You're comin' home with ME tonight", I was harder than Chinese Calculus.

In the final analysis, it's up to you, nobody can change you. But if you really want to be STRONG, here's some ideas:

1. Lose the makeup. It's for 'girly girls', and it causes breast cancer. You'll save thousands. Strong women don't need to live up to some patriarchal standard of 'beauty'. Also, ditch the high heels. Be as tall as you are; what does it matter? Your feet will thank you for it.

2. Ask the guy out, arrange the date, and pay for it. Seriously. By doing that, you effectively 'level the playing field', and the guy can't say he's "owed" something. Plus, you don't have to wait by the phone, you get to do what YOU want, when you want it.

3. Initiate sex (if and when you feel like having it). If the guy doesn't make the first move, make it for him. Some men are great lovers waiting to be discovered, but they can be just as shy as women, if not more. (Back in the day, a girl had to actually grab my groin to clue me in that she wanted to play belly-bump.) An entire army of women have fought and lobbied so that women can have the same sexual rights as men, are you going to let them down? Do you want to be the 'nice girl' with cobwebs on her cooch, or the strong woman that gets it when she wants it?

4. Don't do housework, unless it's your house (then, do it whenever you feel like it). Don't pick up after a guy, just tell him he's being a slob, if he is. If you feel like cooking something (you'll eventually have to, anyway), go ahead, but don't think you have to.

In any event, it's obviously good to have a 'generic' quality of strength...courage, independence, smarts, health/fitness, etc. But if you want to be the STRONG one in a romantic hetero relationship, buy a CD called LONG COLD WINTER by Cinderella...it's great music to Wait For The Phone To Ring by.

Don't hate the player! Now back to your show...K.K.

4
Main / Check this out...(Re: CBC)
Nov 12, 2010, 08:31 AM
I recently signed up on the CBC to comment on the latest 'Domestic Violence' story.

Woke up today, checked email, saw this:

Hi Focusgroupllc

Thank you for being a member of CBC.ca. Your account has been temporarily de-activated because the following item in your public profile breaks our guidelines:




Since your profile is publicly viewable by anyone visiting CBC.ca, please change your profile to meet CBC.ca guidelines. After we've approved the changes, your account will be re-activated so you can participate in our online community.

To update your profile click here. To view our submission guidelines, click here.

Thank you.

The CBC.ca Team


Change the profile HOW? To include a glaring, yawning blank space?

I'm thinking Factory and Outdoors are right about the CBC...
5
Main / The "Losses" of Game
Oct 28, 2010, 08:27 AM
What up, tribe...this is a new 'freebie', inspired by an earlier thread:


The Losses of GAME
By K.K.


     On my second date with a new woman, we ended up in her bed, and a great time was had by all. Through a good deal of foreplay, three different positions, and a lot of attention to her various hot-spots, I count her climaxes and guess she's had about six. Not bad for our first time; the ROCK HER WORLD trick-bag has come through again. She asks "Where the hell have you been?" Better yet, she admits to an 'oral fixation' and says "Next time I want you to c***  in my mouth..."

     "We can certainly work something out." I reply, and set up our next date. She pours me another glass of champagne, with berries in it.

     (Yeah, I'm bragging. Had to, sorry.  But fear not, there's relevance to follow.)

     Now, this has been accomplished with what the 'Pick-up Artists' would call a 'resume/interview pick-up', basically a long-winded conversation mixing questions with my various accomplishments (although the foot massage I gave her on the first date possibly upped the ante). In the PUA lexicon, this would brand me as a 'chode' who could easily be 'blown out' (or 'cock-blocked') by a more 'accomplished' PUA.

     (And, as a polyamorist, I would've thought Whoop-de-f*ckin'-do, ordered another drink and contacted the next girl waiting on the web. There are several; I find myself turning down more than I contact.)

     Other PUA's would dismiss me for even dating her, or not bedding her on the first date. But I make no apologies for being an 'old-school' gentleman. We actually got to know each other before having sex. Horrors!

      A lot has been written on MRA blogs about the necessity of "GAME" and how important it is to MGTOW's and the Men's Movement in general..."Game" being a broad genre of mating strategies enabling men to pick up and initiate sex with women quickly and easily, eschewing traditional courtship and marriage...and indeed, the current state of marriage in Western civilization needs a major overhaul if it's to be considered even remotely worthwhile to the current generation of men.

