Can someone force me to have a paternity test done on my child?

Started by The Invisible Male, May 15, 2007, 08:00 AM

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The Invisible Male

This lady is a selfish irresponsible idiot on so many different levels, I don't know where to begin!!  I don't like the lawyers advice, but at least she got a mild smackdown at the end.

"Can someone force me to have a paternity test done on my child? My husband and I have been married for over 4 years and have two beautiful children together. This past fall we went through a rough patch in our marriage and were "separated(not legally)" for a couple of months. He was staying with a friend while we were working out our problems. We were still sleeping together at the time, but one night I made a HUGE mistake and slept with a man, that I had considered to be a good friend at the time. I have tried to completely cut all ties to this man because my husband and I are back together and working things. My husband knows of the incident and we have worked past that. We found out shortly after he moved back in that I am pregnant with our 3rd child and have been adjusting to that as well. This other guy has found out that I ma pregnant and will not stop sending me e-mail telling me that he is the father of this baby and is in contact with a lawyer and wants me to have a DNA test done. It is highly unlikely that this other man is the father. And my husband and I believe it to be ours, we already have 2 children and intend to love this next baby just as much as our other two. This has caused a HUGE amount of stress on me being pregnant. I want nothing to do with this man and want him out of my life. He is very unstable, single guy who is heavy into drinking and dabbling in recreation drugs I don't trust him. Can he force me to have a paternity test done? A friend of his has told us that this guy is only causing trouble for us because he is jealous and doesn't want to see my husband and I work things out. That this man does not really care to be involved if in fact he is the father, he just wants to make us miserable. What should I do? Is there anything to do?"

The other man may just get his wish and get an order for DNA tests. If he pursues it, he might just be able to get a judge to order a paternity test. Until he does file something, tell him that you consider every false contact from him to be harassment, and build your case for a civil restraining order. Block every number and e- mail address you have for him.

If it turns out he is the father, he would likely be able to get parental rights and responsibilities. The lesson is "don't sleep around on your spouse."

The Invisible Man is an 1897 sci-fi novella by H.G. Wells.  The protagonist cannot become visible again, becoming mentally unstable as a result.


This is a great example of men turning existing paternity law upside down and giving it a good shake.  Historically, any child born to a married woman was legally presumed to be fathered by her husband.

Welcome to modern times.

The other man is right to want the truth since the woman would demand support from him once her husband gets enough of her shit and shows her the door.

But also, and more importantly, if he is a father, he has a right to be a part of his child's life and he should demand and pursue that right aggressively and within the law.  You can't be charged with harrassment for asking for what is yours as long as you stay within legal boundaries.

If this woman's husband took the same liberties during their "separation" and fathered a child, she would have to get her mind around the fact that her family is no longer the same neat little package as it was before.  Her husband would be legally obligated to support another woman's child.  Her children would deserve to share family events with their half-sibling.

She is assuming a privilege, an entitlement, to bring a child, possibly conceived outside of her marriage, into hers and her husband's home and raising it while excluding the father from their lives.

Justice is supposed to mean equality before the law without regard to gender.  This other man has rights and her attempts to smear him as unstable etc. should be seen for what they are.
The Lord works in strange ways; and with strange people.


Made the bed....

Now lay in it.  He has a right to know 100%.  and frankly, I think she does already know.  or she wouldn't be "fighting it".

The Man On The Street is on the street for a reason.......
It's not illegal to be male.....yet.


He is very unstable, single guy who is heavy into drinking and dabbling in recreation drugs I don’t trust him.

Riiiight. Yet you were still happy to screw him.

Justice would be your husband leaving WITH custody and the unstable, single(note her inclusion of this!),drinking, druggie turning out to be a pillar of society as well as the real father and getting custody too.

In 95% of things 100% of people are alike. It's the other 5%, the bits that are different, that make us interesting. It's also the key to our existence, and future, as a species.


Made the bed....

Now lay in it.  He has a right to know 100%.  and frankly, I think she does already know.  or she wouldn't be "fighting it".


You hit the nail on the head, she does, at the very least, suspect he is the father. I think she is afraid hubby will walk out if the child is not his and for her own selfish reasons doesn't want to stand up to her responsibility to the truth.

If I were her hubby I would certainly walk out after seeing her demonstration of dishonesty towards paternity.
I will stop staring at your boobs when you stop staring at my paycheck!


It's not for the other parent of any given child you may have to decide whether you're an unfit parent or not. Regardless of whatever relationship they may be in, or whatever mess their life may be in, both parents should both be given equal chance to participate in raising the child they created. Everyone's life is a mess at some time or another. And whether he drinks/dabbles in recreational drugs or not --- I know several people who do that and are still awesome parents. Their excesses/shortcomings/failings as a human being don't necessarily impact on their sense of duty, and love.

Way too much holding of one person by another to inhuman standards, IMHO.
The above is the individual opinion of shiva. Unless stated otherwise, it's just an opinion; please do not confuse with a certified expert's individual opinion.

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