My father sent me several diaries from the late 1800s so that I could further pursue my interest in genealogy. I found a diary from 1886 and 1891 that belonged to my great grandmother, who lived in upstate New York at the time. Many of the entries were brief, and appeared to concern the running of a farm e.g. "I churned 20 lbs. of butter today," or "Ed sold 30 eggs today." It appears that my great grandfather Edward also earned money by laboring for the local village or other farmers. Many days record him cutting (or "drawing") wood for the local village, especially in winter, or drawing loads of bricks. It sounded like a lot of labor for a young man, in addition to running a farm. Yet, one gets a sense that he was content with his life. On Christmas Day in 1886 his wife (Cornelia) wrote that Ed got her and her new baby (my grandfather) a couple of small gifts, and that he said "he wouldn't trade it [his life] for all the riches in the world."
It could also be dangerous cutting wood, as you can probably figure. On the last day of December in 1891, Cornelia wrote that "Ed got hurt in the woods today," followed by "Ed died today" on the first day of January, 1892. Ed was killed by a falling tree. He was just 31 years old, and had three young children by that time.
A further tragedy occurred in 1912 when the second son, William, was crushed by two railroad cars while working at a railyard. This was covered in several newspaper clippings that I found. He was only 24 years old.
Several diaries were from my great great grandfather and great great grandmother in upstate New York from the 1860s and 1870s. These were the parents of Edward. While there were many blank or barely legible pages, they provided some insight into the daily life a of Methodist minister and his wife. One gets a sense of a time when there was a greater sense of community, and where someone coming to visit was the highlight of the day.
Anyway, I just posted this to give some historical perspective on the way that husbands and wives really interacted back in the 1800s. I got the idea that both sexes worked together for the good of the family unit, rather than the idea of domineering patriarchs that mistreated their wives. And the deaths of both a father and son while working show that they were hardly privileged (and neither was Cornelia, losing her husband and source of support at such a young age, as well as her son).
Yet it appears that people at this time stoically accepted what life gave them, and were even content.