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Topics - The Biscuit Queen

161
Main / Anti-fathers rights site
Sep 20, 2005, 06:40 AM
http://www.gate.net/~liz/fathers/farrell.htm

This is one of the things the men's rights movement is up against.

I met Warren Farrell, and thought he was a very nice, kind man, softspoken and considerate as well as passionate. Yet I am deeply disturbed by this. I also have read several of his books, and am cautious as to the social engineering I saw, and the devaluing of male past times such as football and wrestling.

What does anyone else think? Do we throw the baby out with the bathwater, or do we just accept that he has made incredable strides for us, and ignore the unsavory parts?

I am inclined to think that the incest phase is likely over, this all went on nearly 25 years ago. He has made a lot of changes in himself over the years, and there is no reason to think this is not one of them.

I really want to keep liking the man, I was very impressed by him. BUt at the same time, I heartily disagree with this idea that underage incest is healthy-I would at least have qualified it as over 18 incest, although that grosses me out personally I am not morally opposed to others doing so.

Anyone?
162
Main / 6 year old boy helps group of toddlers
Sep 09, 2005, 11:02 AM
This little boy is a hero, I just thought some good news was needed.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9230423/
163
Main / What could have been a funny story
Jul 19, 2005, 11:56 AM
Quote
Cold snaps are dangerous! > > Garden Grass Snakes
> > >(also known as  Garter Snakes... Thamnophis sirtalis)
> > >can be dangerous... Yes, grass  snakes, not
> > >rattlesnakes. Here's why...
> > >
> > >A couple in Sweetwater, Texas,  had a lot of potted
> > >plants. During a  recent cold spell, the wife was
> > >bringing a  lot of them indoors to protect them from a
> > >possible freeze.
> > >
> > >It  turned out that a little green garden grass snake
> > >was hidden in one of the  plants and when it had
> > >warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go
> > >under  the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
> > >
> > >The husband (who was taking a  shower) ran out into
> > >the living room naked to see what the problem was.
> > >
> > >She told  him there was a snake under the sofa. He got
> > >down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for
> > >it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed
> > >him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten
> > >him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.
> > >
> > >His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered
> > >him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance
> > >. The  attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his
> > >protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started
> > >carrying him out.
> > >
> > >About that time the snake came out from  under the
> > >sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and
> > >dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man
> > >broke his leg and why he is still in the  hospital.
> > >
> > >The wife still had the problem of the snake in the
> > >house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered
> > >to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
> > >rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
> > >Soon  he decided it was gone and told the woman, who
> > >sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing,
> > >her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she
> > >felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and
> > >fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.
> > >
> > >The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out,
> > >tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife,
> > >who had just returned  from shopping at the grocery
> > >store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth
> > >and slammed her husband  in the back of the head with
> > >a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and  cutting
> > >his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.
> > >
> > >The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she
> > >saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife
> > >bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by
> > >the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small
> > >bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's
> > >throat.
> > >
> > >By now the police had arrived.
> > >
> > >They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and
> > >assumed that  a drunken fight had occurred. They were
> > >about to arrest them all, when the  women tried to
> > >explain how it all happened over a little green snake.
> > >
> > >
> > >The  police called an ambulance, which took away the
> > >neighbor and his sobbing wife.
> > >
> > >The little snake again crawled out from under the
> > >sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at
> > >it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end
> > >table.
> > >
> > >The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and
> > >as the bulb broke it started a fire in the  drapes.
> > >
> > >The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and
> > >fell through the window into the yard on top of the
> > >family dog who, startled, jumped out  and raced into
> > >the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it
> > >and smashed into the parked police car.
> > >
> > >Meanwhile, the burning drapes, were seen by the
> > >neighbors who called the fire department. The firemen
> > >had started raising the firetruck ladder when they
> > >were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore
> > >out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and
> > >disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block
> > >area (but they did get the house fire out).
> > >
> > >Time passed.
> > >
> > >Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house
> > >was repaired, the dog came home, the  police acquired
> > >a new car, and all was right with their world.
> > >
> > >A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman
> > >announced a cold snap for that night.
> > >
> > >The husband asked his wife if she thought they should
> > >bring in their plants for the night.
> > >
> > >That's when she shot  him.