      I shan't denigrate "Game" per se, as it's helped many men meet women when they'd normally be helpless without it. The true 'masters' and inventors of 'Game' are men who definitely needed something to make up for a lack of height, musculature, looks, charisma or wealth.

      But for those who say "Game" is the salvation of Men in general, I have to call bullsh*t.

      "Game" gets you laid, or at least starts a relationship, when you 'run it' properly on an amenable woman.

      That's all.

      It does nothing to reverse our march towards a police state. It does nothing to change the sexist laws (VAWA et. al.) seeking to lock men up by the thousands. It does nothing to alter the media image of men as criminals, dead-beat dads, adulterers, ad nauseum...in fact, it's giving the latest generation of men the reputation of being untrustworthy 'players' with no interest in marriage or commitment. (Although your humble servant would point out that the fates of the 'workers' who did opt for marriage and commitment weren't always of the 'Happier Ever After' variety.)

      I'd even go so far to point out some actual risks and/or negative aspects of "Game":

1.   A lot of "Game Theory" is predicated on becoming an "Alpha male"--not a bad thing to become in and of itself. But one such predication is Alphas never have just ONE girl...whereas governments, religions, educational institutions and most importantly the majority of women all worship at the altar of monogamy. (I'd place the percentage of women who would opt for a polyamorous or open relationship at 12% or lower.) Thus, the Alpha male is subconsciously lusted after, but consciously--and worse, publicly--condemned as a "cheater"...and there's no limit to the havoc women can wreak on a "cheater". Witness Tiger Woods' $750 million divorce pay-out, and his groveling public apology. Recall a news item where a female astronaut drove hundreds of miles in a diaper to commit mayhem in a fit of jealous rage. Consider former President Clinton, less known for his astounding economic expansion of our country then for his extramarital affair and impeachment trial. I'd wager Mr. McNair wasn't fatally shot by his girlfriend for hogging the blankets. I'll also go out on a limb and predict the number of false rape and false domestic violence charges will increase to plague more Alpha males, since in our current culture women can employ them with impunity. (Read Caveat Amator: Strategies For Men Before, During and After False Allegations in www.the-spearhead.com  or www.avoiceformen.com before you need to.) Alpha males may have 'mad skills' in the clubs, but they might also need mad skills in courtrooms, too.

2.   Bars and nightclubs love PUAs and their 'wingmen' and students as they relentlessly visit night after night: Ka-CHING go their cash registers as covers charges rise, drinks flow, and the cycle of 'sarging' and partying continues. While it might provide PUAs with plenty of 'sets' (or targets), the clubs come out ahead. Many clubs are now reserving tables only for those who opt for 'bottle service' where a thirty-dollar bottle of liquor costs ten times that. A lot of "Gamers" find themselves with a lot of numbers in their black books and few numbers in their bank accounts. "Clubs are expensive...partying is expensive." says PUA Chris Orleans (an advocate of non-club "Day Game"), and he's right. There are also the additional risks that come with partying, all of which are obvious.

3.   There's a 'sub-set' of more-accomplished PUAs that enjoy "blowing out" ("C*ck-blocking") men that aren't that accomplished who are trying to get acquainted with a woman the PUA has laid eyes on. Sometimes the PUA is more interested in the 'blow-out' than the woman herself. This is dangerous. While magically bending spoons to attract women in a foreign club, "Mystery" (of VH-1's "The Pick-up Artist") was approached by an envious local man, who said "Mister magician...can you bend this? And opened his coat to reveal a handgun. Mystery brazenly claimed he could magically burst a molecule inside the man's brain, and he backed down. Still, I can imagine more than a few PUAs that are now sporting concrete socks in a riverbed somewhere for hitting on some mafioso's moll.

4.   "Game" installs a bias for beauty over altruism, intelligence, kindness, loyalty, or any other desirable attribute a woman might bring to the table. Women are rated by the numbers: "When you're tired of banging fives and ready to take on the nines, buy my new book!" Every PUA chants. Ironically, some women initially thought to be "nines or tens" were Anna Nicole Smith, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, et. al. Not to denigrate them, but a lot of Gamers would have flocked to them 'back in the day' and now would avoid them like the plague, although they essentially remain the same people. This beauty bias has the additional downside of making women opt for style over substance: breast implants over college degrees, a ton of cosmetics and clothes instead of accumulating wealth. Worse, some women destroy themselves with bulimia or anorexia chasing an unreachable physical standard. (Out of his own 'Class of 207', your humble servant recalls his various "sixes" providing steak dinners and full-body massages--or the willingness to share with other women--and his various "nines" asking "What have you done for me lately"?) As I wrote in ROCK HER WORLD, we're attracted to beauty on a genetic level, but that doesn't mean we have to be enslaved by it.

