A refreshing article on MSN

[The Biscuit Queen]

http://men.msn.com/guides/10best/article.aspx?cp-documentid=6071665&GT1=10821

They ran a Ten Ways to be a Better Husband, and now are running this, Ten Ways to Be a Better Wife. This is what I consider fair treatment of both genders by the media.

[Assault]

That is a nice article. Very refreshing!

[dr e]

I applaud MSN for trying to address both the husband and the wife.  Good for them.  However, I think there is plenty of sexism under the hood if you just look a little more closely.

The article states that you cannot change the other person, you can only change yourself.  Yep.  We have heard that one for a long time.  But what does the article then proceed to do?  It tells men they need to change their behavior related to chores!  Sounds like journalistic nagging to me.  Was this written by a woman?  LMAO!

#2 Put the kids to bed!  (this sexist statement assumes the man is not already putting the kids to bed)
#5 Clean up after yourself!  (This sexist statement assumes the man is a slob)
#7 Groom yourself!  (This sexist statement assumes the man has poor hygiene)
#10 Mind your manners! (This sexist statement assumes the man needs to be more mannerly)

Sound like a nag to anyone?

Anyone else see that as pretty laughable?  Just look at the female side and see if there are any "suggestions" that ask her to do more around the house.  Maybe a suggestion she should take out the trash or maybe one that she should clean the gutters or fix the car or  computer.  Nope.  Make more friends and don't try to change him.  hmmmm

The thing that irks me the most about this article is these two messages given to the men:

3) Learn to apologize.

4) Thank her for putting up with you.

Actually these are good suggestions to give....TO BOTH.  Notice that they are only given to the man's side.  #3 seems to assume that the man needs to learn how to apologize and the absense on the women's side implies that she doesn't.  Actually we all can learn more about this but to specifically target only one sex as needing to do this is, well, sexist.

In my work with couples I have seen over and over that there are more women who need to learn to apologize in relationship than there are men.  That's just my experience and my biased sample but that is the honest truth.  Then to see this message only given to men is absolutely laughable.

#4 Clearly states that there is something wrong with the man that the women needs to "put up" with.  It assumes he is at fault.  Again, this is good advice but when only given to one side it becomes a sexist joke.

FOR WOMEN

1) Take care of yourself


2) Say thank you, often


3) Keep the romance alive


4) Let him have "guy time"


5) Make your husband a priority

6) Don't try to change him


7) Don't make him guess--tell him what you want


Cultivate friends and interests outside your marriage

9) Let free time be free


10) Believe in your husband, and let him know it



MEN

1) Take an interest in something your wife is really passionate about.

2) Put the kids to bed.


3) Learn to apologize.


4) Thank her for putting up with you.


5) Clean up after yourself.

6) Make time for just the two of you.


7) Groom yourself.

Get away from the family.


9) Deal with your side of the family.


10) Don't lose your dating manners.

[Bobx23456]

That's a good analysis Dr. E.   The hnts for men are mostly misandrist.   The hints for females are positive.   They even advise females to have an affair #8

Blessings

Bob

[devia]

One of the best things about my husband and myself is we encourage each other to be ourselves without excuses. I've told this story before but it bears repeating. I was at a company wing night and we were having a great time, closing the pub kind of great time. EVERY single married person except myself was at some point on their cell phone giving excuses to their spouse as to why they weren't home yet... with the no no no... I'm not drunk tag line.

When I got home all my husband said is you look like you had a great time, need me to drive you to pick up the car tomorrow?  Most of the time we go out together, but when he occasionally comes home at 2 am in a slightly stumbling sort of way I'm just glad that he had the chance to let off a little steam.

[Mr. X]

Yes I noticed too that the female list tells her to do things for herself but the male list is about her. Maybe the male list should be:

1. She is right.
2. You are wrong.
3. Make time for her...or else.
4. Be lucky she doesn't call family services and blame you for molesting the kids.
5. Do the chores after you get home from your 12 hour job.
6. Keep yourself fit and groomed. Ugly horses get put out to pasture.
7. Everything she says is important including what happened on Judge Judy today.
8. Going out, working two jobs, fixing the car, fending of a burglar, dealing with the bills and moving a refridgerator does not make you a man.
9. She can shoot you at anytime and only get 90 days in the county lock up.

[The Gonzman]

That's a good analysis Dr. E.   The hnts for men are mostly misandrist.   The hints for females are positive.   They even advise females to have an affair (

Blessings

Bob

I missed that.  Could you provide the link and cite the passage?

[TheManOnTheStreet]

BAH.... still slanted in it's sublties....

For instance:

"And give him time to recharge by not over-scheduling weekends with home projects and shopping."

Oh, the dreaded "honey-doooooo" list.......I wonder if she likes hers lists with mayo of mustard?

TMOTS

[CaptDMO]

TODAY on MSN-"How to behave!

Meanwhile, MSNBC (shocking) on the other hand is touting the "work longer" ethic under the "financial advice" umbrella,  directed at men, citing early retirement (like 65), as well as early access to (gum'mint endorsed) retirement funds may influence your spouses' future.
Yeah, THAT song!

Great advice after the current recession has begun it's slide.
Ladies and Gentlemen, CASH IN unsecure investments, BUY an expensive sports car, (better yet, ocean worthy sail boat) and get the economy moving forward for grandchildren.
THEY are the ones who are going to be taking care of YOU, and your children, when the socialized medicine for all is rejecting old farts, the obese, smokers, and others guilty of unsanctioned activities that have been extorted to pay for it.

Um, like the pending  Canadian Model!

That right around the corner US bribe to go out and buy something (pffft, like a fraction of your outstanding credit debt, maybe your union dues?) is already under ongoing assault by socialist, unsigned,"drop in", parachute....um.....provisions. That's before you get taxed on it as "returned" income!

But, good for MSN, and their advice to married folk on how to behave.
THAT bandwagon came and left 30 years ago gentle readers.

I suspect successfully established, and reasonably content,  couples with a secure investment in each other are fluent in these principals. I suppose it has to be re-instructed every generation. Too bad it has to come from electronic media.

Expect syndicated tabloid hack Jeanne Phillips (Dear Abby II) to TROUNCE on this guide to domestic bliss, indirectly, any day now.



 

   

[Bobx23456]

Losely translated here are the recommendations for men and women.
WOMEN
1) Me first.
2) You deserve gifts
3) You are the center of love
4) You are in control of his time.  He does what you allow.
5) Spend some time on your husband
6) Changing him doesn't work.
7) Tell him what you want
Have affairs and outside relationships
9) Don't let your marriage be you only focus  See #8
10) You own him.  Let him know it

MEN
1) Abandon your interests in favor of what she wants
2) Do her housework.
3) You are wrong
4) She matters, you don't. 
5) You are dirty
6) Spend your time serving her.  She'll tell you what to do
7) You're a slob.  Shape up
You are allowed some free time
9) Your mother is awful.  Don't make your wife be nice
10) Keep kissing her behind -- forever.  She's a princess.