Unfortunately, there are two examples here of domestic violence (woman on man of course) which are seen as funny parts of the story. This could have easily been written without them and thus be free of any bias, but we are supposed to just accept them as common happenings with no consequence.

I really hate getting these things
164
Main / Some common sense on Ritalin!
Jul 05, 2005, 02:08 PM
http://family.msn.com/tool/article.aspx?dept=baby&sdept=bpc&name=bc_042705_hyperactive&signup=bc&offer=1&GT1=6673

Q&A on  ADDHA vs normal behavior


Q-My child can't seem to sit still. Could she be hyperactive? What can I do?

A-Toddlers are an active bunch. And because they have lots of energy to burn, many of them are just like your little one, unable to sit in one place for long. That's why traditionally doctors reassure parents not to worry about hyperactivity at this age, and have rarely diagnosed children under the age of 5 with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Recently, however, a spate of news articles and research studies has shown that more children this age are being diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed medications such as Ritalin and Prozac to help them cope. But most experts continue to believe that it's a mistake to prescribe medication for toddlers and preschoolers, especially as the side effects of these medications haven't been well studied in young children.

If your toddler's activity level is causing you concern, you may want to speak with your doctor about it. But the most important thing you can do is help her find as many outlets as possible for her abundant energy. Schedule frequent visits to the playground so she can run and climb to her heart's content. If you're indoors, turn on the radio or pop in a CD and get her dancing. You may want to join in the fray yourself (dancing, after all, increases the heart rate and keeps limbs loose, a plus for both adults and children). And if you can't play with your child -- for instance, when you're cooking dinner -- give her something to do instead of expecting her to sit quietly and wait for you. Loan her a few pots and pans and encourage her to use her toys as "ingredients" for a meal she cooks alongside you. The blocks can be mushrooms, and the puzzle pieces can be meat. Sing a song together as you cook, or catch up on your respective days.

You can help interest your child in sustained quiet activities by introducing them selectively and letting her participate at her own level. For example, if she doesn't seem to enjoy sitting on your lap to listen to a story, let her sit on the floor or wander around the room. If you add a lot of enthusiasm to your reading -- funny voices and animal sounds are big attention-getters -- she'll be hooked and will pay more attention.
 
 Rhythm is a great outlet; if you can stand the noise, encourage her to pound on drums or shake a pair of maracas. Musical instruments help focus her energy on one activity, while allowing her to play vigorously and work out her emotions. And remember, your child is more likely to play with her toys if you play with her. If she's under 2, she'll rarely play for long on her own.

Finally, limit the amount of time you ask her to sit still. If it's important to you that she sit still at dinnertime, then get her involved in something physical before dinner so she'll be ready for some quiet time. And if five minutes is her limit for staying in her chair, praise her for her good mealtime behavior and let her go.
165
We recently got a suprise. Your name sake appears to be a rooster after all!  He just started showing two red jowles where the other two have none.

He is huge now. He can't see very well, so he runs up to you like he is going to attack, but he is just trying to see out from under that huge froof on his head!

Gonzo is just gorgeous. I will have to go out today and get some pics to download. I think Gonz has a little crush on me, he keeps giving me the rooster dance usually reserved for hens!  He loves to perch on my arm or shoulder or knee, and crow whenever I whistle for the dogs. He is just a little charmer. Who ever knew?  :wink:

Well, everyone has been so serious and all I though a little off topic fun would do us some good.
166
Main / belated~ fathers day article
Jun 30, 2005, 11:09 AM
http://www.thejournalnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050619/NEWS02/506190333/1018/NEWS02

Sad day for some dads
By DWIGHT R. WORLEY
[email protected]
THE JOURNAL NEWS

For information

The Fathers Rights Association of New York State is a nonprofit support group that advises parents on their legal rights. To reach the Lower Hudson Valley chapter, call 888-991-8867.




