Single Mother Hot Patato

Started by D, Dec 10, 2003, 10:06 AM

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Hey Sir Jessy,
    That link you left me was great.  Man, this cunt who wrote that article really made me angry.  I will NOT apologize for using the C word.  See, notice how right off the bat she starts with the words "Common Law".  Now, first off, can anyone explain what that is.  I mean, I got a pretty good idea, but isn't it different from state to state and from US to Canada?   Also, didn't anyone notice how she said "common law" over and over and over?  She is trying to formalize any "shacking up" or "common address" situation and that's horseshit.  Does she EVEN HINT at advocating for the man to have custody of the children?   Nope, didn't see it.  Did she mention that "common law" and "living together" are (depending on the local law - again, someone get me the definition of "common law" - I am fuzzy on this one) a grey area?  This woman started with a bias and a slant on even her vocabulary and used slippery slope logic.  She says that SOMEONE has to pay for the kids, so, hey, why not the nearest man?  Ok, how about HER DAD & MOM?  They gave her her her "values".  Oh, and from now on she, and all the money sponges, have to disclose to all future boyfriends and potential mates that she is soaking some guy who she promised love but to whom she gave debt.  ONCE AGAIN:  Make someone, anyone,  pay for a woman's unilateral choice to have a child, just bloody well make sure the person getting soaked has a penis.  I mean, if this UTEREOUS with attitude and no work ethic is so damn desperate for money, TAKE THE CHILD FROM HER and give it to this hard working, stable, and fiscally responsible person that the court, just microseconds ago, deemed a WONDERFUL source of money and the court was just GUSHING self-justification that they had BONDED!! So the court should take the child from MOM/WHORE/womb-as-legalized-slot-machine and let HER GET A J-O-B.  

Man-O-man ... makes me wanna pull out the 12 guage and load up with rock salt.

'Watch our backs at home, we'll guard the wall over here. You can sleep safe tonight, we'll guard the door."

Isaiah 6:8
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Sir Jessy of Anti

Heh.  Nice rant Steve.  I fully concur.

*Oh, BTW....I wrote to Mindelle to express the sentiments I had regarding this article when it came out.  I was honest and used valid points and logic.
I guess as a result of my activism, other men emailed her too.  She then used this as a stepping stone to attack fathers rights in general.    Cunt is right.
"The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master." -- Ayn Rand<br /><br />


IMO if a stepdad IS dad to his kids it's the same as adoption and he's should have the same rights and resposibilities towards them.

I know of stepdads who have costady, so I guess in some ways laws governing this are a good thing.

But things can get crazy along these lines. My husband and I married when my kids were in their middle teens, he is their stepdad not their dad. Likes them and all, and because of never wanting to breed himself and not liking small children they are enough for him as far as contributing to the next generation... and those two bedrooms wern't being used anyways... but.

But - We've just found out he'll have to co-sign on my daughters student loans. If we wern't married she would be eligible for low interest government loans.

Oviously he's going to do it, luckly the daughter entering university next year is mucho responsible, and I'll be making monthly part payments on her loans from my income (if I have a dam job) but he shouldn't have to.

About dating woman with kids.

I've heard mucho lamenting from single moms about this.
Maybe it was because my kids were older when I was dating, but except for once where the guy I was dating wanting to start a family and my tubes are tied my kids were never an issue.

1) I did not bring men home to meet the kids, and made it clear to them first by not discussing my kids on first dates, and then by making it clear to them I did not mix dating and home, and that I fully supported my children, that I was not in anyway shape or form looking for a dad.

My kids got "found out about" not by bringing out the pictures and saying "this is my babies, ain't they cute?" but as a explaination as to why him coming home with me wasn't going to happen.

2) Once a guy got to know me well enough they knew that my kids dad and I are very good freinds, and that at the time he was in school and not paying any child support because I wanted him to be able to finish school.

My foster daughters a single mom, and she's adopted the same policies. Go out and date to have a good time and mix with the opposite sex in a romantic manner. Not go out and date to land that man.

My advice for woman is to leave the kids out of it completely. If the guy and your relationship is progressing to the point of it being something more then just a casual fling he might ask to meet the kids, he might not.  

If it works out don't ask for instant family. We've been living together for over 3 years, this xmas will be our first family vacation.


Yes, I agree and have wrote about it for a while, it is not the gender that abuses power it is the position of power that allows that abuse.  

Politicians can come up with a lot of double talk to get elected and they will say all kinds of things that sound nice to women specifically (simply because they hold the majority vote).  These politicians conveniantly leave out the reprucussions of their policies and who it is that suffers from them.  

Defence lawyers in Canada are not doing their jobs imo, they are letting things get out of hand because in the end it makes the cash wheels spin.

