Messages

31

Main / A Brief History of Marriage (Planned Parenthood style)

Jun 04, 2006, 08:21 AM

...but romantic love, as we know it, didn't have much to do with marriage until around 1920.

Never ceases to amaze me how myopic people can be. Where did all the romantic poetry and stories written before then come from?

An awful lot of traditionally romantic poetry and stories were homosexual or extramartial (Shakespeare, Guenieve/Lancelot). Choosing a marriage partner based on love, rather than your parent's political/finicial reason was frowned upon (Romeo/Julliet, Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre, pretty much all of Jane Austen, Tess Of the Durbavilles)

32

Main / The High Price of Women's Eggs

Jun 04, 2006, 08:15 AM

On the other hand, men can donate repeatedly easily, while women would have to go through the long haul again.
I think my local donation clinic is offering more than average for donations - they currently only have one guy donating. So if you can keep the supply in your area down, you can make the price go up...

33

Main / Exploring personal gender bias

Jun 01, 2006, 04:27 PM

I've spent the day veiwing various websites through regender.com . Basically it switches all masculine words to feminine and v.v. It's really interesting to read for example, bbc news and see how out of place some of the headlines look if you swap gender. (Also reading this site, or a feminist site through the filter is very interesting. You notice gender where you don't usually see it, because it gets mentioned differently)

Phrases like "We have three children already, I want another baby, but my wife isn't interested", jumpt out at me because somewhere, unconciously, I expect people to act the way society says their gender role should. Slowly, I'm trying to drag it to the surface and notice all the assumptions I have about men and women that simply do not hold up.

Also, if you want a good laugh try it on a dating tips site. The advice given is simply hilarious why the genders are swapped round I found a lovely one suggesting if a women wants to get a guy, what she should do is go to a laundrette and play dumb - men apparently love "helpless" women who don't know how to do their own laundrey and need to be shown how to get stains out of clothes.

34

Main / Male rape statistics

May 30, 2006, 04:40 PM

Flicking through the research sites, I found some stats:

Struckman-Johnson (1994) reported that 24% of men had been sexually coerced by women after age 16 and 4% had been coerced by men

In one of the first prevalence studies of female-on-male sexual aggression, Struckman-Johnson (1988) found that 2% of the 355 female college students in her sample reported that they had "forced sex on a dating partner" at least once in their lifetime.

In a sample of 212 female participants studied by Anderson and Aymami (1993), 28.5% reported the use of verbal coercion, 14.7% had coerced a man into sexual activity by getting him intoxicated, and 7.1% had threatened or used physical force. Higher prevalence rates were established in a subsequent study by Anderson (1998) in which the same instrument was used. Prevalence of verbal coercion was as high as 43%, and 36.5% of respondents reported having gotten a man intoxicated to make him engage in sexual acts. Threat of force was reported by 27.8%, use of force by 20%, and threatening a man with a weapon by 8.9% of the female participants.

I really wish I could access the rest of this article: http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb1403/is_200309/ai_n5745749 As it sounds very interesting.

35

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 30, 2006, 10:01 AM

Besides this, when people take advantage of people for finacial gains it is morally wrong.. period. I'd guess we can all agree with that.

Yeah, and there are many, many women who do it.  Is it a coincidence that women almost always 'marry up'?  Aren't they taking advantage of their husbands for financial gain? Or is that somehow different? I'm interested in VK's sense of outrage because this time round it happens to be a man taking advantage of a woman's finances.

I'd be just as horrified the other way round. I think the worst part is they had an agreement he'd support her for the next year, and it looks like he is gonna welsh. (I'd also like to point out it wasn't like he was keeping house for her - he was out most of the day, either studying or drinking or directing student shows). At least most of the times women marry up, the husband gets washing and cooking included.

Normally I think divorce settlements should be straightforward - each leaves with whatever they brought to the marriage, and half of anything gained as a couple since the start of the marriage.  But that doesn't seem fair here, and I'm not sure what would be.

36

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 29, 2006, 11:03 AM

My apologies then, I guess I must be feeling a little oversensitive.

