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Messages - stands2p

Main / Re: Why Mommy is a Democrat
May 04, 2007, 11:30 AM

So democrats are mommy? Sounds about right.

And, of course daddy isn't mentioned anywhere.

Sure, daddy is right there, he is the rich dude with the cigar.    Daddy apparently has a new wife.  He abandoned the mother of his children and ran out on child support.  The enforcement people tried to garnish him but his lawyer got him off with the old "she's a freakin' squirrel" argument.

Can I see a show of hands on how many of use believe that much of this 80 % chit-chat is encouraged as a source of guarranteed income for the therapists?

Catering to women is as old as the hills.  The dangerous thing is that a person's feelings are beginning to have a standing in the court system.  A judge granted a restraining order against David Letterman because some woman he never met FELT that he was harrassing her via subtle messages during his television show.  There was obviously no evidence, the order was granted based on her feelings.
I have been digging for statistics of female officers being killed, having weapons or vehicles stolen or otherwise being "compromised" in the line of duty.  I think there is some data showing a higher rate for female LEO's.  I have great respect for LE, male or female but I think there are legitimate concerns about the way women approach dangerous situations.

Some female officers try to over compensate for their perceived tendency to allow emotions into situations.  They can be more of a bully than some male officers.  The problem is that they try to use the same tactics male officers do.  A 225 lb male officer asking you if you've been to jail before will cause most suspects to settle down and listen up.  The same question from a 130 lb officer, delivered in a female voice will have the same suspect thinking he had better knock her down, take her weapon and drive off in her car.

Male or female, a more "sensitive" officer might have said something like "ma'am, I can see you are upset and worried but you have to drive safely.  I will walk you in to see your father and confirm your story but I will have to have your car towed and write you a ticket."

If this had happened, we wouldn't be seeing the story of course.  

But officers can't get involved to that extent in every person's life.  They have to stay in control of situations and follow procedure.
I think counseling is a plan to lose 99 percent of the time.


Agreed,  counseling as it is practiced, is all about giving women what they want, meeting their emotional expectations.

Unfortunately, those demands are being translated into "rights" by the courts.
most of the video clip on is from the dashcam.
Main / Re: Bravo. Bravo. Bravo.
May 04, 2007, 09:55 AM
But she really FELT that she had had a child and she really FELT that she deserved child support money.  Shouldn't that count for something?
There is an excellent example over on CNN right now.  A woman was rushing to the hospital because she heard her father was having a heart attack.  She was pulled over for speeding as she entered the hospital complex and the deputy took no interest in her story, assuming she was lying.  The woman drove off from the traffic stop, apparently not realizing that this is roughly equivalent in a law enforcement officer's mind to pulling a gun.  The deputy went into combat mode and arrested her with plenty of manhandling.

She assumed that her intense emotion would allow her to transcend all laws and limits.  A moment's thought would have told her that the fastest path to her father's bedside was "yes officer, of course officer, I'm sorry officer, thank you officer."  Or better yet, finding a friend to drive her to the hospital.

The deputy will get little criticism from me because some of my best friends are cops or ex-cops and they can't let their guard down in situations like that.  But, as is consistent with my 80/20 hypothesis, the deputy was operating from emotions of fear and anger when he was convinced he was operating from procedure.  In the calm and safe atmosphere of the incident review board, he will probably be severely reprimanded.

This same woman could easily have run over a child on her way to the hospital.  A more "sensitive" officer could easily have been murdered by a drug runner with a sob story and a concealed weapon.  The world is seeing one perspective of this event because it appeals to emotion.
Main / Men, Women, Emotion and the 80/20 Rule
May 04, 2007, 09:28 AM
One of my big issues with feminism is the idea that there are no fundamental differences between men and women beyond plumbing.  I think one of the fundamental differences between men and women is in their different needs for emotional support and the role of feelings in making decisions.

Within an existing relationship, when women expect husbands and boyfriends to take on the role of girlfriend and confidante or demands that a man "share" or "vent" there is conflict. 
When a man expects a woman to "cowboy up" and do what needs to be done or is too emotionally guarded about his own feelings, there is conflict.
When women or men try to convince themselves that they are acting from reason when they are actually seized by emotion, there is conflict.

When relationships are in trouble, many people try counseling.  As a man,  I think of a counselor as someone who is emotionally detached from my situation who can give me impartial advice.  I think some women see a counselor as someone who will become emotionally invested in her situation and tell her she is a good person and help her feel better about her situation rather than advising her on how to improve the situation.

Men, especially younger men who are caught in the C.S. system, need good advice on how to avoid being destroyed by a system that is biased against them.  Young men who haven't been caught by the system need to be aware of the dangers of the system and how they can avoid being trapped in it.   The few counseling services that are currently available to men are not geared towards men's needs and may do more harm than good.

The kinds of people who are drawn to counseling work tend to be people who want to listen to people emote and help them work through their feelings.  This is an important part of helping someone but I think there is a 80/20 rule that is opposite for men and women.  Women want and need to spend 80% of the counseling time talking about how they feel about the situation and 20% of the time talking about how to fix it.  Men want to spend minimal time talking about how they feel and more time looking for solutions. 

