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Messages - hurkle

61
Main / crack, poor taste and criminal bias
Oct 29, 2005, 01:39 AM
The really interesting part of the article is that the woman was given the chance to plead for seven months probation, while the man was given the chance to plead for 5 years in prison.

And I hate crack. That and meth. Life-stealers. Family-breakers. Kid-killers.

Hate 'em. Hate 'em.
62
Main / *OFF TOPIC* Music.
Oct 29, 2005, 01:32 AM
Cake RooLz!!!

Also some good stuff from my current playlist that doesn't get a lot of mainstream play:

Early Man - great rock, a 21st century take on Black Sabbath, classic Metallica, and others. The album just rocks hard.

Yerba Buena - okay, they won a Grammy or whatever it was. But they have some great latin grooves that you will find yourself singing, even if you can't speak spanish. Not so unknown. Sorry.

Steeleye Span - Still fresh after all these years. Below The Salt and All Around My Hat are just great...

2 Skinnee J's - think of Limp Bizkit, but done right.

Old Crow Medicine Show - classic bluegrass; hard to believe that most of their songs are originals. Great stuff

Jolie Holland and/or Be Good Tanyas - oh man, good stuff. Especially when she starts moaning about how that morphine was good enough for her grandfather so its good enough for her.

Chromeo - you know, you wouldn't listen to it if I told you what it was like. Just trust that this pop confection is so disco-retro but still modern that it was this summer's perfect soundtrack. Kind of like Junior/Senior last year.

BT - great dance/rave music from an experienced producer. It's kind of like you've heard all these songs before... somewhere... sometime...

Fanfare Ciocarla - Rumanian brass band with a hint of gypsy and klesmer... fantastic.

Testify - industrial metal that is just damn nice to hear.

They Might Be Giants - "No" is the perfect album to sing with your child. Oh my god, it is good. Brilliant work. Seriously. I'll burn it and send it to you if you have a 5-10 year-old. It's that good. Just let me know.

Ralph's World - more family-friendly music from a singer/songwriter. Brilliant stuff and miles away from anything being produced for kids these days.

Boy Hits Car - prog-rock. Good.

Radio 4 - just like old Clash. Mmmm.

Ladytron - leaders in the electronica movement. Great stuff, if slightly depressing.

TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun is like nothing I have ever heard before. How often can you say that about a new band? If you haven't heard this song yet, you are doing yourself a disservice. It gave me chills.

Other goodness: Matisyahu (torah-based dancehall rapping), Meg Lee Chin (eerie industrial lady), The Pharoahs (70s chicago funk), Jane Jensen (modern post-rock stuff), Kinky (mexican dance), Los Fabulosos Cadillacs (mexican ska), Lemon Jelly (trance/house goodness), and of course,

MC Paul Barman, whose raps are just as fluid as Eminem's but with the with that many of us love in our music. Witness the start of the lyrics to "N.O.W.":

Girls, this is a free chartered bus to the protest...
Okay, I want to see everybody representing their own interests for once.

Men you should care about reproductive rights, too.
Do you really want to send us to switzerland every time you don't wear a condom?

Are you for eighty-sixing justice?
If so, then get on the bus.
Yes move it let's foam it
Discord in the district of corruptia
Here are your vital signs, it's up to ya
To keep tight our laws
Impact, intact, no jest
And whichever man has the balls
to come to the pro-choice protest is gonna get
... some sex

What do we want?
TO GET LAID
When do we want it?
N.O.W!
[x4]

Her name was Genevieve
She had a whole head - a sieve
That said "who cares what men achieve?".
Under her arm?
"America's Wrong"
by Erica Jong.

[ the rest of the lyrics NSFW ;-) ]
63
Main / Women should not be leaders
Oct 28, 2005, 10:00 AM
Quote from: "Mentallica"
Women need to leave the workplace.  Sure, some pseudo cause is being advanced by promoting women into the business and political world.  But at what freaking cost?


Interesting point. I mean, it's clear that by adding women to the work force, the supply of available workers doubled, thus halving salaries across the board. Simple economics.

But what is the pseudo cause you speak of? What are the costs you speak of?
64
Main / Why do men get married?
Oct 28, 2005, 09:49 AM
NobleTry,

That was a great post. I especially enjoyed your discussion of how you are not bitter, because I am working very hard on trying to get rid of my own. I've got full custody, no CS, and an ex who is an alcoholic meth-addict, now ex-felon and who is back in jail. And to be honest, had she not gone to jail the first time, it wouldn't have mattered how much proof I had of the alcohol and drugs, I would have been an 8-day-a-month dad, just like the normal, paying CS through my nose.

God, I'm glad I am the custodial parent and my girl is finally getting somewhat of a normal life.

Bitterness... I have a hard time letting go of it.
65
Main / Androphobia: The fear of men
Oct 28, 2005, 09:40 AM
Quote from: "lkanneg"
I'd be willing to pop in with a claim that women fearing men is at an all-time historic low in our current society.


You have got to be kidding.