(Original publication: June 19, 2005)


Today, Ralph Vasquez will do what he has done every Father's Day for more than a decade.

Pray that he gets to see his 11-year-old daughter.

Divorced soon after she was born in 1994, Vasquez said he has spent the day meant to honor fathers just twice with his only child.

"I don't have her this Father's Day because it's not my weekend," said Vasquez, a retired New York City detective who lives in Yonkers. "My ex won't give her to me. I don't even bother to ask."

Most fathers will spend today eating, laughing and playing with their children. But for many men in Westchester, Putnam and Rockland counties, today will be just another lonely day.

Many fathers, whether because of protracted custody battles, disagreements with spouses, what they call an unfair and biased court system, or their own mistakes, have little or no access to their children. Some haven't seen or spoken to their kids in years.

Even with an agreement from Family Court that gives him visitation every other weekend, Vasquez said, it isn't always certain he will get to see his daughter. He, like many men, says his ex-wife sometimes ignores the agreement and does not allow him to visit.

"The courts are so biased against fathers. I have to constantly fight to see my daughter," said Vasquez, 49, who has remarried and is seeking sole custody of his child. "They call everybody a deadbeat dad, but it's more like beat dad dead."

Thousands of men in New York are in a similar predicament, said Efrain Rodriguez Jr., a Mahopac resident and president of the Fathers Rights Association of New York State. His 3,000-member group, which advises parents on their legal rights, is pushing for more men to be awarded custody to avoid problems with visitation.

"It's frustrating and very sad," said Rodriguez, who is estranged from a 14-year-old daughter who lives with his ex-wife. He hasn't spoken to the girl in more than a year, but has a better relationship with his 16-year-old daughter. Still, he wasn't certain he would be with her today.

Rodriguez, 52, said the emotional toll on fathers denied visitation is high, with many experiencing depression. But the burden is worse for children.

"Children without fathers in their lives are more likely to suffer from social ills -- using drugs and committing crimes," said Rodriguez, a retired New York City police officer. "The public doesn't really know how bad it is. The guy next to you in the car, next to you on the train, next to you at work is probably going through the same thing."

Though most men claim to be fit parents, Rodriguez acknowledges that many fathers lose custody and visitation rights because of a history of violence or emotional abuse. Some can't see their kids because of orders of protection requiring them to stay away.

Still, he said, courts are clearly biased in favor of mothers. Census figures show that mothers usually get sole custody of children.

In 2002, the most recent year for which figures are available, there were 13.4 million custodial parents in the United States. Of those, 84 percent were women and 16 percent were men.

That same year, a census survey of child-support providers showed mothers had sole physical custody of children in nearly half of all cases. Fathers had sole physical custody in about 5 percent of cases, while joint or split custody occurred in 17 percent of cases, according to the report.

That disparity, Rodriguez said, has culminated in the modern fathers rights movement -- a nationwide collection of groups lobbying politicians to change child-support and custody laws. Noncustodial fathers also have begun telling their stories in an attempt to gain sympathy from a public that they say all too often sides with mothers.

Women's groups say it isn't often that men are unjustly denied access to their children. Gloria Jacobs, co-chairwoman of the New York chapter of the National Organization for Women's Domestic Relations Law Task Force, said it was highly unlikely that most women simply deny visitation. She said in those cases, some type of abuse is typically involved.

In terms of custody, Jacobs said, about 90 percent of divorce cases are settled out of court and both parties typically agree that the mother, often the primary caregiver for children, should have sole physical custody. In the small percentage of contested cases, men get custody more often than women, she said.

"I can't say it never happens, but we don't see a lot of discrimination against men (in court)," said Jacobs, who practiced matrimonial law for 25 years. "The primary caregiver is often the mother. If fathers want to change that, let them get more involved during the marriage."