5.   The proponents of "Game" often reinforce the double standard of promiscuous men as 'studs' and promiscuous women as 'sluts'. "Roosh", author of Bang and the blog www.rooshv.com said "I dated a girl who said she'd been in a gangbang with two guys...at that moment, she was dead to me." A flame-war erupted after the blog entry among the proponents of gang-bangs, those condemning any women who'd engage in one as a 'slut', 'skank', or worse, and those championing the notion that women have all the rights men have. "A key that can open many locks is a master key; a lock that can be opened by many keys is a weak lock." Was one entry. The Holy Grail of many in the PUA community (and the fantasy of most men in general) is the MFF 'threesome', which is seen as the only acceptable threesome: "A FMM threesome is two gay guys and a girl." Another post read. This writer finds it odd that any woman who has sex with a PUA after thirty minutes of "Game" isn't 'slutty', but simply affirms his "Game Mastery" (however, let her fall for the 'Mastery' of a different PUA afterwards--or just any other guy--and out come the knives).

6.   Tangential to point #1, a growing number of women seduced and abandoned by PUAs are looking back in anger at their one-night stands and thus at sexual relationships in general. "No Players!" shout the majority of women's profiles on dating sites. The clash between the male need for variety and the female need for security rings out continuously. I'd wager a lot of women now have the mentality of "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" and are hyper-vigilant towards PUAs and/or are leery of sexual relationships in general. PUAs have coined the term 'bitch shield' for this; ironically, the PUAs may have created them.

7.   There's a fine line--or perhaps no line at all--between continually 'nailing and bailing', and sex addiction. Your mileage may vary; with conflicting reports out there, I'm unsure if I'm a sex addict or just a hetero guy surrounded by ads using bikini models to sell every conceivable product. And as far as addictions go, better to be addicted to sex than heroin or crystal meth, I say. Still, every addiction has its price. "Mystery" was admitted to an asylum at the beginning of Neil Strauss's book The Game. Ex-porn star Shelley Lubben's ministry The Pink Cross has created a YouTube requiem of all of the porn stars that have committed suicide (perhaps only 10% of the industry in general, but still a sadly substantial amount).  Whereas Dr. Andrew Weil is trying to convince the medical industry of "Disconnection Syndrome"--where people have no social connections at all...I'd wager there's such a thing as "Completion Syndrome", where, once one has tasted every possible worldly delight they can think of, the workaday world becomes too tedious for them and they bail out of it. Consider the suicide of Jon Dough, once titled "The Luckiest Man In The World" in the Hustler movie of the same name, where he had sex with 100 women in the same film. One wonders, wouldn't it be better to just change pursuits instead of committing suicide?

One final point: "Game" might actually have an expiration date. The various books and websites hawking game techniques aren't visible to men only. At the end of The Game--pardon the expression--Neil Strauss wrote that "The Mystery Method" had become his methods, which had become everyone else's methods, and he witnessed single men 'peacocking', 'negging' and 'sarging' all over Hollywood. One of his protégés, Tyler, took the methods to co-found Real Social Dynamics, now a Fortune 500 company. Real Social Dynamics is now charging hundreds or even thousands of dollars for their expertise.

It's therefore just a matter of time before the average "nine" hears an opening statement from a single man, and concludes "I'm being Gamed."

It'll be interesting to see what transpires at that cultural tipping point. Perhaps the latest "Game" rituals will have become so foolproof they'll work anyway; perhaps 'PUA paranoia' will have run so deep the "nines" will have built up perpetual 'bitch shields'.

As I wrote earlier, there's no shame in having "Game", it's better to have it than not, but too much of anything will have its downside, and it might be better to see and acknowledge the downside going in.   

