Ten Reasons for Men Not to Fight Custody Battles

Started by Tony Ananda, Aug 30, 2007, 09:19 AM

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Tony Ananda

When the going gets weird, the wierd turn pro.

Virtue

oh look a fucking troll !.....hrmmn Ananda

Could it BE!!! AMANDA ! !
Imagine waking up tomorrow to find
that unbelievably rape is now legal.

You would be freaking out, telling everyone you ran into this is crazy- something needs to be done... now!!! And then every man you told this to just very smugly and condescendingly says...

"Hey... not all men are 'like that.'"

Mr. X

So I would assume the same 10 reasons apply to the mother and she should also not fight for custody?
Feminists - "Verbally beating men like dumb animals or ignoring them is all we know and its not working."

Virtue

Let me amend my previous statement.

If the poster would be so kind as to come forward and post his thoughts on the subject.....Untill that time I withdraw my statement.
Imagine waking up tomorrow to find
that unbelievably rape is now legal.

You would be freaking out, telling everyone you ran into this is crazy- something needs to be done... now!!! And then every man you told this to just very smugly and condescendingly says...

"Hey... not all men are 'like that.'"

Assault

Hmmm...while some of that MAY be valid, it comes off as the same old Men=bad/Women=Good that men today are so used to hearing.
Feminism is the product of female selfishness, compounded by male chivalry.

- Peter Zohrab -

Virtue

Not a single fucking word of that pdf was valid.
Imagine waking up tomorrow to find
that unbelievably rape is now legal.

You would be freaking out, telling everyone you ran into this is crazy- something needs to be done... now!!! And then every man you told this to just very smugly and condescendingly says...

"Hey... not all men are 'like that.'"

Garak

In other words..."Dads, please don't make it difficult for moms to steal your children!"
I will stop staring at your boobs when you stop staring at my paycheck!

dr e

Hi Tony - Good to see you.

Herb Goldberg predates Warren Farrell in his writing about men's issues.  I don't want to defend him just yet since I haven't read the article but I give him a good deal of leeway considering he was really the first person to open the discussion about the rigidity and harmfulness of the male sex role.
Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

dr e

Interesting article.  Goldberg seems to be saying that the man is at a distinct disadvantage in custody battles due to his likely position as provider.  When we provide we have less time at home and develop less emotional bonds with the kids.  He also seems to be pointing out that the fathers traditional role of setting limits and saying no is also a setup for his not being "liked" in the family system.  He coulples this with the likliehood that mom is going to act childish around custody issues and go for his juglar.  Add onto this the bias of the courts and the greed of family court attorneys who prey on conflict and he concludes that a man's best bet may to to avoid that fight altogether.  Interesting strategy that reminds me of Akido.  By not putting up oodles of resistance you are able to foil your oppoonent.

 
Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

typhonblue


Interesting article.  Goldberg seems to be saying that the man is at a distinct disadvantage in custody battles due to his likely position as provider.  When we provide we have less time at home and develop less emotional bonds with the kids.  He also seems to be pointing out that the fathers traditional role of setting limits and saying no is also a setup for his not being "liked" in the family system.  He coulples this with the likliehood that mom is going to act childish around custody issues and go for his juglar.  Add onto this the bias of the courts and the greed of family court attorneys who prey on conflict and he concludes that a man's best bet may to to avoid that fight altogether.  Interesting strategy that reminds me of Akido.  By not putting up oodles of resistance you are able to foil your oppoonent.


I think privilaging the mother-child bond over the father-child bond probably enabled feminism.

Imagine. Generations of women and men who hate dad because he wasn't there for them.

I think Goldberg has some good points.

Mr. X

Well I could see the argument that acting like the mother turns the dad into the same rotten shrew. That a prolonged battle just destroys everyone and the guys should just accept he's getting raped and leave it at that and win other battles instead. But there's something so distasteful about allowing an injustice in the name of peace.
Feminists - "Verbally beating men like dumb animals or ignoring them is all we know and its not working."

Garak


Well I could see the argument that acting like the mother turns the dad into the same rotten shrew. That a prolonged battle just destroys everyone and the guys should just accept he's getting raped and leave it at that and win other battles instead. But there's something so distasteful about allowing an injustice in the name of peace.


So, does it work both ways?

If dad files for custody first, should mom not fight it?
I will stop staring at your boobs when you stop staring at my paycheck!

shard43


So, does it work both ways?

If dad files for custody first, should mom not fight it?


She doesn't have to and according to feminists she shouldn't have to, because the state is fighting for the poor, weak woman from big bad man with his fistfuls of dollars and lawyer sharks.

K9

Being a head tinker is no replacement for experience. How many Dads here can agree? Did the custody battle make your children like you less?
Explaining misandry to a feminist is like explaining "wet" to a fish.

poiuyt

A vicious spiral of cynicism, illwill and a mutual bad consience surrounds males and male attitudes towards each other in western societies. Our first and last problem as males in society is we.

