The age old Question

Started by The Gonzman, Dec 16, 2003, 04:17 AM

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The Gonzman

Dec 16, 2003, 04:17 AM
Why do women like jerks?

Serious biz.  Got a phone call last night from an old friend, who needed a ride.  Seems her boyfriend and her had been out, had a fight, and he went off to the men's room and then just left.  Left her holding the bill, left her at the club, and they couldn't scan her card there.

Pete to the rescue.  Drive 30 miles to get her, off to the bank, she pays me back for handling her tab, and insists I take another 20.  Where does she want to go next?  Home?  Off to hire a hit man?

No.  She wants to go to Wal-Mart.  She wants to get flowers for the SOB.  She wants to be dropped by his house, and when we get there, his ex-girlfriend's car is in the driveway, and the only light on is in the bedroom.  She calls, and calls.  Finally, I told her I'm not letting her make a scene, and take her home, making sure her brother has her keys.

To make a long story short, her biggest concern is how she "pushed" him into this.

Why do women like jerks?

Sometimes I think I'm a jerk myself, but even I, on my nastiest night, would say "Date's over, I'm taking you home, call me when your PMS is over."  Being Blunt and abrubt is one thing - sticking your date with the check, and leaving her high and dry, and then going off and boning your ex?  That's way over the top, even by my reckoning.

And I have been a jerk.  I ran the numbers.  Back in the day when I was the flower of romanticism, I couldn't get a date but once in a blue moon.  Get a little cynicism and bitterness, and start telling women up front, mind you, I am only interested in a piece of ass, and I just about had to hire a social secretary.  Act like a human being?  Nada.  Act like an utter neanderthal?  I damn near had to get a stunt double.

I'm not talking about "You were probably just being confident."  No, I was a jerk.  I kept 3 or 4 women on a string, warned them if they were "porking up," broke dates, told them to shut up because they were there to look pretty, made them call me, dictated terms, and all that.  When told by a woman once she didn't believe in sex on the first date, I told her I didn't believe in having  second date if I didn't get sex - I damn well footed the bill, and if she wanted to "explore the relationship" she could damn well pick up the check.  If I paid, I got what I paid for, or there would be no second date.  Guess what?  I got laid.

When I want me some of that stuff, I turn on the boorish charm, play the rogue, and I guarantee I am not going home alone.  I've learned the best way to get rid of a woman I don't care for who is pestering me is to be nice to her.

So - why do women like jerks?  Or better yet, why can't they just admit it?
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the MEANEST son-of-a-bitch in the valley.

NealGold

#1
Dec 16, 2003, 06:21 AM
The perception of power attracts more than money.
A man conscious of his strength, observes Nietzsche, need have no fear of women. It is only the man who finds himself utterly helpless in the face of feminine cajolery that must cry, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" and flee. The normal, healthy man...still keeps a level head. He is strong enough to weather the sexual storm. But the man who cannot do this, who experiences no normal reaction in the direction of guardedness and caution and reason, must either abandon himself utterly as a helpless slave to woman's instinct of race-preservation, and so become a bestial voluptuary, or avoid temptation altogether and so become a celibate." -- H.L. Mencken on Nietzsche's philosophy of women

Matt

#2
Dec 16, 2003, 06:43 AM
Women are nautrally drawn to jerks for the same reason that anyone is drawn to anything: the perception of value. When a jerk puts off an air that he doesn't need a woman, he creates a subconscious sense that his qualities as a man are such that the woman is privleged to be a part of his life. This sense is reinforced in his every action, which further consolidates his sense of value. And because, as humans, our wants are insatiable, we pine after that which we cannot have.

A man who constantly acts as if he's not good enough for the woman he's with will invariably start to make her believe it sooner or later, and will eventually find himself either in a woefully unhappy relationship or kicked to the curb. I call this the "Nice Guy Dillema". The classic axiom of "I'm everything that every girl says she wants, and yet I can't seem to find one who wants to be with me. Why, the problem CAN'T be with me! Girls must be evil manipulative bitches! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! I HATE WOMEN! I'M JOINING THE PRIESTHOOD!"

As you can probably tell, I went through this stage in my life at one point.  :lol:

What it comes down to is that with the severe deficiency of real men out there, women will be drawn to a "jerk" much more often than a pathetic whining metrosexual.
url=http://www.mattweeks.com]
[/url]

Teddy_Roosevelt

#3
Dec 16, 2003, 06:57 AM
I agree with what Matt said but will also offer up that women's natural instinct to nurture and raise children makes them attracted to children they have to nurture and help raise.

They love to think they can "change" men into the guys they usually dump for being too nice.
Respect is not a civil right; it is an attitude of approval and admiration. No one can claim a "right" to the emotional or intellectual approval of anyone else. " - That I-feminist who writes for foxnews.com

devia

#4
Dec 16, 2003, 07:47 AM
All good points!

I confess to being a recovered jerk lover. I now fondly refer to them as Boo. Boo because they were scary and exciting and it rhymes with I love you.

Because I'm in recovery when I meet a Boo I can be subjective as to why they made me heart thump.

- Outside of a university setting they are a very rare creature. Most men outgrow being Boo's and those that don't often come across as immature over time.

- Those that don't, and can pull off being Boo's take over a room with their personality. They are Alpha and they know it, they ooze power.

- They "need me" (see nuturing). Boo's are often in one way or another self destructive. Although I've curbed the sexual attraction to Boo's I still have a slight addiction to mothering them.

