It's Fun to be a Woman
Ever since my work dealing with femininity, in particular a piece I wrote called, "Feminine or Feminist," people have come to me and asked me what I mean by "feminine." Let me now define that by comparing two different things: the feminine woman versus the "hot" woman.
Femininity is not just looking pretty, wearing high heels, or dressing in skirts. These things can and do play a part of it, but it is not the essence of femininity. Indeed, one can easily name a host of attractive women who are not feminine.
Femininity is not so much anything as it is a state of mind. Most importantly, femininity is a woman who embraces, relishes, and enjoys the fact that she is a woman.
Femininity is an essence, a behavior, a choice, a spirituality. Being hot and sexy is not spiritual; it is primarily bodily. Femininity is a certain state of mind; being hot is having certain ideal characteristics. The feminine woman may or may not have ideal physical characteristics. The hot woman always does; it is the essence of her lusty sexual appeal.
This is not to say that the feminine woman necessarily is unattractive. Indeed a host of attractive woman are feminine, and this creates a dynamic combination. It also doesn't mean that a feminine woman doesn't take care of her body - she should maintain her body, all as part of loving her bodily nature as a woman - but perfectly ideal female characteristics is not a requirement to be a feminine woman.
This is drawn out by the fact that I've seen and known women in their 70s who are more feminine than many younger women, especially younger women today. I've seen women who are in their 70s who still draw into themselves to laugh in a distinctly girly way; who still wear their favorite red lipstick; who still thank and affirm men profusely when they give up their bus seat for her. Feminnity is an action, a way of being - that is largely irrelevant of how good of a feature God may have given to any woman.
Another major difference between the feminine woman and the hot woman is the feminine woman ages gracefully. She understands her path as a woman involves growing from young into old; from a Miss to a Mrs.; daughter to a mother. These are all part of her natural course as a woman. The hot woman is insistent on keeping a youthful ideal with botox, plastic surgery, and my personal pet peeve: women who are 60+ and keep long hair. These women aren't just in denial of who they are as women, but as older women. In an ironic twist, it is the feminine woman who actually retains a youthful glow to her.
A feminine woman is likely to keep a thin layer of body fat on her body. This doesn't make her look fat; it makes her look soft. The hot woman is likely to drive to 0% body fat; rock hard abs; chiseled arms.
A feminine woman tends to be modest. The hot woman is likely to dress in mid drifts and daisy dukes. The feminine woman loves her body: why would she reveal it to just anybody? The feminine versus the hot woman is the difference between sensual and slutty.
For a feminine woman, there is no breach, at all, between her actions and who she is, metaphysically, as a woman. She embraces reality - who she is as a woman, her delicate skin, her soft face, her shape, her breasts. Yes, make up and dressing nice are a part of it, but only to accentuate, highlight, and idealize those features which make her a woman.
Femininity is something that is exclusive to women. Men cannot revel in the fact that they are women for obvious reasons. Many will have you believe that masculinity and femininity is something that either gender can be. But, in fact, if any given trait can rationally exist in either gender, it was not a "masculine" trait or a "feminine" trait to begin with. Only women can be feminine. Only men can be masculine.
This is what I mean by femininity: a woman who says, "I love being a woman!!"