Bill Gordon of Carmel said he spent most of last week trying to arrange to see his two daughters, ages 4 and 6, today. Though he and his wife have split custody 50/50 since ending their 10-year marriage in 2003, she has blocked his visits on occasion, he said.

"I've heard enough women complain that they can't even get the fathers involved," said Gordon, 39, a microscope repair specialist. "I just can't believe that I have to fight to get involved. I'm just trying to fight for my kids and to have a meaningful relationship with them."

Rodriguez said that's all he and most men want.

"It wears you down sometimes," said Rodriguez, who remarried and has a 9-year-old daughter with his current wife. "But my resolve is firm. I will be a part of my children's lives. They will know they have a daddy. They will never have to ask me, 'Where were you?' "
167
Main / So what is up with the trolls?
May 28, 2005, 07:46 PM
It seems we have gotten several trolls, all pretending to be MRAs but then being chauvanist pigs and illiterate to boot. Did our site get recent press which drew the extremists, or are the feminist extremists bored and decided to play new games?

Should we all ignore them or shoudl we try to engage them in debate?

I don't see much to work with here.
168
Main / Advantages of being men?
May 19, 2005, 06:02 AM
Someone sent this to me, actually a men's rights yahoo group member. It seems to me a list of half truths and choices, but do guys find this funny? I didn't.


1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work - more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the damn time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must
be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become
lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in 15 minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.
169
Main / 2005 men's conference
May 18, 2005, 05:14 PM
Does anyone have the date for the 2005 DC conference? Is there a web site for that? Thanks.
170
Main / 'Battered mother'? custody case
May 11, 2005, 01:23 PM
http://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/geniacasehistory.htm

Here are a few parts-

Quote
All the while the children were denied a meaningful relationship with their mother while the father could suppress the children's ability to express their feelings.   The trial itself was unbelievably one-sided.   The abuser was the only witness he presented to support his case.   Much of his testimony concerned the phone tapes he made.   He didn't realize that the tapes demonstrated his abuse.   He called his victim 15 and 20 times a day as late as 1 AM.   Even the court's evaluator who favored the father called the calls excessive and harassing.   The mother had 11 witnesses including five experts.   The experts included the son's therapist (who was not selected by the mother) and a therapist who treated both parties based on the judge's own order.   One of the witnesses was the school nurse who was also neutral but very concerned about the harm to the children of the judge's order.   She described the daughter before she was taken from her mother as skipping around school laughing and giggling while holding hands with a friend.   After she lost her mother she would walk around school alone, head down very sad.


Quote
While the appeal has been pending, the abuser and the court have sought to continue to harass and abuse Genia.   I had to make a motion to withdraw from the case in front of Judge Amodeo for medical reasons.   His abuse and threats were endangering my health (I had a heart attack several years ago).   He demanded medical proof and my medical doctor and therapist sent affidavits saying it was unsafe and unhealthy for me to continue given the particular circumstances in Amodeo's courtroom.   The law requires that when a party loses an attorney for medical reasons that she is entitled to at least a 30 day stay to obtain another attorney.   Instead Amodeo continued to make her come to court unrepresented to face more abuse.   After the 30 days had passed (with no stay) he decided that she had enough time to find an attorney.


Quote
On May 5, 2005 the mother was forced to again come to court without representation.   Judge Amodeo sought to issue a decision permitting the father to move the children to Texas even before the Appellate Division could rule on the appeal.   Genia sought to protect her right for an appeal by objecting.   She also mentioned that the judge was lying (which he was).   The judge treated this as if it was contempt and ordered the mother, seven months pregnant and with health complications, to jail.

           Judge Amodeo's abuse has had a disastrous affect not only on the Shockome family, but on all battered women.   Already we have heard that women and staying with their abusers and being beaten by them because that is safer than having the abuser and judge abuse her like they did to Genia.   Domestic violence advocates have to warn women in Dutchess County that it may not be safe to seek an Order of Protection.  


I wonder about this. My expirience tells me that this is not a norm, but could it be that there are judges who are just as biased against women?