 
    POINTS TO CONSIDER:
A.   How much of your self-image is tied to your ability to seduce women, or rack up 'notches'? Do you feel you've 'failed' if you don't have sex with a lot of women? (If it's any help, you haven't.)
B.   Is the ability--or challenge-- to "win over" a certain woman more important than the woman herself?
C.   How much do you learn about the women you seduce (and let them learn about you) before your seduction's complete?
D.   If a woman says she's "On the pill" or "Can't get pregnant", do you take her at her word, or practice safe sex regardless?
E.   If a woman says she has a husband or boyfriend...but indicates she's considering your advances anyway...do you continue gaming her?
F.   Have you ever lost a girlfriend by insisting she has a threesome with you and another woman?
G.   Do you have a certain physical 'standard' women must meet before you 'Game' them?
H.   After having sex with a woman, do you feel closer to her, or bored with her?
I.   If you have more than one sex partner, or you practicing responsible non-monogamy (wherein they know about each other), or are you lying and/or cheating to continue the relationships?

(Note: There are no 'right or wrong' answers to these, they're only meant for you discover areas that might need attention before potential problems start.)
6
Main / New Article at The Spearhead
Oct 25, 2010, 08:56 AM
Greetings all...got a new article up at The Spearhead (www.the-spearhead.com). It's called When Strength Is Weakness. Check it out and leave your two cents if you're so incllined.
Best, KK
7
Main / Alternate legal advice
Oct 22, 2010, 10:49 AM
The Spearhead recently posted my Strategies For Men article (www.the-spearhead.com, go to 'earlier posts')
And a pretty long comment string came afterwards. One poster was an attorney who said the following:

My background is that I was a defense attorney, prosecutor and have been a detective investigating domestic violence for 15 years. I have been around this stuff for a long time. I know there are legions of false accusations and many more exaggerated accusations, so I am sympathetic in general to the purpose of this article. In that vein i would offer some contrary advice you can take or leave.
The first thing to decide if you are accused of a crime or the police have been called is whether you actually broke the law. In general you know if you did. If you are unsure whether you broke the law, you probably did. In that case:
Get away from the scene if you can do so without fleeing the police and stay gone.
1. Keep your mouth shut:
2, Be polite and physically compliant
3. Get a lawyer
4. Refuse any contact with the complainant or any friends or relatives therof.
5. Except for any mandated court appearance, get and stay invisible.
However, if you are falsely accused I think you should act completely differently. Stay and tell anyone including the police, exactly what happened. If the complainant is falsely accusing you it is probably
because she is angry about something: explain why she is angry at you and how that led to the threat. Were you packing to leave and she threatened you out of a sense of abandonment (very common)? Show them the suitcase. Did she hurt herself to make an injury? Show them how she did it so they can compare it to her marks and contrast it with her version of events. Show them how you have no marks on your knuckles or skin under your nails. Did she throw a shoe? Show them the dent in the wall and the shoe that made it. The different ways in which you can demonstrate a false accusation are endless but it really takes a person who was there to show all of the things that demonstrate the falseness of it. Otherwise the cops won't know what to look for. I know that this is contrary to what virtually every defense lawyer says: They always say never talk to the police. Why do they give this advice? Because while its not necessarily the best advice for all clients, its the safest advice. Most clients are in fact guilty of something so most should just shut up. Very, very few lawyers are going to try to sort out all the angles to figure out tonight whether you are innocent. You will get booked in and they will sort it out at the courthouse, in an environment they are comfortable with during business hours and after you pay a retainer. The problem is that exonerating evidence is similar to incriminating evidence: It dries up, disappears, gets thrown in the trash by the complainant, witnesses move away, go home without anyone learning their name, texts get deleted, phone messages get erased, etcetera etcetera. Over the years I have seen many false accusations shown when the accused helps me see the evidence that they are innocent. The fact is that there is NO law that mandates an arrest if the officer does not believe there is probable cause that a crime was committed and the accused committed it. Police get a bad rap in this country but the fact is that the average officer knows there are lots of false accusations and gets really tired of them. Its offensive to be used by pseudo victims and by the victim industry and whether you believe it or not it is true that most cops get really offended by complainants who try to play us. Again, take it or leave it but hopefully won't need it.
8
Main / Women pay a price...
Oct 20, 2010, 10:52 AM
Something from the High Status Male (Mike Pilinski)...

Women Pay a Great Collective Price for their Wanton Disregard of the Male Ego

Posted: 18 Oct 2010 01:15 PM PDT

Women see the dance of courtship as a big game with a specific goal in mind: meet the man who will produce the healthiest babies and offer his protection to her.  This requires a lot of shopping around on their part, something which most women of course tend to delight in (and possess a special gene for I think!).  Meet some guy, date him and dump him... flirt and tease around endlessly... reject the guys you don't like, go with the guy who you finally find some "chemistry" with and live happily ever after.

All the broken hearts and embarrassing rejections are quickly forgotten - by HER.  Not by you of course.

