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Messages - Matt99
1
thankyou for the links, and thankyou for the replies.
I'd like to re-iterate that i'm not interested in creating a video that is anything but a collage of men's experiences. Whether positive of negative.
I'm simply wanting to raise awareness of the many men each year who become victims to DV and their differing experiences.
I'm slightly surprised no-one has been in touch. I was hoping this place would be a wealth of experiences.
Also: thankyou for the link to Venus. I will check it out a bit further.
2
I've not been on this forum since about 2006. Lots of my thoughts have changed since then, and lots have stayed the same.
I'm back because i really need some help with a project i want to do:
I want to create a short documentary that deals with male victims of domestic violence. I'm looking for men of all ages to share their own personal story that surrounds their domestic abuse. Needless to say, you can remain anonymous if you wish.
I'm looking for people willing to talk on camera with or without a hidden identity about any aspect of their experience.
There is no obligation, or pressure to talk about any abuse you may have suffered. I do not wish people to talk about anything that makes them uncomfortable. I want to capture men's interaction with support networks, other peoples attitudes towards you, how you felt, and your path to recovery.
I'm not a professional documentary maker. I'm an English lit student based in Sheffield in the UK who cares about putting men's issues forward. Filing will probably be done on a hand-held camcorder and be extremely informal.
I would love to hear from anyone who has a story relating to any aspect of their experience of domestic abuse.
I am based in Sheffield in the UK, and also in Chatham (Kent) in the UK. My funds are rather limited for traveling, so i would especially love to hear from people based in Yorkshire, or Kent, or London.
If you are interested, please PM me through the site.
Any help with this would be gratefully received,
Thanks
Matt
3
i haven't posted here in aaaaaaaaages, but i thought that article was hilarious.
How can any piece of journalism, that fails to mention any statisical data, and solely summarises it's supposed content into political spin, conclude with.....
"I just let the data speak for itself."
4
ok, im really annoyed with sheilas wheels and diamond, i hate them so much i could scream.
(it dosent take an idiot to work out that men are safer drivers when you compare accidents to miles driven in a veichle instead of just counting the number of accidents per gender)
I know that they have a right to conduct a business how they want to, but in a world where masculinity is being forced outside like a lone smoker, as a human i feel excluded and left out when companies start making clubs that exclude me on an entirely genetic level.
so on that note, heres a song by a cracking band called the Amateur Transplants.
http://www.amateurtransplants.com/click on the top song on the preview list.
ENJOI
5
Dan, why would the U.S government be attempting to stabalise Africa's population if they wanted to exploit it as a nation? surely we're already doing a pretty good job as it is.
and why would any government want to reduce population further in the US? when it's birthrate is already falling far below the replacement level.
i'm sorry... Mr X. Global warming in summer, and global cooling in winter?
insolation levels remain the same the whole year round, the heat equator moves a bit, thats all.
6
Dan, why would the U.S government be attempting to stabalise Africa's population if they wanted to exploit it as a nation? surely we're already doing a pretty good job as it is.
and why would any government want to reduce population further in the US? when it's birthrate is already falling far below the replacement level.
i'm sorry... Mr X. Global warming in summer, and global cooling in winter?
insolation levels remain the same the whole year round, the heat equator moves a bit, thats all.
7
don't forget heart disease. I was under the impression that it was the major cause of the difference in life expectancy between men and women. The fact that inherently, male and female hearts are different. Men's being stronger but weaker in old age, and women's being pretty much the same all the way to old age.
8
ultimately it dosen't matter who you are or what you've ever done. Life is still all nosebleeds, cornflakes, and busses
9
i thought that it was being ironic. Both women, it can be said, are victims of the patriarchy. the north american is "forced" to expose her body to the world, while the other cannot at all. One woman has attached herself to the ridgid male employment structure wheras the other has little career prospects because she dared to rebel.
in short, the entire spectrum of females can be considered oppressed
10
"From the boardroom
By SAIRA KHAN, Daily Mail 14:26pm 4th May 2006
Here last year's runner-up Saira Khan explains why The Apprentice finalists should use every trick in the book - including their sex...
Here's a word of advice to men on the dating scene. Forget corny chat-up lines. If you want to impress women, be prepared to talk productivity, profitability and performance.
The Old Boys network has withered on the vine, and these days the jobs are increasingly for the girls. So I'm not surprised to find the two finalists in TV's The Apprentice are female. We don't need Sir Alan Sugar to tell us that women rule the roost at home and in the workplace.
Saira Khan
Saira Khan: Women rule the boardroom
The facts are black and white - girls do better at school than boys; more women than men are getting degrees; and women are filling job vacancies far faster than men.
Small wonder, then, that according to The Economist - the bible of free market capitalism - women are becoming the most important factor in the global marketplace, not just as workers, but as consumers, entrepreneurs, managers and investors.
How have we become the Mistresses of the Universe? The simple truth is women are multi-taskers and work harder than men. This makes us far more productive and efficient.
Not only that, but women are in touch with their emotions, making us far better at people skills and therefore building the teams that are the bedrock of business success.
My mother
You don't need to be a captain of industry to see this. Take my mother as an example.
For more than ten years, she'd wake every day at 5am at our home in Long Eaton, Derbyshire, make sandwiches for four children and a husband, walk five miles to work in a factory, finish at 5.30pm, come home and cook dinner, clean, wash, iron, and go to bed at 10pm.