This sounds fishy in some ways, like the lawyer pulling out then claiming the judge gave her no time to find a new one, it sounds like a ploy to buy more time. There was no proof that any abuse happened that I could see, although they claim there was.  No real evidence of abuse was presented in the so called full report.

Also, there was never any reason given for why the father was given sole custody in the first place. I have not ever seen that happen without really good reason.

What I do worry about is that it is assumed that because she SAYS he was abusive he should lose everything, and that this case alone makes a crisis, a rallying cry for women  to get more custody. They already get custody 80% of the time now. What else can they want?

If indeed the case went as presented, then it sounds like the courts are low for everyone, depending on where you are. It makes it even more clear that the family court system is broken and in need of an overhaul. I just hate to see this used as proof against father's rights.
171
Main / homeschooling
May 03, 2005, 06:22 AM
I bitched about the math tests and the cramming we are having to do  last week. A couple of people gave me some great ideas, and I just wanted to thank you. We started Tom on programming, and he LOVES it. Dave found some great online programs, and he spend quite a bit of time doing them.

Also since instead of just giving me sympathy, you actually problem solved, it got me into that mode as well. We started a D&D game, and all the puzzles are math problems. He really loves it.

SO, thank you!  We are having a much better time now.
172
Main / For NYMOM, Trish, and others.
Apr 17, 2005, 09:56 AM
Since I know you are reading here, and you have so maturely banned me for being polite, I will post my last reply here.


********
Um, if you know about all the workings at Standyourground, then isn't telling me I spend too much time on the computer the pot calling the kettle black?

I was not biased at all. I asked for equal rights.

I never even brought into the discussion that men should have any say in whether a woman carries the baby to term. I brought into discussion that after the child is born, the woman chooses what will happen and what role the man will have. Once that baby is out, there is no reason for the man to have any less choices than the woman. To say there is is to be biased. A man can feed, change, hold, and love a child just as well as a woman, and a woman is just as capable of neglect or harm than a man is. Even playing field once the baby is born. Biology does not play any part.


"Well, because I see women as having more rights and less responsibilities. One example is reproductive rights. Women can apon becoming pregnant, without consulting the man, abort or carry to term."

"You're wrong. This is why I'm not wasting my time on you any further. Plain and simple. I don't waste my time on bigoted, biased people who spout this bullshit."

The really funny thing is that I am not wrong. Men have no say in this. The only thing then that I can see you think I am wrong about is that it is unfair. So you feel that the current system is perfectly fair? Well, why didn't you say that? Telling me I am wrong for simply describing the current system is pretty funny. So I am wrong for telling the truth?

Your personal attacks on me instead of addressing my ideas tell me you have nothing of any intellegence to add.

This place (Trish's blog)  is a lot like a normal chicken pen. You walk in and they all start shrieking and squawking not even noticing that you have put food down. They panic and run about because they haven't bothered to actually see what is going on. They are purely reacting, not thinking.

It is funny, if you raise chickens to pay attention and be calm, like mine, when you walk in they all run up to you to see what you have. They think, not just blindly react. Sort of like SYG.

I am sorry I disturbed your peace. I will shut the barn door now. I was given the impression on SYG that you actually had something to say. I can see that I was wrong. You are welcome to drop by SYG if you ever are interested in having a real discussion, minus the insults and panic.
173
Main / Mommy Test
Apr 16, 2005, 06:53 AM
This just set my blood to boil. My sister in law sent it to me, so I don't know what if anything I should say in responce. But good friggin grief.


THE MOMMY TEST
>
> I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something
> off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item
away
> from her and I asked her not to do that.
>
> "Why?" my daughter asked.
> "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been,
it's
> dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
> At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and
asked,
> "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
> "Uh," ....I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on
the
> Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
>
> We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
> pondering this new information.
> "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have
to
> be the daddy."
> "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my
> heart.
>
> When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom.
>
174
Main / Chickens
Apr 13, 2005, 01:57 PM
Ok, this is totally off topic, but I thought we could all use a laugh. I finally named my chickens. I have three Polish hens (black with a big shock of white feathers on their heads), a black banty hen and a black banty rooster.

