Women don't need to be masculine to succeed

[Amber]

One of the things I said on another message board that really resonated with a woman was when I said in a capitalist world, success is mostly based on *intellectual ability*, therefore a woman can do it, and does not need to be male-like to succeed.

The woman really liked this.  She said she was a computer programmer and focused solely on producing competent work.  She said other women in her more male-dominated field acted like men to compensate for being women, and the only thing it really did was make them hard to work with.

Women really like this message of being both competent and feminine at the same time.

Of course, one article I have on femininity is solely dedicated to healing this false dichtomy of femininity equating to weakness.  The masculine sexless competent girl on one side and the girly weak stupid woman on the other.

This is one thing I definitely have to offer women - healing this dichotomy.

This is a dichotomy not just advocated by feminists (and of course, it is by them), but by conservatives too.

[bluegrass]

I recently attended a technical seminar in my field along with a couple of other people from my company.  One was a woman just stepping onto the first rung of management and complaining about how she felt things were stacked against her at the ripe old age of 26 because she didn't see a quick path to becoming a manger.  I explained to her that at her age I was making $18,000/yr and that she was actually doing well in her career.  

Ovewr the course of the 4 day seminar I must have heard at least 20 references to her struggles of working in a male dominated field (biotech, biologics manufacturing) and after a while my responses were, "you almost sound like you believe that."  Of course she believes it since it's accepted as fact.

During meal times and the usual cocktail hour with sales people I looked around the great big room and saw plenty of women.  It was too many to count, but I'd have to say the number of women in this male dominated room was around 30 - 40%.  I did take an exact count of the people in the classes which we were taking together, and found lo and behold the men were outnumbered.  And the technical experts doing the teaching were pretty much 50/50!

So at what point is a certain field dominated by men and at what point is it just populated more by men?

[nebulousone]

When did it become about what's between your legs instead of who can do the damned job?

I realize my comment is slightly OT but that's the thought that kept resonating through my head as I was reading your post.  That and GET OVER IT!  If those who are more qualified happen to be male, then quit whining and obsessing and do what you need to do to make yourself more qualified.

Christ.

BTW, in case it's not obvious, I wasn't speaking to you Bluegrass, but to the individuals you're speaking of in your post.

[bluegrass]

At another point we wer having drinks one night and I was talking about my three year old daughter and how crazy i am about her.  This woman started going on and on about how lucky I was to have a girl child because female children are much more likely to take care of their parents in old age "it's statistically proven," she said.

I told her I didn't think I'd have to worry about it since men die so much younger anyway.  "its statitically proven."  She chuckled at that.

But talk about a man hater!  More likely to take care of you in your old age -- can't you come up with a better one than that?