At weekends, she did the food shopping and caught up on the chores. Mum made all the key decisions about what we ate, wore and did.
Dad's routine, by contrast, was less hectic. He'd get up, drive to work, get back at 5.30pm, have his dinner served up, then head upstairs where he'd find his shirts ironed and the bed made. I don't think I ever saw him do the washing up.
I love my father to bits, and he certainly wasn't a chauvinist - his behaviour was typical of his generation. But even as a girl, I remember thinking: "Men have it so easy." And as I've grown up and entered the workplace, I've seen nothing to change that opinion.
Don't get me wrong. I am not a braburning feminist. I believe people should be rewarded on their merit and performance - gender should not even come into the equation.
But in reality, women know that while we may, indeed, work far harder than men, if we want to break through the glass ceiling we have to use a secret weapon: our seductive charms.
Michelle, one of the finalists in The Apprentice, is a great example of that. She charmed her way into the final by seducing three men in a shamelessly girly way, wrapping her core of steel in a kittenish exterior. Good on her, I say. Sometimes a girl just has to do what a girl has to do.
When I applied for The Apprentice, I took off my engagement ring and didn't mention I was planning a wedding. I wanted to be judged on my ability, not my personal life.
I didn't want Sir Alan to think: "Well, what's the point of giving her the job...she's 34, she's getting married and she'll want babies. She'll be a bad investment." No amount of sexual equality legislation will shift those preconceptions. And it's not just male bigotry. Female managers are just as bad - eyeing up potential recruits to see if their personal life will diminish their professional commitment.
Women work harder
The result? Women work harder to prove themselves. That's as true for the contestants in The Apprentice as it is in real life. And it works.
In our desperation to compete and to overcome barriers, we become the high achievers. Discrimination breeds determination. That's not to condone old-fashioned attitudes. I've never understood why assertive women are labelled aggressive, hard-nosed dragons, while tough men are called strong leaders and given a pat on the back.
And why is it that when a woman is promoted, the knee-jerk response of male colleagues is to wonder if she's sleeping with the boss?
Perhaps it's because those attitudes still prevail that increasing numbers of women are turning their backs on big business and setting up on their own as entrepreneurs.
They're not always household names (businessmen are far more interested in self-promotion) but goodness, they've worked hard for their success: women such as Christian Rucker of the White Company and Chey Garland, a former secretary who owns one of Britain's biggest call centre companies with a turnover of £28million a year.
I've thrived under a female boss. Women do things differently: they can be sacking an employee one minute and the next be putting their arm around your shoulder because your cat has died. Both situations require an intuitive understanding men simply aren't equipped with.
Many men might be feeling threatened by all this: women in the boardroom, women winning The Apprentice...how long before Sir Alan fires himself and a woman takes his place?
Don't panic, chaps. Take a look at our figures (not those ones, you Neanderthal). Statistics have shown the more women who succeed at work, the better it will be for the economy. And surely that's good news - whatever sex you are. "
there was a comments section at the bottom of this. the two comments on there already seemed pretty fair to me. i posted:
"frankly i am insulted and appauled that you feel as a man i don't possess an "intuitive understanding" of anything, and that you believe i am some sort of conspiring network of penises, that has somehow erected a glass ceiling against all of womankind.
More women do better in schools because the education system has undergone several changes to benefit underachieving girls in recent years, at the detrement to boys education. Its not like women are suddenly evolving and becoming smarter.
oh and thankyou for reffering to me as a "Neanderthal" this whitty comment made me laugh (I can understand humour slightly as a man), and helped me realise that your argument isn't about me being a poor useless monkey, and is actually highly rational and informed.
oh no wait..."
somehow i dont think it will be put on the site , if enough people post (with more rational opinions) im sure some will get through
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=385127&in_page_id=1879
11
constant companion to their life's journey
im sorry, that just sounds rediculous.
and i can say hand on heart that no story would ever make it even through a publishers if it was about lack of emotional response.
deeply held feelings and a struggle to overcome circumstances and passion.
now that can be appiled to any humans book. It seems this article is all about making men into sub-human, un- feeling creatures. The mens list is full of passion and feeling. I mean they are by no means the superior and contrived epic feelings involved in pride and predudice (you know, the one where the hunt for love is caused by economic problems, and finishes when they get money again).
its seems that wimmin just love books about other wimmin. Fight the power. not that its narrowminded or anything.
oh, and one more thing. How the hell did they find out that our wimmen liked "well thumbed paperbacks" what did they survey form look like?
do you prefer....
A) A Hard, Cold, Stiff backed novel (you know, like the one your dad used to hit you with)
B) A well thumbed paperback, plucked fresh from the fingertips of our favourite Bronte, or resident Austen. (Whose surnames when totalled up almost comprise of a quater of that list- not that its narrowminded or anything)
C) a regular paperback
12
i think that the real truth lies in the fact that when women get hitched they slacken their belts and eat the things that they would have liked to have eaten their whole lives, but were afraid that if they did they would never get laid.
with guys i think that being away from their buddies has taught then how to eat healthily (Booooooooo!!)
13
haven't posted on this site for a while, i've been lurking though.
Just thought i'd mention that International Women's Day is an excellent day to look at prospective universities if you are my age.
14
(edited because i made a stupidly obvious remark)
15
i got the impression that the girl was delibertely hanging off the branch to lure males in.
c'mon why else would she have given that kinda sexy look, and have been out strolling in the country without a horse AND in a wonderbra
