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Messages - realman
16
How about wives plan and pay for their OWN retirement/widowhood? How about if you die first, which you probably will, what she gets from you is "extra"... not what she's planned for the past 70 years to live on?
Gee.
I'm still waiting for the day when women and men die at the same average age, and women are paying for their own retirements and widowhoods. Cause until then, "equality" is just a word.
17
It was discussed, I just meant that in the first introduction of the word "value", clarification of "whose definition of value" would have stregthened the reader's early understanding of the writer's argument.
18
Well since enveryone seems to read and not leave comments, let me be the first to say "sweet"!
19
"she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself."
My biggest disagreement with this is I'd change the able to read "she only cares about the VALUE -OTHERS- assign to the life he has constructed around himself." Whether "other" is she herself, or "other women", either way the point is that his life may have PLENTY of value, to himself or to others, but she likely and most other women won't see it unless it can be measured by a small handful of particular "standards".
20
How about 13> Men don't open up to women because they've learned throughout life that most women don't care about men's "feelings", while many women have leanred throughout life that their feelings are :more important" than a man's feelings, and many women don't even acknowledge that men have "feelings", and when a man does share his "feelings" many women can't handle it.
So even if he's lucky enough enough to be with a woman who really cares about his feelings, he may not be able to believe it...
or perhaps 14> He doesn't share his feelings because YOU'RE not really interested... it just scares you to not know what HIS feelings about YOU are?
21
My initial reactions were
1.) gee, is it surpirsing that women with "feminist" husbands/partners would say they have "better" relationships than they would have with men who didn't put them on a pedestal and satisfy their every whim, beck, and call?
2.) I love how "feminist" and "egalitarian" are used interchangeablly when they couldn't be farther from opposites.
3.) I wonder if the statement about men saying they were more satisfied in relationships with "feminist" women was really talking about "feminist" (i.e., women great, men BAD) women, or "egalitarian" women (women and men both have their pros and cons; there's no reason women shouldn't have real careers and make real money doing real jobs, and there's no reason men should be held responsible for women's actions). Of course, further muddying the waters is the fact that a "feminist" male would probably want to be with a "feminist" woman, because if he wasn't with a feminist woman he wouldn't be able to put her on above said pedestal or be responsible for the previously-mentioned satisfaction of her every whim, beck, and call- it would probably be pure Hell for a "feminist" man to be in a relationship with an "egalitarian" woman, because she wouldn't let him be the p-whipped glob of jello he would want to be.
22
Just to couch this in realistic terms, I never knew men could be raped or that women abused their male partners until sometime in college. SO, from the time I was conscious to such things until I was bout 20 years old, I never once thought of DV as anything but "men beating up or raping women."
I'm jsut posting this to reaffirjm what a big problem and gross misrepresentation of DV is out there. Especially considering, even as one of the relatively few men (although the numbers are increasing)who ever "get" it, I was still about halfway through college before I even had reason to "question" the ways DV, (or the wage gap, or "sexism", or anythiing else) were portrayed.
Put another way, a lot of men need a lot of help to see beyond the lies that women, society, shcools, the government, the media, etc. have pounded into them since birth. I know plenty of highly intelligent men who are still completely ignorant when it comes to women and "women's issues."
23
Apparently I deleted it along with all the other
I get.
24
Yeah, um, like lactating as a result of a pregnancy that has been known about for quite some time is an "unexpected" thing?
So, instead of scheduling her exam for a reasonable time, like a man (or any othe reasonable person, regardless of gender) who's known for 6 months that he would be undergoing a major surgery a week before his secheduled exam would do, she expects to get special privileges in the taking of the exam because she can't paln ahead?
Where was it I read just a few days ago the senntiment that in today's feminist-mindest society, the mindset is if a fly shits on the tracks, the train has to stop???
God forbid women had to make CHOICES, and not be able to have it all every time!
25
So why isn't it that men aren't writing this sort of thing for WOMEN???
Geez.
26
"The shift is playing out in new, unanticipated ways on the dating front. Women are encountering forms of hostility they weren't prepared to meet, and are trying to figure out how to balance pride in their accomplishments against their perceived need to bolster the egos of the men they date."
And even now, it has to be couched in language that makes it a "women's issue"... now we hear about how "tough women have it" now that they make more than men. It never ends, women are always the vitims, always between the rock and teh hard place... regardless of where they are.
27
The first thing that comes to mind is, would the courts issue an order so a man could go to the hospital and have sex with his vegetative wife? Or fiancee, in this case?
28
I've long held that it's more a matter of "take commitment seriously" than "are afraid of commitment".
Whereas for many women, it is "unafraid of commitment" because commitment is a one-way street.
29
My first thought upon reading this was simply that, yah, of course these men are going to say they want to DATE the hot women even if they don't seem to ( based on a brief cursory introductpry meeting) meet the other "standards" or "criteria". DUH. What do they have to lose by saying tehy'd like the opportuinty to find out more about her suitability as a partner? At worst they'll spend a very boring evening with a hot girl and maybe get something physical out of it.
I guess what I;m saying is, the fact that the article only takes into account that men would want to DATE a woman, ONCE, based on her appearance; which is a very different statement than "men choose PARTNERS based mostly on physical appearance."
It's night and day, like the difference between renting a Ferrari for a fun day of Saturday driving even though it's totally impractical and not something you'd ever want to drive everyday because you've always been a truck kinda guy, versus going out and BUYING a Ferrari.
Is it really not obvious that DATING and HAVING A SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP are two different things? Are we really supposed to believe that women don't have plenty of "first and last" dates because they wanted to "test the waters" or "have a little fun" with someone they have no reason to believe is a good match long-term? SHeesh.
30
So the obvious solution is we need to find someone to work in the hard, stressful, long-hours jobs so more men can spend more time watching Oprah, eating bonbons, and reading novels.