- They are a challenge. They treat other woman like crap but they will treat me as their princess, and their equal.. I will be the woman they respect.

- They ooze sex much like their female counterparts the Jezzebelle. I love the way that Boo's smell.

- They are exciting. We fight, we make up, then we fight and make up again. The demand that you put them on a pedestal.

- They are territorial. It feels like they care greatly because they react so strongly when another man even looks at you.

I was dating a Boo when I met my husband. Although he couldn't marry me, and we broke up about once a week he always came back. Leaving him for my amazing man, even though Corey is a true Alpha (sucessful, responsible, ethical), and sexy as all hell walking away from Boo was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Boo's arn't fun, they devastate your life. They are the crack cocaine of the opposite sex. It's totally rational that once a woman matures she dumps her Boo.

Teddy_Roosevelt

#5
Dec 16, 2003, 08:52 AM
Great post Devia. I just finally put the nail in the coffin on a Jezabelle yesterday.

It's an empowering feeling.
Respect is not a civil right; it is an attitude of approval and admiration. No one can claim a "right" to the emotional or intellectual approval of anyone else. " - That I-feminist who writes for foxnews.com

closetrightyNYC

#6
Dec 16, 2003, 10:29 AM
Jerks will also often act as though they "really care" about you, when in truth that care is conditional.  I have lots of examples from an ex of mine--I love you, but only if you are always in by the time I call you at 11, you pretty much behave as an engaged Muslim woman (zero freedoms except when he's around---and that included Internet message boards like this or lunch with a male friend).  

The thing with my ex was that he appeared masculine and confident on the outside, but inside was the most insecure person you'll ever meet.  Jerks are not masculine, only in facade.
acist, Sexist, Anti-Straight
Left-wing Freaks, Stop your Hate!

Daymar

#7
Dec 16, 2003, 11:14 AM
"Jerks are not masculine, only in facade."

That's why they act like assholes. They're pissed off about something and that causes them to have a nasty demeanor. I knew a guy like that awhile back and I also became friends with his wife. They got married about a year or so after I became friends with him. His wife told me he cried a lot and often came to her begging her to help him. You'd never expect something like that from him. His wife also told me that she wasn't sure she loved him anymore after he had been doing that for a while. But she also complained about how he always had to be a big badass, said with a half smile on her face of course.

FEMINAZIHATEMARTYR

#8
Dec 16, 2003, 05:07 PM
Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh its so hideous.........I need to join Jezebels Anonymous uuuuuuhhhh......I was addicted to them and probably still am but I just havent met any lately. Is there any hope for me? Any advice is appreciated.  :scratchchin:
What good fortune for government that people do not think."
                         Adolph Hitler

"Where madness rules the absurd is not far away."

We must not make the mistake of thinking that all those who eat the bread of dictatorship are evil from the first; but they must necessarily become evil....The curse of a system of terror is that there is no turning back; neither in the large realm of policies nor the 'smaller' realm of everyday human relationships is it possible for men to retrace their steps."
- Dr. Hans Bernd Gisevius
(1904-1974)

Matt

#9
Dec 16, 2003, 05:09 PM
FEMINAZIHATEMARTYR,

http://www.mattweeks.com/1000.htm

Read and be enlightened.
url=http://www.mattweeks.com]
[/url]

FEMINAZIHATEMARTYR

#10
Dec 16, 2003, 05:11 PM
Haha thanks Matt.
What good fortune for government that people do not think."
                         Adolph Hitler

"Where madness rules the absurd is not far away."

We must not make the mistake of thinking that all those who eat the bread of dictatorship are evil from the first; but they must necessarily become evil....The curse of a system of terror is that there is no turning back; neither in the large realm of policies nor the 'smaller' realm of everyday human relationships is it possible for men to retrace their steps."
- Dr. Hans Bernd Gisevius
(1904-1974)

devia

#11
Dec 16, 2003, 05:40 PM
Just remember that every Boo has a Jezebel counterpart. And it really isn't their fault, they were just born that (make everyone weak in the knees) way.

In the end they're not the happiest people. They end up matched with each other, who would wish that on their worst enemy? There are decent (not to say that Boo's and Jezebels arn't decent; love just comes too easily to them much like riches come to a trust fund baby) people out there, you just have to do a wide brith around the ones that make you swoon the minute you look at them.

Don't hate the Boo's and the Jezebel's, just acknowledge that the playing field is not even and because of that you'll never have an equal playing field. Find your equal and leave them to pinups on your walls.

AliciaGoMavs

#12
Dec 16, 2003, 05:54 PM
Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's eye."  --Jesus Christ
NAB Matthew 7:5

Bilbo

#13
Dec 16, 2003, 05:59 PM
Why is it that I'm a total sucker for women who like dashing, generous lovers?  Is there anything that can be done about it?  Discuss.

:mrgreen:
It is impossible to reason a man out of something he was never reasoned into in the first place- Swift

"The cardinal principle of judicial restraint--if it is not necessary to decide more, it is necessary not to decide more."

devia

#14
Dec 16, 2003, 06:08 PM
I'm interesting in a guys perspective on what makes a Jezebel.

Not in the "they take advantage of you way"...but in the why does your heart thump when you meet them way.


I would say...

- They have this way of looking up at you with their eyes even when your face to face.

- They smell good.

- They giggle when you talk.


Just a small list.
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