The two big polish are named Einstien and Don King.

The baby polish we named Beene.  :D She is the bravest little thing, always off exploring and getting into trouble, also finding the best basking spots high up where the others won't go.

The female banty is named Harriet Tubman (my son picked that)

And the Banty rooster is named Gonzo  

Just seemed fitting. :twisted:

Gonzo is pampered as youngest son has taken quite the fancy to him! He also is the first to run up and peck your fingers if he thinks you have something good for him, the little shit.


Boy, I can't wait for the next batch!
175
Main / A huge thanks to DrE and company
Apr 08, 2005, 06:33 AM
I just wanted to thank you all for doing such an awesome job of running this board.

I have been on another board, a woman's only board, for 4 months now. WIthin two weeks they made me moderator of two forums. Well, until yesterday I did nothing as moderator, I let things go and just participated. Well, yesterday a woman uncalled for and visciously personally attacked another poster. I stepped in and said if it happened again I would close the thread. I get a note from Krusty, the husband of the owner and moderator overall, that he put her up to it and that everyone slammed this woman, it was ok.

Well, to me it was not ok. Why am I moderator if I cannot moderate, and if there are no rules to moderate. So I stepped down, and wrote a post saying that much. I didn't want my name attatched to that sort of crap.

Well, I am completey kicked out of the entire board (which I am OK with) I also get a nasty little note from Krusty titled "Too big for ya britches"
(How juvanile and on a power trip can you get?)

SO I just want to thank you guys for NOT being like that. I love how this board runs, I like how we get warnings if things get too heated, and how you really try not to ban people unless absolutely necessary. I like that a certain amount of order is enforced, yet freedom of speech is respected.

Sometimes a bad expirience makes you appreciate the good.

Jen
176
Main / Women in war
Mar 29, 2005, 10:37 AM
I wish feminists would make up thier mind. First they bitch because they face military draft, claiming that women don't start wars, men do, and that women are not violent, men are. Then I find this..


www.gendergap.com/military/warriors.htm

Where sites for women in the military throughout history have been as both defensive and offensive as men, and they are proud of it. So which is it?
177
http://www.now.org/nnt/03-97/father.html

"Father's Rights" Groups: Beware Their Real Agenda

by Gloria Woods, President, Michigan NOW

"Shared Parental Responsibility." In our work as women's advocates, how often have we
heard custodial moms wish that their children's father would share the parental
responsibility? Unfortunately, "shared parental responsibility" is the new doublespeak for
joint physical custody by so-called "father's rights" groups.

For example, in Michigan proposed legislation supported by these groups would impose joint
custody on parents who are in conflict over custody. Most studies report that joint
custody works best when both parents want it and agree to work together.

The Michigan legislation states that in a custody dispute the judge must presume that
joint custody is in the "best interests of the child" and "should be ordered." To make any
other decision, a judge must make findings why joint custody is not in the children's
"best interest." This is a high legal standard that makes it very difficult for judges to
award any other custody arrangement. It is also a departure from the generally accepted
standards determining what's in the best interest of the child.

Michigan NOW opposes forced joint custody for many reasons: it is unworkable for
uncooperative parents; it is dangerous for women and their children who are trying to
leave or have left violent husbands/fathers; it ignores the diverse, complicated needs of
divorced families; and it is likely to have serious, unintended consequences on child
support.

Forced joint custody is also a top legislative priority of fringe fathers' rights groups
nationwide. These groups argue that courts are biased and sole custody awards to mothers
deny fathers their right to parent. They allege that, in most cases, mothers are awarded
sole custody, with fathers granted visitation rights. The men cite this as proof of bias
against fathers.

The truth is that in 90 percent of custody decisions it is mutually agreed that the mother
would be sole custodian. According to several studies, when there is a custody dispute,
fathers win custody in the majority of disputed cases.

The legislature's determination to impose joint custody on parents in conflict is a
frightening proposition for many women and places them and their children in harm's way.