37

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 29, 2006, 10:30 AM

A wimpish knave. A charlatan. VK, you are a merkin and a tatty one at that.

In case you haven't read the board rules, personal attacks are not allowed.

Just how do you see that as an attack?  He is likening you to a pubic wig not calling you an asshole.

And that isn't a personal attack?

wimpish: Characteristic of a 'wimp'; feeble, ineffectual; snivelling

knave: A boy or lad employed as a servant; hence, a male servant or menial in general; one of low condition.

charlatan:  assuming empty pretender to knowledge or skill; a pretentious impostor

merkin: An artificial covering of hair for the female pubic region; a pubic wig for women. Also: an artificial vagina.  typical name (usu. derogatory) for: a lower-class, untidy, or sluttish woman, esp. a servant or country girl. An impotent or effeminate man; a weakling

38

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 29, 2006, 10:06 AM

A wimpish knave. A charlatan. VK, you are a merkin and a tatty one at that.

In case you haven't read the board rules, personal attacks are not allowed.

39

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 29, 2006, 09:48 AM

VK,

For the most part when I read your posts I agree with them, you seem to be a fair-minded person.

When I read you saying "I'd hit him/ or slap him" to be honest I didn't take this in a literal manner.

To be honest I didn't mean it literally (although he and I have a habit of acting as a make-up team on student shows, so I could mock him up something ghastly) . What I was actually planning to do was give him a stern talking to - but I need to wait til he gets his head sorted. Just gone on anti-depressants etc, so I'm gonna hold off until I know exactly what he intended in the first place.
If I find out he took advantage of that girl I will not be happy. (she is a little sweetheart, plain, very christian. I don't know her well, but I've bumped into her on the theatre scene (she sews costumes) and she is one of those small quiet people who is constantly being taking advantage of).
The breakdown has really thrown me - they had a really sensible tit-for tat plan. She spent a year in crappy jobs to support his last year of uni, then he was supposed to spend a year in crappy jobs while she did the serious job-hunting bit and got herself settled down in something well-paying. The she'd support him while he jobhunted, etc. Me/my bf were planning something similar, but it's got wondering if merging finances is ever a good idea.

40

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 29, 2006, 09:06 AM

You guys can think what you like. I don't know why you feel the need to demand I prove myself male to post here.

41

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 29, 2006, 08:47 AM

I'm a man.

:loll: Well you've kept your gender concealed all this time then - and during which time you've consistantly argued the feminist argument.  I'm suspicious of people who don't reveal their gender but make 200+ posts.  If you are male, I don't know why you've been coy about that fact.  I've read over some of your older posts just now and I see you're very careful to not reveal your gender - hmmmmmmmm  :scratchchin:

Do you tend to announce your vital statistics every time you post? Nope, went back and looked at YOUR first few posts and you don't say you are male. So...?

42

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 29, 2006, 06:26 AM

That depends on your sex.  If you are a man, then there's no problem.  You start a fight and finish a fight (although you might get labelled for "gay bashing").  

I'm a man. And it's hard to label a gay man for a gay bashing.

43

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 29, 2006, 05:47 AM

I waiting until I see how he acts after the divorce. It may be he genuinely thought it would work, and will make amends. If not, I will have to give him a stern talking to and a black eye.

VK, if it were a woman, not a man, would you punch her in the eye? Oh, heck, why not a child. Your attitude sucks enough. You seem to like violence, so redeem yourself right now or suffer what comes.

As yes, because there is no difference between a man who can defend himself, and a child.

44

Main / The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce

May 29, 2006, 03:36 AM

Btw, personally this person would no longer be my freind and they would be told in no uncertain terms why. The courts may not be able to uphold ethics but us as individuals can.

I waiting until I see how he acts after the divorce. It may be he genuinely thought it would work, and will make amends. If not, I will have to give him a stern talking to and a black eye.

45

Main / Men's cruelty to men.

May 29, 2006, 03:31 AM

Maybe belief matters only to what you say and do and has bugger all effect on what is true or not. Do you have something else, VK, other than belief? Some contraverting evidence for instance?

And the second half of the post you were mocking said "castration at an adult age would not effect the voice "

Try to read the whole thing first next time.