And because they think that men are generally dumb when it comes to matters emotional, many also tend to think that we have short memories.  Actually, they think we have NO memories whatsoever beyond important stuff like box scores and football plays, or more accurately, any real capacity for emotional pain. At least not on the same profound level that they experience it.

Reject a guy and so what?... the dummy goes bouncing away into the night and immediately lays his lame rap on some other chick, and another and another, until one of them finally falls for his crap and he takes her home and smashes it.  He ends up with a girlfriend or not.  Whoppie.  What do I care about him?  Just another crude, crass, selfish asshole who will break his future wife's heart with his philandering -- or merely drive her into the depths of despair with his loveless disregard of her own emotional needs.

What they don't get is the hand that THEY have in the creation of all these emotional abusers and women haters.  That's right, it's their own fault so many men turn out this way.  How can that be?... because they don't understand the massive power - the massive control - that the male ego has upon us.

Most women probably regard the male ego as just another stupid little aspect of our dimwitted personalities, that "thing" lurking in our lunkheads that keeps us from stopping to ask for directions when we're hopelessly lost.  Ha ha!  What a joke.  Oh, but ladies, it's no joke, this male ego.  It's the centerpiece of the male existence.  It's what drives us to great heights, or sends us crashing to the lowest depths of depravity.

And you, girl, are the executive software writer of the convoluted source code that runs it.

You, Silly Sally, doing that harmless little flirting thing with Jimmy... stringing him along and making him think that he actually has a chance with you.  Making him love you and become infatuated.  Only to discard him like a set of worn out tires when the guy you REALLY wanted all along - Johnny - finally asks you out to the prom.  Heck with ol' Jimmy... it's Johnny I want! Jimmy can go find someone else.  After all, he's just another dopey guy being led around by his trouser snake -- he'll just move on to the next tight rear-end that he sees, he didn't care about me anyway.  Men have no real emotions like girls do anyway.  They don't cry.  Girls cry, and it's the nasty boys that almost always make us!

This is where you're wrong.  Jimmy has feelings alright, but he just can't express them because society won't allow it.  Code of Strong Men, and all that.  So Jimmy has to subduct his pain and frustration and loss and go on as if nothing happened - looking outwardly just like that uncaring fool the women think he is - but something has happened.  Jimmy has developed a way to deal with his pain, all men have.  How does he do it?

He writes an I.O.U.

A marker... a chit to be called in sometime in the distant future.  Some girl he hasn't even met yet will pay the price for your little transgression.  And here's why, because what women don't realize about men is this: flirting and courting and begging the sexual favors of a woman is not some cute little game to us like it is to you - we're deadly serious about it.  When a man reaches out to you and offers himself when the first stirrings in his heart tell him to do so, he has just taken his ego, his most precious possession, and pushed it into the center of the poker table.

Chits build up - go into storage for revenge - future women bear the cost of these rejections.  Men cannot process their emotions openly, and so must subduct them where they fester and grow rancid.  They are never are completely cleared however until they are processed through a vengeful, often unjustified act.  This could be where a lot of your weird desires to hurt someone that you love someday in the future will come from - unfinished business that never was settled.

So ladies, YOU are responsible for this bad behavior that you love to rant about.  Men cannot tolerate your rejections. It's not just a temporary pain and disappointment, it is a piercing lance into the very core of their being which challenges their very identity as men.  And you know how insecure they can be about that (ask any gay man who made a gaydar mistake!).

Women have the power of being the "chooser" in the game of seduction conveyed to them by social convention, but they do not have ALL the power.  As a man you must resist projecting a "beggar's mentality" at all costs.  Men sometimes make big a mistake by surrendering too much of their power by making themselves subservient to a woman's wishes -- and this diminishes them greatly.

Keep this "danger zone" in mind at all times and slap yourself awake when you find yourself slipping into it.  It will be especially bad if the woman is very hot or special to you in some way, this is where you will have to use major strength of emotion and character to keep from seeming like a lowly butt kiss.  The cute ones will make the task even harder for you by acting somewhat unattainable.  It is their test... they have the ability to filter ruthlessly for the best high status males out there, and many are not afraid to use this power to the hilt.