There is documented proof that forced joint custody hurts children. "In the majority of
cases in which there's no desire to cooperate, joint custody creates a battleground on
which to carry on the fight," one researcher reported in the legal magazine, The Los
Angeles Daily Journal (December 1988).

In "Ongoing Postdivorce Conflict: Effects on Children of Joint Custody and Frequent
Access," Janet Johnson and her colleagues compared children in court-ordered joint custody
with children in sole-custody homes. In both situations, the parents were in "entrenched
conflict."  This study showed that under these circumstances frequent shuttling between
both parents in joint custody "is linked to more troubled emotional problems" in children
than the sole-custody arrangement.

Imposed joint custody is particularly dangerous to battered women and their children. As
the director of the Michigan Domestic Violence and Treatment Board said in her testimony
opposing this bill, "...the exchange of children during visitation can be the most
dangerous time for the [domestic violence survivor] and her children."

"My experience with presumptive joint custody as a domestic relations lawyer in Louisiana
was almost uniformly negative," said NOW Executive Vice President Kim Gandy. "It creates
an unparalleled opportunity for belligerent former spouses to carry on their personal
agendas or vendettas through the children -- and with the blessing of the courts.

"Attorneys often referred to it jokingly as the `lawyer protection act' because repeated
trips to court over minor issues kept the fees rolling in, and the mothers were more
likely to suffer," Gandy said.

Joining Michigan NOW in opposing this legislation are: antiviolence/ women's shelter
groups, the bar association, child psychologists, social workers, family law experts,
judges, lawyers, and even the Family Forum (a right-wing, "traditional family values"
group).

You can check out the supporters of this bill and become familiar with the groups' real
agenda by logging on to the Internet using any search engine such as Yahoo to search for
"fathers' rights," or connect to: http://www.speakeasy.org/fathersrights/ or
http://web2.airmail.net/fathers4 to learn more about their activities.

Further information on forced joint custody, including a list of studies and reports on
its dangers, is available from the NOW Foundation at 202-331-0066.
178
Main / I love chickens Eddie
Mar 05, 2005, 08:29 PM
Ok, this has nothing to do with the men's movement what so ever, but I am very excited, so I will blab about it cause that is what we women do.
*sorry~most of us women :D *

I have been thinking about getting chickens all winter. Well, today I was at a family party, FIL B-day, and I brought up that I wanted chickens. Well, all the aunts present flock around and we start getting to the nitty gritty. We head over to Aunt Peg's, and lo and behold she has 5 chicks, 3 White Headed Black Polish and two black bantems. SHe says-you can have them if you want.  :)

So I go back and ask Dave, who gives the green light.  :D

So now I am the proud owner of a little flock of chicks. They are so cute! The Polish are the ones with the foofy crown of feathers on their heads.

They make the coolest little noises, and seem to like the old guinea pig cage. I will now have to speed up the preparations to the barn to get it ready when they get bigger.

So now, Typhon, I am officially a homesteader!  In a few months I should be getting eggs, although my luck I have 5 roosters! BBQ anyone?

Thanks for letting me go on.....

The Chicken and Biscuit Queen
179
http://www.10tv.com/Global/story.asp?S=2997111



WBNS 10TV  - Colombus,OH,USA



Gay Mom Fights Child Visitation For Ex    





Ohio's recently-passed Issue One is being used as part of an argument in a lesbian couple's battle for shared custody of a child.


The new law clarifies the state's definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman, and restricts other relationships from receiving the same legal considerations that a marriage does.



Denise Fairchild says she thought she was doing the right thing for her son when she signed a shared parenting agreement with her partner, Therese.



"The contract was actually designed to, if she needed, to give my son medical attention so when I was absent she could do that," Fairchild says.



Under Ohio law, only the parent can authorize medical treatment for a child. So Denise and her partner agreed to sign a shared parent agreement.



It gave Fairchild's partner some of the same legal rights as Fairchild herself -- the child's biological mother.



