Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be open when she brings it to you.
Q: How many men does it take to fix a woman's watch?
A: Why does she need a watch? There's a clock on the oven!
http://objectifygirls.blogspot.com/2009/06/antifeminist-jokes.html---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do women get married in white?
A: So they match the appliances!
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A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.
Somehow the professor heard about the plan.
In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a prostitute makes $2000 per night."
All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."
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A woman is fast approaching 40 years of age and is without a partner. This situation has her rather depressed due to her long history of failed relationships. After much debate she decides that the best thing to do is to take out a personal ad in the paper:
Wanted: A good lover to be my friend; who won't beat me and won't run out on me.
After a week or so no one has responded to the ad. She is feeling particularly depressed when the door bell rings.
She opens the door to find a man with no arms and no legs lying on the front porch. Quite surprised at the sight she asks him what he wants.
He replies, "I'm responding to your ad for a good lover."
"How can that be? You have no arms and no legs!"
"I have no arms so I can't beat you and I have no legs so I can't run out on you!" he said.
"What about being a good lover?" she asked.
He responded, "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"
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One night, two Eskimos are sitting in a bar in northern Alaska, when they are accosted by a young man from the Mainland. The fellow has obviously been drinking. He slurs, "Hey, ya know, I've always admired you Eskimos. I REEAAALLLY like Eskimos. I've ALWAYS WANTED to be an Eskimo. Tell me how ta BE an Eskimo, huh?"
The Eskimos wink at each other. One tells the guy, "Okay, to become an Eskimo, there are only three things that you have to do. First, you've got to drink a whole bottle of Yukon Jack at once, then you've got to kill a polar bear with your bare hands, and, finally, you have to make love to an Eskimo woman."
The guy takes this in. He ticks off three fingers to himself. Then he heads over to the bar, and orders a bottle of Yukon Jack. Already drunk, he drinks the whole thing down. This has a bad effect on his balance. The fellow staggers out of the bar, muttering something like "Polar bear, Polar bear..."
Several hours pass.
Finally, the door to the bar opens, and the drunk is back. He looks a fright. His parka is ripped, one of his arms is dangling at a crazy angle, and he's got blood all over his face. He staggers over to the Eskimos, and says, "ALL right. I've got the Yukon Jack. I've got the polar bear. Now WHERE'S THIS ESKIMO BITCH I'VE GOTTA KILL?"