Everywhere you look, men are identified as molesters, abusers, and criminals. There are very few bad "women" in movies and on TV, and when there are, typically they are in thrall to a man who bears the ultimate responsibility.

During divorce, men are advised to stop sleeping with their children in the same bed. Why? Because they are too likely to be identified as a molester. Women alone will cast fearful glances at men who near them on the street.

All the talk about women needing their own workout facilities, schools, etc. is because they need a safe space. Safe from what? Well, it's obviously not other women who make them feel unsafe.

There is no way fear of men is at an all-time low. I have no idea if it is at a peak, but good god! Men are the scary sex in the world today. Well, except to those of us in the know ;-)
66
Main / Why do men get married?
Oct 27, 2005, 03:19 PM
Although I have a vestigial learned response - a desire to get married, because that's what you do when you are in love, I can't actually imagine actually doing it again.

I got married because I thought when you are in love, you cement that bond with promises to God, yourself, and your spouse. Then, because you are an honorable person, you don't break those promises. Also, a marriage (that doesn't fail) is the best way to bring up children.

There is no advantage to marrying anymore. No-fault divorce began the slow murder of it, and female-centric and female-friendly family court policies have put the final nail in the coffin.

A woman has all the benefits from marrying, and a man has none. He isn't guaranteed that he will not be cuckolded. As recent polls show, just as many women as men cheat on their partners (and they are all losers, men and women both, IMHO). Even if there are no children, he will usually be saddled with the legal fees if they divorce, and if he had money and property coming in to the marriage, even if there is a pre-nup, it is most likely she will end up with some of it, because by marrying her he gave her raised expectations of a lifestyle that the courts have decided should continue, even if the marriage doesn't.

Which is some kind of damaged shit, if you think about it.

I don't think any man should get married, even to the nicest woman, because when the it comes down to it, even the nicest people can have a lapse during their anger and pain at the relationship ending, and it is here that women have all the power to destroy the man, during the end of the marriage.

I think marriage, no actually, divorce, needs a complete overhaul. I think if you want to have no-fault divorce, then the person who wants it, can have it, but they leave the marriage with NOTHING. Nothing at all, including no rights to the children. Want to end the marriage for no reason? Okay, but you lose everything. And you get no vaginamony. Still want to? Thought not. This protects marriage, while in the case where there was provable abuse (not just allegations), then custody could be changed at that time.

No child support. If the marriage isn't there, the child isn't entitled to the same lifestyle. Because that lifestyle doesn't exist anymore. And only the lowest parent would refuse to buy their child clothes or books and the like. And in this case, that's what a social safety net is for, the real problem cases.

Oh, I could go on and on. But you're right. There's no reason, as it stands now, for a male to ever enter into marriage.

We just have to warn the young ones of what MIGHT happen.

It's not guaranteed of course. But like with any risk, you need to know about it in order to protect yourself against it.
67
Main / Re: Women and Drugs
Oct 27, 2005, 02:39 PM
Quote from: "zarby"
I have never been part of the drug culture. I admit I speak from ignorance. I will rarely even take aspirin.

I do have some exposure through my observations in various contexts.

I am near certain that my wife got involved in drugs and that a large
part to do with her affair and my divorce. Her boyfriend was a druggie.

It seems to me that drug use is becoming a "woman problem." By this,
it seems to me that women are more into drugs than men. I include
both legal and illegal drugs. It seems women are more likely to be
on legal psyco active drugs (Paxel, Zoloft, etc.) than men.

I know this is a huge generalization. I would like to hear any comments.

Another observation is that men who are into drugs have lots of women. In other words, drugs are a huge entisement for women. If a man is into drugs, he has lots of women. It does not matter whether he has looks, money, charm, or anything else. All he needs is drugs.


Zarby,

a large part of my divorce was based in my ex doing meth, and living the accompanying lifestyle.

I agree with your stereotype, that women are more likely to be on legal drugs (aside from the ADHD overmedication of our male children), and from what I have seen, women are more likely to be on meth too.

I don't know why so many women are into meth, but I have seen that one man can have a whole bevy of women around him who only want his drugs. Think of the stereotypical coke whore, willing to trade her sexual power for drugs. The temporary high is that compelling to them.

Now, I think that perhaps it has to do with the male-female relationship as well. A man with drugs is an alpha to women who want what he has, just as a rich or powerful man is an alpha to women who desire money and power.

But a woman who has drugs is not going to be sought out as an alpha male, but instead can pick and choose the one or two men she wants until she changes them for another. I think it is a male "thing" to want the harem. So men who have drugs have lots of addicted skanks as a floating harem, but women who have drugs are more private about their companions (that is if they aren't the prototypical bisexual meth skank, with their own harem).

Another thing is that meth supposedly causes great sexual intensity for very long periods. Throw this into the mix of men who are past their sexual peak, and women who are hitting theirs, and you have a bunch of single mothers (or soon to be single mothers) who are going wacko for the shit, because it feeds an already-burning fire inside their loins.
68
Main / Lack of feminists on this site
Oct 27, 2005, 02:28 PM
Quote from: "devia"
My question would be not why more feminists come here but why such a number (certainly not all MRA's) go there. "Looking for an arguement" seems to me to be the ovious answer.