This is the great danger underlying all we as men fear -- that we'll get oh-so-close to scoring her trust and then... BAM!... one wrong move, one misplaced comment, and our chance is blown and gone.  Here is the black core of all our greatest anxiety when it comes to meeting women: not that we'll simply be rejected, but that we'll be rejected by the one that we didn't even want to take a shot at unless it was a sure thing.  The near miss that would be unbearable to experience.  The heartache, the regret.  Play with fire and you will get burned, maybe badly.  This can be the big deal breaker for many of us, why we refuse to take the chance to begin with.

Some food for thought today.  Keep all this in mind when trying to understand the nature of the many roadblocks that you may've created in your own mind which are only sabotaging your best social efforts.
You are subscribed to email updates from The High Status Male
To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now.    Email delivery powered by Google
Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL USA 60610
9
http://www.officer.com/web/online/Investigation/Domestic-Violence--Pt-3/18$54583

A link that should be broadcast far and wide, until the police know they're being used...
10
I agree with one of the commenters: there ought to be birth control in the water supply, and you have to apply for the antidote by passing a battery of parenting tests...

http://gawker.com/5652804/mom-boyfriend-sentenced-to-jail-for-taping-toddler-to-wall
11
Main / Stopping DV before it starts
Sep 11, 2010, 08:51 PM
I was just visiting a county courthouse and saw a large amount of literature available for people going through Domestic Violence, and what perhaps to do after it happened...but it struck me: it's all very reactionary; there is virtually no literature on how to stop domestic violence BEFORE it happens, how to 'defuse it', perhaps.
It occurred to me something like that could save lives, and/or stop men and women from being legally 'railroaded'.

In the sex and relationships section of Focusgroup (www.focusgroup.ning.com) I've posted the "Due Diligence" checklist that pertains to marriage (or committed relationships) instead of business. It's a start...but I'm wondering what else could be done to stop DV before it starts...

(Some ideas)
1. No YELLING at one's partner; use written communication instead of verbal communication when one's upset, angry, etc.
2. Giving one's partner 'space' right after the workday, instead of reading them a riot act right when they come home
3. Realizing neither partner is the other's parent, boss, nanny or caretaker
4. ALWAYS WALK AWAY from an escalating argument
5. Know that in most states, once police are summoned they will NOT necessarily play 'moderator' or issue a warning, they will make an ARREST which will in all probability end the relationship.

I'm just thinking out loud for now...but what would you add? Any and all input is appreciated.
Best, KK
12
Main / Jane Austen Fight Club
Jul 26, 2010, 07:02 AM
For those of us in need of some levity (maybe all of us?), I just got sent this on Facebook...
Nearly laughed myself into a nosebleed...

Jane Austen's Fight Club
13
I was fuming when I saw this. One of the biggest Democratic campaign promises was to pull troops OUT of Afghanistan...

http://www.infowars.com/fool-me-twice-biden-says-no-exit-from-afghanistan/
14
Main / American Collapse vs. Lebron James
Jul 10, 2010, 02:01 PM
Just saw this on Youtube, thought it was interesting, and unfortunately true.
I don't care for this guy's overall tone (I'd rather hear practical advice than "THE SKY IS FALLING), but he's probably right. I don't understand how major media outlets continually broadcast this petty celebrity crud when there are so many more important issues to focus on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3B_xBWsDpz0&feature=topvideos
15
Greetings. Got this off of WWW.CHANGE.ORG, so if the link doesn't work merely click on that site...

(What's even more horrific is that if this guy actually COMMITTED these crimes, he'd probably be released by now.)





Demand Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Free An Innocent Man
by Elizabeth Renter June 25, 2010 06:56 AM (PT) Topics: Criminal Justice in the Media, Sentencing, Wrongful Convictions

    * Share167
    *
    * 6269 Views

Thirty-five years is a long time. It's particularly long if you spend it in prison. However, 35 years is an eternity when you spend it locked up for a horrendous crime you didn't commit. Just ask William Macumber, who's been locked up for the last 35 years for a crime the Arizona Board of Executive Clemency says he never participated in.

That's what the Board told Arizona Governor Jan Brewer last year, in a letter recommending the state release Macumber from prison. And yet Governor Brewer rejected their recommendation without reason, leaving many to question Brewer's motives for keeping an innocent man behind bars.

William Macumber was convicted of a double murder in 1975. According to the testimony of his then-wife Carol, Macumber confessed to killing a couple in the desert 12 years earlier, a crime that had remained unsolved until that time. The Clemency Board found Carol's testimony to be unreliable, while Macumber's attorney and their own son have suggested that she actually used her position with an Arizona Sheriff's Department to fabricate some of the evidence used at the trial. As if that weren't enough, another man has actually confessed to the desert killing. Despite these facts, Macumber remains in prison -- a 74-year-old man with heart problems and arthritis, a man who should be enjoying time with his grandchildren, not watching his days pass behind razor wire.

