Nathan DeGraaf - 6 Things Sluts Say When They Want To Have Sex

Started by Captain Courageous, Nov 26, 2010, 07:54 PM

previous topic - next topic
Go Down

Captain Courageous

Nathan DeGraaf writes a great column called "Primal Urges", featured on the Points in Case: The Fine Print of College Life website. I thought you guys might enjoy this piece he published earlier this month. Here's the beginning of it ...

Slut Lines: 6 Things Sluts Say When They Want to Have Sex
By Nathan DeGraaf
Nov 10, 2010 |
Comments (19)

Women are inherent liars. Unlike men, they do not lie about things that matter (like how much they bench press and how much they can drink in one sitting). No, women lie to hide their true intentions. They lie to hide what sluts they are. You see, there's a language that sluts use to let the typical depraved male know exactly when they are down to fuck. Here now is an incomplete list of some of the things that whores say when they want to fuck.

And to think, last week I wrote about inflation.

1. "I used to be a slut."

Yeah, and I "used to get drunk."The chicks who say the above line always have a lot in common: crazy eyes, aggressive and vulgar language, and a few tattoos. But the main thing is this: they are sluts. You see, these bitches will never close their legs, but they have to pretend otherwise. Because they have a boyfriend. Who is nearby. They'll set it up like, "Boy, if I wasn't with Derrick right now, I would totally be all over you. I wish you'd have known me three years ago, back when I was slut."

When the chick says, "I used to be a slut," the man should hear: "I will fuck you the SECOND my boyfriend is five miles away from my cooch."

The moral here is that no one ever used to be a slut. Sluts may be made (not born) but they never convert to prude. That's just the way the world works.

The world also works with oral fixations.

2. "I need something in my mouth right now."

Translation: Feed me cock.Women tend to use this line while claiming to be hungry or while fighting to quit smoking. This one is pretty self-explanatory. If a chick says she needs something in her mouth right now, it doesn't take much of a leap of logic to come to the conclusion that she's really eager to display her fellatio prowess.

When I hear women say this, I usually try to stick my fist in their mouths, which breaks the ice, makes them laugh, and gives me an idea of how wide their mouths can open. It took me years of fucking before I realized that sometimes the best way to get a slut into the hurry-up offense is to out-slut them. But I figured it out. And there's a lesson there, kids (anyone who figures out that lesson wins a free... something Court Sullivan owns).

Speaking of my old friend, Sully...

3. "Can my friend come with us?"

If a chick asks what you think about her underwear or implants, you'll be fucking in no time.
This is not to be confused with, "I don't want to leave my friend," which means you need to find a wingman to take the hit for you pretty damn quick. When I hear a chick ask if her friend can come with us, I make sure of two things before saying yes: that said friend is a female, and that she has no intentions of trying to make me take a strap-on dildo up the ass. What can I say? I'm old-fashioned.

Please note that this does not always mean threesome. I mean, sometimes it means threesome, other times it means the chick will watch and/or just listen through the walls, sometimes the friend is just for protection from rape, and sometimes, if you're really lucky, it totally means threesome.


It's really hot in here. I need to take off something.
It takes time to persuade men to do even what is for their own good.
~Thomas Jefferson

Men don't need women to fulfill themselves spiritually. They only need them to realize they don't need them.
~Henry Makow


What's embarrassing is, all through college, when I was a gigolo on the outside and an introvert on the inside, girls would say all kinds of these things to me and I had no clue they wanted to get down and dirty...luckily I made up for lost time, though.
"If you're going through Hell...Keep Going."--Winston Churchill.
(Sites by KK: www.RockHerWorld.Net,

Captain Courageous

I was clueless especially about the request to talk for twenty minutes.

But then again, I didn't equate having sex with that much time.  :confused4:


I was clueless especially about the request to talk for twenty minutes.

But then again, I didn't equate having sex with that much time.  :confused4:

lol-i remember having sex for over an hour.....

the day the clock changed to daylight saving

Captain Courageous

That was priceless!


To be fair, though, the worst sluts are MEN (and I should know, I am one, it's never been a problem) so DeGraaf should come up with 6 things Men say when they want to have sex:

(Such as)

"How YOUdoin'?"

"Hey, wanna eat pizza and F**K?! Whazzamatta, you don't like PIZZA?"

"Yo, mutha SEX, get on the 'A' Train, and bring me some DO." (I have no idea what that means, but apparently it works for the guy who says it, 'cause he keep saying it.)

"Hi, I'm a famous movie producer."

"F**K me before I KILL again!!!"

"Have you ever had your navel licked...from the INSIDE?"

Apparently I'm limited to 6 lines in this context, but I've got 107 more.
"If you're going through Hell...Keep Going."--Winston Churchill.
(Sites by KK: www.RockHerWorld.Net,


Go Up