On those rare occasions where social services will provide counseling to a man, the counselor is probably going to be a woman and she is probably going to expect to spend most of the session talking about feelings.  Some men will take an invitation to emote at face value and begin talking about their feelings of anger and betrayal and frustration. The counselor will become frightened and refer the fellow to anger management classes.  Some men will get the message from all the talk about feelings that he has no options and should just accept the situation as it is. 

What would be more helpful to a man in conflict with the C.S. system would be to talk with someone, preferably a man, who can tell him that his feelings are understandable but also tell him about the range of constructive options available.
Main / Re: 40% of duck sex is "rape"
May 04, 2007, 07:27 AM
I saw a couple of mallard hens going at it this morning.  Not that I stopped to watch or anything.  Anyway, if it was duck rape, it was good duck rape.
Main / Re: Do you find this offensive?
May 03, 2007, 01:32 PM
I saw this clip earlier today.  It's about a protest against a radio station billboard for their morning show where the two host's faces are shown printed on a woman's shirt in such a way that makes full use of her large breasts.  The two hosts are "boobs" get it?

I am a parent and the ad doesn't particularly bother me.  I think there are worse things out there.  I do protect my kids from some images but at the end of the day, I am prepared to answer their questions about the world as it is.

What bothers me more are the things these women say

"I don't want that tolerated in my community or anywhere else."

"It's against my parental rights."

Claims her 7 year old daughter said the ad was "immodest."

Yeah, kids don't talk that way.

"objectifying women"

"sex sells and they know it"

These two women have embarrassed themselves on international news. Their sense of entitlement is disgusting.   They come across as poorly educated busybodies but they still know how to throw around a term like "objectifying women."  They know that will get them a certain amount of support from feminist groups.

JBPH says:

Yeah they already have that, welfare, CS court etc.
Main / Re: 40% of duck sex is "rape"
May 03, 2007, 06:52 AM

What part of Quack don't you understand?

"What I think is really cool is this does speak a lot about the ability of the female to have these cryptic mechanisms of choice," Brennan said.

That's some pretty academic language there. 
Main / Re: If Men Got Pregnant...
May 03, 2007, 06:45 AM
A long time ago, when I would still debate with the occasional feminist, I found a lot of their arguments began with the phrase
"If men got pregnant..." 
They would use this to try to make points about abortion rights, child care, welfare and on and on.  Every time I would hear that phrase, I would interupt as rudely as I could get away with:


Western women have imposed a whole culture of catering to the whims of women who are pregnant, have ever been pregnant or might be thinking about being pregnant someday.  Their physical, emotional and especially financial needs are placed above everyone else's. 

The women I have known from other parts of the world think American women are total wimps regarding pregnancy, childbirth and parenting. 

When I was in the Army in the mid-80's, the married guys told me how their wives begged them to get them approval to have their children in a civilian hospital.  This was no small thing for a junior enlisted guy to pull off; kind of like getting your health insurance to pay for cosmetic surgery or something.  The reason the wives wanted this was that they wanted to be pampered and the army hospital didn't do pampering.  The army nurses would roust the new mothers out of bed for exercises rather than scurry to their bedsides to fluff their pillows and offer them snacks.  That is how a masculine organization handled childbirth.

If, by some bizarre science fiction, men started having babies while still being men, there would be a few changes and I doubt women would like them much.
Main / Re: Advice?
May 02, 2007, 07:46 AM
Take this with a grain of salt Zarby, strictly for what it is worth:
A 16 year old boy is going to be like that.  They are often surly and selfish and ungrateful.  He probably knows deep down that he is hurting your feelings with his talk about your ex's boyfriend but it is his way of lashing out at the situation he is in.  He loves both his parents but he winds up feeling disloyal to one of his parents most of the time.

He wants to have a cool car to impress his friends; he doesn't want to be the guy who drives up in the hand-me-down mini-van (just like our nightmare was the old wood panel station wagon.) 

He knows there is only so much money available to buy a car.  I'll bet he wants someone to teach him how to shop for a car and I'll bet he wants it to be you.

Again, for what it's worth: try to stick in there and help the boy get a car.     It's a rite of passage and you and your son both deserve to share the experience.  I read a piece of advice a few years ago that said every man needs a mechanic he can trust.  If you don't already have one, now is a great time to find one.  Let the mech know that you and your son will be bringing in some used cars for a once-over and negotiate a price for each one. 

Teach your boy how to bargain with sellers and tradesmen to get a better price, that is a valuable skill.  Hopefully, your son will see that you have some great 'Dad Wisdom' to teach him.

Good luck with this Zarby.

P.S.  And I agree that the boy should earn some of the money himself.  You don't appreciate things that are given to you.
for any w/o access to a fast connection, here is how the ad goes:
A rugged adventurer type rides a horse across a rugged plain and hears a cry for help.
He dismounts and runs to the edge of a nearby cliff.  Below, a stunning blonde clings to a tree root.  She looks up and gives him a wink.  The adventurer is smitten with her pearly white teeth and ample cleavage and rushes back to his horse to fetch a rope.
Back at his horse, he pauses for a swig from his Montavit Mineral Water.
Suddenly, he pictures a grim future with a cranky, pregnant wife, rooms full of howling brats and a gruesome mother-in-law.
He swings back into the saddle and spurs his horse toward the horizon.
The tag line: a moment of clarity.

A nice change from typical ads, I will be playing this for the boys in my youth group!