A hippie, a molecular biologist and Maureen Dowd were on a doomed airplane with only two available parcahutes. It was clear that one might inevitably die, so the three began to make their cases for survival:
Hippie: Ms. Dowd, you're a great journalist and have so much more brilliant work to do. Doc, you've perfected human cloning and have so many more valuable discoveries to make. I'm only 19 with my whole life ahead of me so who knows what I may accomplish someday? So we've got two parachutes between three people. If we strap both parachutes on and all hang on tight to each other, odds are we'll probably survive the fall.
Maureen Dowd: Well I have a different opinion! Doctor, since your outmoded linear thought has given us the ability to reproduce without men and everyone knows that the both of you have deteriorating Y chromosomes leading to the extinction of men anyway, it's imperative that brilliant and strong womyn like myself live as long as possible. I can't take a chance on not surviving the fall just to possibly save the two of you. I have a duty to live to point out all of the oppression and injustice in the world and to fight for the destruction of the patriarchy!
With that Maureen Dowd ripped the bag from the hippie's hands, threw it over her shoulders and jumped out the door. The two men could have fought for it and taken it back, but instead hesitated since they were taught all their lives never to physically attack a woman.
Molecular biologist: Son, I'm 60 years old and you're but 19. I've done a lot with my life and could probably do much more, but my life has been full and yours is just begun. Besides with the groundwork I've laid, others will be able to achieve great discoveries. One parachute will not serve the both of us so you take it and live.
Hippie: No sweat, Doc -- Maureen Dowd just jumped out of the airplane with my backpack!