Why would Brewer keep Macumber behind bars? Some speculate that her reasons are linked to the fact that she's running for reelection this year, and needs all the help she can get. Brewer -- who's built a national reputation, thanks to her support of Arizona's highly controversial anti-immigration law -- appears to be playing it safe with this case, preferring to avoid any political risk involved in pardoning a man, such as seeming soft on crime.

It's extremely rare for a Clemency Board to make such a recommendation on a case as old as this and even more unusual for them to claim an inmates innocence. However, it's unheard of for a governor to basically ignore their request with no official reason. Join us at Change in urging Governor Brewer to reconsider her position. Let her know that the nation is watching -- and knows that she's preventing an innocent man from being freed.

Related Action
Take Action
1,154 People
Demand AZ Governor Jan Brewer Free An Innocent Man
Create your own petition »

By the time Macumber's wife accused her husband of killing a young couple in the desert in 1962, the murder had gone unsolved for over a decade. Yet unbeknownst to all, a man named Ernesto Valenzuela had actually confessed to the crime, while being tried on another, similar double homicide. Yet Valenzuela's attorney, Thomas W. O'Toole, was bound by attorney-client privilege and unable to speak up until after Valenzuela's death in 1973. Though O'Toole offered to testify about the confession at Macumber's trial, he was denied the opportunity, as were two others who knew of Valenzuela's confession.

Accordingly, Macumber was largely convicted on the testimony of his then-wife, the other party in a marriage that was already falling apart. Though there were two additional pieces of evidence -- bullet casings and a partial palm print -- both are now believed to have been planted by his wife, who goes today by the name Carol Kempfert. Kempfert stands by her original testimony, even though the case has resulted in estrangement from her own son, and the Clemency Board calls it a "miscarriage of justice."

The Arizona Board of Executive Clemency, which is tasked with reviewing parole eligibility and clemency actions, is composed of criminal justice professionals who've been in the system for decades. They work to balance public safety with justice and are respected figures in the field. It's not often they stake their reputation on a case like Macumber's -- and still less often do they make the outright determination that someone like Macumber is wholly innocent.

And yet the Governor is willing to disregard their work entirely. It's unacceptable that a man's life should be sacrificed, all so that the Governor can save political face. Show your outrage by signing this petition. Elected officials in Arizona need to know that we're putting the pressure on Governor Brewer -- and that we won't stand by and watch her make a mockery of justice.

Photo Credit: Sundials by Carmichael
16
Main / A perpetual state of rage
Jun 22, 2010, 01:23 PM
This is a bit personal, but what the hell... :BangHead:

I seem to be living in a perpetual state of rage right now, and one scary part is that there doesn't seem to be a way to safely or legally release it. So it has to held back, obviously, and it clearly can't be healthy in the long term...I don't know what the physical effects will be, although I suppose I could research it. I'm not all that psyched to find out.

I theorized that hunting, or martial arts or boxing would be an outlet, but I've never been a violent person, and clearly the other party isn't to blame and wouldn't benefit from it. (I really, REALLY want to act out on the individual that put me in this state, but I would have to leave the country afterwards. And actually that's looking better all the time.)

One thing that seems to help (and actually probably doesn't) is alcohol, which I seem to have an astounding tolerance for. Sometimes I think I can out-drink Metallica. However, alcohol doesn't let anyone off scot-free (I am writing a new book called SAFER DRINKING, to turn the experience somewhat positive.) I'm still relatively healthy but I can see cirrhosis setting in over the next year or so.

Another slight outlet is the horror fiction I write...Robert R. McCammon once said that horror writers were some of the coolest and friendliest people to be around, just because they 'get all their acid out on paper'.

I've spoken to a few professionals about it and unfortunately they only seem to have platitudes...well-intentioned ideas, to be sure, but nothing that seems practical. In public, and in my relationships, I'm on my best behavior, and due to my acting ability only a few people know I'm burning up inside.  :angryfire:

I don't know if there's a medication for this. I'd really not like to go on medication, since most of them are 'maintenance doses' that you're obliged to keep taking, sometimes forever.