Men - even MRAs - still believe, deep down, that people can respond to logical, rational thought, and are capable of embracing new ideas if their old ones are shown to be false.

I don't think it works for most people though, but there may be that one person...

Plus a healthy dose of rage does wonders for the motivation occasionally.
69
Main / False allegation effect
Oct 27, 2005, 02:24 PM
Quote from: "lkanneg"
...sexual harrassment laws are a very good thing...(


For whom?

I did a lot of research on this last year, and the upshot was: if a person "feels" harassed, they have been.

This type of wishy-washy feeling-based rule is exactly what causes judges to hand out restraining orders to crying women like kleenex in the family courts. There is no burden of proof other than the (usually) woman's say-so. Just like false accusations of molestation and abuse.

I don't think anyone should be sexually harassed, but perhaps the implementation of the law is unfair and a bad idea?

At the minimum, false accusers in all these situations should be punished - seriously punished.
70
Main / About strong women
Oct 27, 2005, 02:13 PM
I know I'm late to the party, but I wanted to add my two cents regarding "strong" women.

As LK defined strong women, they were independent and resourceful and basically, very modern and in actuality, embodying traditional masculine traits... i.e., the opposite of feminine.

In my opinion, heterosexual and traditional men are not attracted to masculine traits, and therefore find these "strong" women to be frustrating, in much the manner that a puzzle may be frustrating... what is the missing piece here?

And since these strong women would never consider embracing traditional feminine traits, since that would make them "weak", they tend to have relationships with men who are less masculine, who are more attracted to the masculine traits these women display, and who are willing to submit to the control that the modern women considers to be a show of strength instead of neurosis.
71
Main / Not a good woman!
Oct 25, 2005, 12:59 PM
I'm very proud of the daughter for standing up and telling the truth. Guess the mother hadn't had time for PAS yet.
72
I like Sir Percy's answer.

My simpler answer is, if I ever find a woman deserving of being treated in a chivalric manner, I will do so. Until then, they get the short end of the equality stick.

I love the anecdote about the 14-year-old who wouldn't get up.

I will get up for older people, male or female. But not for healthy women.
73
Main / Toxic relationship.
Oct 20, 2005, 12:08 PM
As a survivor of a female abuser in my own (now thankfully ended) marriage, all I can say is:

She *will* survive without you.

There is only ONE reason to stay in the relationship, and that is if you have children. And if she *is* abusive, then that is a reason to take the children and leave.

Yes you will feel guilt. Yes you will feel pain and embarrassment. Yes you will doubt yourself.

But the fact of the matter is that you are not responsible for her behaviour or her attitude. Now - you are married, IIRC - you did promise to protect/take care of her. However, that doesn't mean you can't have a life of your own even if you choose to stay in the marriage.

As far as therapy goes, forget marriage counseling. Get yourself into personal counseling and it will help get your head straight.

Of course, it will only tell you what is already in your heart that you are refusing to listen to, anyway.

Best of luck...

You may also find some help at:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/batteredhusbandssupport/

I did.
74
Main / Zen Priest
Oct 19, 2005, 02:37 PM
Devia has a couple logical problems that became apparent in this thread. I don't mean this to be insulting, but some may view it as such.

(1) Values anecdotal evidence over research. "My friend never had it happen to anyone he knew, therefore it never happens."

(2) Completely unaware of the power she holds as a woman in today's family courts, and not willing to become aware of and acknowledge it.

(3) Makes the general personal, and thus deniable. For instance, when pointed out that most probably her ex-husband only has custody because she chose not to fight him for it, she responded defensively that we know nothing about her situation. Yet she does not explain what is different, only lets us know that she denies the allegation. What makes it different from the millions of other divorces out there where the woman had all the power?

Just because one chooses not to exercise power does not mean that power is nonexistent.

The only reason I have custody of my daughter is because my ex-wife went to prison for assault. Prior to that occasion, I was unable to see my child for months, and all the proven drug use/assault/drinking/PAS/neglect made not a whit of difference to the court system. It was only once she was physically UNABLE to take custody  of our daughter that I was able to do so.
75
Main / Feminism and Anti-Feminism circa 1912
Oct 11, 2005, 04:46 PM
Quote from: "SecondToDie"
I read all of those articles and was pretty disgusted.  These NOW women don't seem to understand basic biology and gender dimorphism or else they would realize that the reason why there are few women firefighters is because few women have the strenght necessary to pass many of the physical tests required in order to become a firefighter.  I'm pretty sure that in NYC firefighters must be able to drag a 300 pound dummy across a room, something that most women can't do.


Which is why so many of our fire departments, police departments, and military are lowering their phsyical standards. I mean, it would obviously be sexist to have two sets of standards - one per gender. That would be outright stating that men were - on the average - bigger, stronger, and faster than women. And as we all know, that ain't allowed. It's a thoughtcrime. So instead, we just lower the standards for everyone! Whee! We're all equal! Yay!