In regards to common law, I think it only takes about two months these days to be considered such.  So in three months time a guy can be on the hook for longterm child support.  This can happen even if the real father is already paying child support.  

If you want to know why these guys are freaking out and killing their ex's and everyone else, it's laws like these that are doing it.


Here are the requirements for common law marriage in texas:

"A finding of the existence of a common law or informal marriage is only justified if the evidence shows that (1) the parties agreed to be married, (2) that they lived together in Texas as husband and wife, and (3)they have publicly represented themselves as married.
All three of these requisites must exist at the same time. "

So at least in Texas, you better be careful how you introduce a woman who is living with you.

Sir Jessy of Anti

Do you have a cite for the two month thing?  I am aware in Canada at the provincial level legislation dictates three years.  After one year cohabitating couples can file joint tax returns.  I would like to see an example of 2-3 months because it demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt how insane these laws are.  And yes,  these laws do drive men to kill their spouses (common law or otherwise) but what I never understood is why they kill their children too.  

Anyone who would do such a thing is in my eyes a monster.
"The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master." -- Ayn Rand<br /><br />


Isn't anyone who kills someone else for no reason a monster though?

Sir Jessy of Anti

Yes of course.
"The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master." -- Ayn Rand<br /><br />


I'd guess it has to do with the idea that they wont be able to be their parent so they kill them instead of letting someone else be their parent.

Sir Jessy of Anti

Sounds plausible.
"The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master." -- Ayn Rand<br /><br />


I'm just going by what people tell me around here.  I don't have any sources to show right now.

I guess a quick search of common law laws would give us an idea.    I heard it went from 3 years to 6 months then to two months.  

I hear a lot of people talking that they won't involve themselves with single mothers, and I hear single mothers complaining they can't get boyfriends.  Of course some of them can recite that Dixie Chicks song off by heart.  That might explain something.

I don't blame these single mothers entirely either.  An 18 year old girl with a new son or daughter wouldn't be responsible for the laws being the way they are.  Yet ironically she is suffering from them just the same.

However most of them only see it through their eyes, which is how most people view the world, male or female.  So they only see how it effects them, not how it effects the man who had no interest in paying longterm child support.

Now I suppose their is a difference between the guy who wanted to raise the kids and their is no bio father around etc.... but what about the guy who didn't and wasn't expecting things to turn out that way.  Certainly not fair in my opinion.


If the man wanted to help raise the kids there shouldn't be a need for child support payments.

What dixie chicks song are you talking about?


I hear horror stories of people being roped into "common law marriage" obligations, but at least the way I've been reading the laws here, I don't see how that could be possible.
It looks to me that you have to do a little more than just cohabitate, such as acknowledge and introduce her as your wife, maybe file joint tax returns etc.
If you do that then I seems to me you have walked into it with your eyes wide open.

The scarier thing to me is that you could be forced to pay child support for a kid that's not yours, while the mother is actually collecting from the bio father also.
I'd like to read some documented cases of that happening. (Then again, maybe I don't want to see it. Kinda like that monster under your bed, if you don't see it, it ain't real!)
There are all kinds of frightening things about establishing paternity that I have read in the law statutes that already make me want to keep it in my pants. I'm not sure I need another.

As far as the whole topic of single mothers goes, I tend to stay away from them, and I'm sure I'm probably missing out on some outstanding women.
I just don't want to raise someone else's kid.
I've witnessed way to much to want to bite into that pie.
The first time I heard "I don't have to, you're not my REAL dad", I'm afraid I'd say, "You're right, what are you doing in MY house. There's the door and take your mother with you."

I never have been real tolerant.


What dixie chicks song are you talking about?

I'm thinking it's probably "Goodbye Earle".

Here are the lyrics:

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4H Club
Both active in the FFA
After graduation Mary Anne went out lookin'
for a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town
and all she found was Earl

Well it wasn't two weeks
after she got married that
Wanda started gettin' abused
She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses
And make-up to cover a bruise
Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atalnta
On a red eye midnight flight
She held Wanda's hand as they
worked out a plan
And it didn't take long to decided

That Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
Those black-eyed peas
They tasted all right to me Earl
You're feeling weak
Why don't you lay down
and sleep Earl
Ain't it dark
Wrapped up in that tarp Earl

The cops came to bring Earl in
They searched the house
high and low
Then they tipped their hats
and said 'Thank You ladies
if you hear from him let us know'

Well the weeks went by and
Spring turned to Summer
And Summer faded into Fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
who nobody missed al all

So the girls bouth some land
and a roadside stand
Out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham
and strawberry jame
And they don't
lose any sleep at night 'cause

Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake Earl
We'll pack a lunch
And stuff you in the trunk Earl
Well is that all right
Good Let's go for a ride
Earl hey
i]Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.[/i]
~Abraham Lincoln


Interesting song....

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