At the time of signing the contract in 2001, Fairchild says the contract was not enforceable in the state of Ohio. But her attorney got a judge to sign the order without a hearing.



A year later, the law changed making the orders enforceable.



Then in 2004, voters passed Issue One, which further defined the legal standing of unmarried couples.



Suddenly, couples began to wonder whether it makes shared-parent agreements among unmarried couples invalid.



"It specifically prohibited that the court recognize any rights of marriage to people who aren't married. So it's invalid. That's what we argued," Fairchild's attorney, Keith Golden says.



Fairchild is now asking a judge to have her shared parent agreement voided to keep her former partner from seeing the child in question. But the other woman is fighting the move.



By suing to end her ex-lover's right to visitation, the gay mom is essentially going against what the gay community fought when it protested passage of Issue One.



"If I have to go against the gay community, then I have to go against the gay community. But I have to do what's best for my son," argues Fairchild.



On Monday(2/28), Denise Fairchild and Therese Fairchild are expected in juvenile court to argue the details over their shared parenting agreement.
180
Main / a conversation this weekend
Feb 21, 2005, 02:08 PM
I visited some friends of mine this weekend, with my bull terrier and another friend and her BT. We made a qualifying run at the agility trial which means if we do two more we will have a title for Tallulah, my Bullie. It was awesome!

Anyways, the couple I stayed with have been married for over 20 years. They are mean to each other.  The constantly argue and insult each other, which is very upsetting for me, and Allison  says things about men all the time. Men are so stupid, men are so rediculous, men are so pathetic. I tried using my own marraige as an example, by saying, "When Dave does this, we handle it like that" but it goes right over her head. Finally when we were sitting at breackfast she says "men are so inferior". I said "I don't think so. Men are not inferior"

"Yes they are"
So you think my boys are inferor?" (She loves my kids)
"Well they are not men yet"
" SO when they grow up they will be inferior?"
"Well you have a chance to mold them, to make them not be inferior"
"I don't need to mold them, I hope they turn out to be just like the men I know, there is nothing wrong with being a man"
Interupt by the eggs coming.

When Allison gets up to get more food, Kathy, my friend I drove with, tells me to talk to Scott about mens activism. He asks what it is, and I tell him. He says "I have never felt discriminated against." Allison comes back and asks what we are talking about, and Scott tells her. She says
"Oh please, he is a man, he is white, how the hell can he be discrimiated against. We still need to fight for women's rights!"
I try to ignore the curly hair in my food and choke down runny eggs and dry biscuits.

Later in the car.
"Men are this men are that." My friend Kathy says "Aren't you going to defend them?"
I said "I am not even going there. If she wants to hate men let her, I am not going to talk her out of it. " (I am hungry and slightly nausious and can't sop thinking of curly hair)
So Allison says, "What is it you like about men so much?"
I said "Men are honest. You see what you get. If they like something they do it, if they like someone they like someone, no apologies. If they think something is right or wrong, it is right or wrong, not sometimes OK because they feel like it. They are straight forward.
"They are simple" she says.
I said " Not at all. There is nothing simple about my husband. They are honest. They don't try to manipulate all the time. That is why I usually hang out with men."

SHe says "I can buy that"

Allison is one of the most manipulating women I have ever met.

I like these people because of their love of Bull Terriers, but as I get to know them I am finding myself not wanting to be around them. I hate hearing her spew sexist remarks constantly yet claim men are oppressive. She is so hypocritical. Does anyone know some good one liners which will work for some of these comments? I should have asked her "What rights?"  WHen she mentioned women's rights. The right to be a bitch apparently.

That she can claim men cannot be discriminated against right after she claimed men are inferior in front of and without comment of her husband just blows me away. I don't know how I can be around these people, and I really need to maintain this relationship for . Allison gets hungry and just rips into everyone, she has no concept of self control at all. Relative morality is newly defined after speaking to her for a day. I am so glad I can come here and people are rational. They also really make me miss my husband! I can't wait until he gets home ;-)