I'm sure some of you have felt the same way in the past, or are unfortunately feeling the same way now (my condolences if you are). What have you used to deal with it? I'm open to any and all suggestions.
18
This is from one of my favorite bloggers...I wish it weren't true, but all evidence points to the contrary...

Monday, June 07, 2010
My Speech to the Graduating Class of 2010
Please feel free to forward this essay to any would-be or recent graduates ... and their parents.
~Dantalion Jones

The Three Sign Posts of Destruction
by Dantalion Jones

Please allow me to address those students who are facing graduation and the possibility of a new life.

I offer this first with my greatest hopes for your future and I also offer this as a cautionary tale.

Lately, I've been watching a lot of TruTV and DateLine Mystery. Most of these shows are about terrible crimes done by people who seem to start out as good upstanding citizens.

Some how they find their way down the slippery slow where they are either murdered, commit a murder, or resort to some other criminal behavior.

My questions are "How did it start?" and "What could have been done?".

After some thought it seems so clear. These were all people who were young and idealistic with ambitions. All of them set out to "live the dream". But every last one of them, did one or all these three things: Marriage, Family, Home Ownership.


Marriage

Face it, marriage only seems like a good idea until after you've done it.

When the honeymoon ends is when reality sets in and you realize that you have severely restricted your options.

I'm not referring to just your options for sex. I referring to most ALL your options. Do you want to let your laundry pile up a day longer? That won't happen when you're married.

Do you want to start that business you always wanted?

The way your mom told you how to do dishes, that is no longer a viable alternative. Your spouses way is now mandatory.

Do you want to innocently say hello to a man or woman without having to explain your actions?

Once you are married every action you want to make is up for either negotiation or explanation.

Let us not forget that it may take a couple of years to reveal a further truth .... your spouse is insane. They could be a gambler, a shop-a-holic, manic-depressive, obsessive-compulsive, sex addict, cross dresser or they could be just working out their mommy/daddy issues with you ... just ask a few married people what they discovered after a few years within the institution.

This is immediately followed by years of denial then years more of therapy, damage control and problem solving.

Remember, there is almost no way you can see this at the onset of your hormonal enchantment. That is how insidious marriage can be.



Have a Family

Three words: John and Kate.

Like marriage this next step may start off like an adventure but can end up like the Temple of Doom.

The difference between marriage and family is the difference between a 10 year sentence and life imprisonment.

With kids all your previous options are now completely shut off. Your only recourse is to fake your death and start anew. According to TruTV and Dateline this last recourse is much more difficult than it seems.

Failing the fake-your-death option you must do what many have done. Abandon hope and surrender to the fact your life will never be what you once dreamed it to be.

Strangely, this is the point where family becomes your great resource, for they become the life-support to your surrender and help to cloud your resignation and despair. The family will comfort you as long as you obediently remain confined and cloistered from your now fading hopes and dreams. This is what Morgan Freeman's character described in "Shawshank Redemption" as becoming "institutionalized".


Buying a House

Home ownership helps bring to the surface everyone's hopes and ideals as well as deepest fears and insecurities.

With a home and a family you discover that there are bills to pay that you could have never imagined possible.

If you've ever wondered if you could afford to buy a house then you can't afford it.

I will have to admit that there are people who can successfully balance all three of these potential hazards. Those who manage them well can make it look easy. In so doing they help build the illusion that we can do it with just as much grace and poise.

So, my young graduates, I ask all of you to remember this speech and I ask you to remember that I told you that you WILL forget everything I've just told you.

Forgetting this warning is a fact of life and due to hormones, blind ambition, a sense of immortality and lack of life experience it is biologically ingrained in you. You will not follow these warnings.

Ten years from now you will gather together at a reunion and a few of you will circle together. Leaning forward, with drink in hand you will look down and in an awkward silence you will shake your head and say "Remember that guy who warned us about marriage, family and buying a home?" Silence will follow those words, for they all know what you're referring to.

"He was right."

19
Main / (OT) Breastfeeding (hilarious)
May 13, 2010, 10:00 AM
Just saw this on the Onion...bloody hilarious, and nearly true...

http://www.theonion.com/video/advocacy-group-mothers-have-right-to-expose-milken,17381/
20
I just came across this site: www.womansavers.com, "the top internet resource to rate a guy before you date him'...it goes on to literally accuse specific men of being rapists, abusers, pedophiles ETC! It's from "Dating Expert" Stephany Alexander, who apparently only cares about men being 'cheaters'. If anyone sees their name on her database, I think it's ground for defamation of character.
Best, KK