I think, Shiva, that you believe that there is no masculine or feminine innate traits other than plumbing, am I correct?
No. I don't think many things are truly 'innate' at all.
So do you mean "yes, and I don't believe many other things are innate as well" Or do you mean "no-even plumbing is not innate?"
I think of all traits as human traits. What I'm arguing against is the stereotyped assignment of certain traits as male or female. There are always majorities that make the study look sound, but when these studies pretend that the humans I know are complete aberrations or fallacies... Well, I disregard those studies.
Men have penises.
My friend is genetically a man but was born without a penis.
Therefore, the idea that men have penises is false.
All things have exceptions. It is the greatest known in science. By your logic, we cannot make any statments of fact because all things have exceptions.
Rocks are hard (lava)
flowers smell pretty (skunk cabbage)
birds fly (emus)
dogs are quadrupeds (3 legged dogs, there are even 2 legged dogs)
You are saying that even if the idea is sound, if it emotionally excludes your personal friends or makes them feel bad you choose to not think it is valid. This is not a scientifically valid reason to discount a study.
Yes, much of gender is social, but much of it is biological. And while all humans live on a spectrum, there are basic divides between the genders where most people fall. That can be very useful information to have, especially when looking at things like education, counciling services, etc.
I think that your idea that gender is a social construct has been very damaging in schools, where it is assumed that all students can conform to one teaching method. This has hurt mainly boys, and also girls who fall in the more masculine end of the spectrum.
These are not absolutes. No one is saying your friend is not a man because he likes to talk. We are saying that his behavior does fall towards the more feminine range of behaviors. As a feminist, why is this insulting to you? Is there something wrong with being towards the feminine side of the spectrum?