Ooopsie.
Annie's Mailbox May 21Dear Annie: I am a highly educated single woman in my 30s who has made many serious mistakes. I have had overlapping affairs and relationships with my co-workers, some of them married.
I have come to understand that I did this because I enjoyed the attention. I also thought I could use these men to advance my career. As it turns out, I have been mostly unemployed for more than a year. I now think I may never be able to find a job in my field, partly because others know about my involvement with colleagues.
I regret my actions and feel terrible about the impact they have had on others. I want to start over, but don't know how. Should I apologize to those I have hurt or just move on? How do I find employment with my history? -- Miserable and Discouraged in California
Dear California: It's always a good idea to apologize to someone you have hurt. Depending upon the degree of pain you inflicted, you might not be forgiven, but you will feel better for having tried. And if you believe this is a reason you are not finding employment, you should be upfront about it. Explain to any potential employer that you made some personal mistakes at your previous job, but have learned your lesson and want to prove you can do better. You also should get the word out to former colleagues that you are sorry for your prior behavior, you've changed and you're looking for work. If you still cannot find a job, consider continuing education classes to burnish your resume or, if necessary, changing careers. Sometimes you have to clean the slate entirely.