Quote

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,2156512,00.html

The friend of the stars who fell from grace

Bruce Hyman was a barrister and an admired TV and radio producer. Then, inexplicably, he perverted the course of justice and now faces jail

A barrister and renowned radio and television producer, who has worked with the likes of Anthony Minghella, Michael Frayn and David Mamet, is facing jail after being found guilty of attempting to pervert the course of justice. Bruce Hyman, chief executive of Above The Title Productions, has pleaded guilty to attempting to falsely incriminate the husband of a client he was representing in the family court. If jailed, it is believed it would be the first time that a barrister had been sent to prison for such a crime.

His admission of guilt represents a remarkable fall from grace for a man who has produced more than 150 plays, musicals and comedy shows and written scripts for Angus Deayton and Johnny Vegas. Stars such as Maureen Lipman, Patricia Hodge and Peter Capaldi have appeared in Hyman's productions, which include The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for Radio 4.
He also produced Unreliable Evidence, the acclaimed BBC radio series, fronted by his close friend Clive Anderson, that examines complex aspects of the law. As a practising barrister, Hyman was able to bring a wealth of knowledge to the programme, which attracted the biggest names in the legal profession.

But in an act that seems worthy of discussion on Anderson's programme, Hyman emailed a bogus legal judgment he had forged to his client's former husband, who was trying to gain greater access to the couple's daughter.

The email, sent from what Hyman thought was an untraceable address, carried the logo of Families Need Fathers, the charity that campaigns for fathers' rights. It appeared to bolster the father's claim that he should be granted greater access to his daughter and, believing it to be a genuine judgment, he presented it before the judge at Taunton family court in Somerset.

Within minutes of doing so, Hyman pounced, suggesting not only that the judgment was a forgery but that the father, who was representing himself, might have been responsible for faking it. The father suddenly found himself facing a charge of perverting the course of justice and the prospect of having to pay substantial costs.

'I cannot describe the feelings that went through me,' the father, who cannot be named for legal reasons, told The Observer. 'To be accused in court of what the judge had no trouble reminding me was a serious crime was horrendous. I was frantic, panic stricken; not to mention angry.' Baffled as to how such a 'mistake' had been made, he learnt that electronic documents could be traced via specialist online applications. Soon he had tracked the email via an internet server in Manchester to a shop in Tottenham Court Road in London.

The shop denied sending the email and offered to check its CCTV footage for the day the email was supposedly sent. 'I couldn't believe it when they emailed me some 12 or 13 of the CCTV stills,' he said. 'I almost fell off my chair.' The pictures showed Hyman entering the shop, removing a motorcycle helmet and sending an email from a laptop. It seemed an open and shut case. 'But the police would not investigate initially,' said the father, who was eventually put in touch with a helpful police officer by a Families Need Fathers member. 'As it was, my local force didn't follow up my report until some months after Hyman's arrest. If FNF hadn't put me in touch with a police officer who took the case seriously, I might well have been facing a lengthy prison sentence.'

What motivated Hyman, a happily married man with four children, to break the law in a way that could have sent an innocent man to prison is not clear. He is not a specialist in family law, nor is he from the area where the case was heard. Further, he had passed his bar exams only a couple of years earlier and the case was one of his first.

With a home in Hampstead, London, and a chalet in the Alps, which he is believed to have sold recently, he was wealthy and had an enviable social life. His dinner parties were eagerly anticipated, thanks to his skills in the kitchen and ready wit. It might have been that he took the case because he knew his client extremely well. The two had set up a company together shortly after the beginning of the millennium and they had known each other for many years. Even after Hyman was arrested, documents show he continued to work on the case and picked up his client's daughter from school at least once.

Records obtained by the police show Hyman telephoned the mother on the day he emailed her ex-husband the fake judgment. Although arrested, the mother was not charged and there is no suggestion she knew of his plan.

Hyman, who faces sentencing on 19 September, declined to comment, but those who know him express bafflement at what he has done. They say that after passing his bar exams he seemed to change his image. 'He was in love with the law in the way some middle-aged men are in love with the idea of being a rock star,' said an acquaintance. 'When he became a lawyer some of his friends started to see a lot less of him.'

Meanwhile, the father has been left deeply bruised by what has happened. He still does not see his daughter as much as he would like. He is disillusioned with the courts system. 'Anyone who contemplates going through the family courts system should consider pulling their own fingernails out instead; it's less painful,' he said. 'Appearing at these private hearings, where parties and their lawyers too often seem to have the smearing of their opponents at the top of their agendas, robs you of your dignity and your belief in the system.'

Fathers' rights groups say the case highlights concern about the closed nature of the family courts. 'There's a lot of what I call "micro-shittiness" in the family courts,' said Jim Parton of Families Need Fathers. 'There are low-level acts of bullying by the lawyers in the corridors that go on all the time, but none of it gets reported.'





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