Inaction, indifference enable abuseLocal News By LAURA CUDWORTH , STAFF REPORTERSource: StratfordBeaconHerald.comBrian Vallee didn't know what fear was until he met Jane Hurshman.
The investigative journalist went to meet Hurshman in small- town Nova Scotia two years after she killed her abusive husband Billy Stafford.
Stafford was known for his psychopathic rages, but nothing he did in public was as frightening and sadistic as the abuse he practised at home.
As Hurshman was miked for an episode of the Fifth Estate and she began speaking about her experience, the sound technician thought there was something wrong with his equipment. It turned out her heart was beating so heavily and quickly, the microphone was picking it up.
Vallee met Hurshman as a producer for the Fifth Estate in 1984. Since then, he's written the book Life with Billy and The War on Women, a screenplay based on Life With Billy, produced more documentaries and continues to speak around the country about violence against women.
Vallee was the keynote speaker at a forum Tuesday hosted by the Stop Violence Against Women in Perth County committee to commemorate domestic violence awareness month.
Women in abusive relationships often get asked why they don't leave. Vallee said 70% of women murdered by their partners are killed when they try to leave.
Regardless, he said, it's the wrong question.
"We've got to stop asking the victim why she didn't leave and ask the batterer why he's beating her," he said.
Hurshman met Stafford, whom she thought was charming, after a failed marriage. In 1977, she moved in with him. They had a son together, but he had wanted a girl. Hurshman couldn't have more children and the relationship began to turn.
Stafford would fire a gun at her to see how close he could get without hitting her. He knocked her teeth out with the barrel of a gun and once knocked her unconscious and left her on the kitchen floor overnight.
The sexual abuse was unthinkable.
He told her if she left, he'd kill her family one person at a time.
Stafford wouldn't allow their son to cry even as young as six months old. He forced their child to eat so quickly he'd vomit. Then, Stafford would make him eat the vomit.
The night she shot him, he was drunk and raving about burning down their neighbour's house with the neighbours inside.
He passed out in the truck and she shot him in the head.
An RCMP officer said she deserved a medal. While interviewed on the Fifth Estate, the officer said Hurshman probably saved a couple of RCMP lives.
She was charged with first- degree murder. Ironically, Vallee pointed out, men who murder their partners rarely face first- degree murder charges.
Hurshman's case represented a turning point in Canadian history. It was the first time the courts began to acknowledge abuse as a defence and the windows were opened on what was previously a private issue.
As Hurshman said on the Fifth Estate, violence against women isn't taboo but speaking about it is.
She was initially acquitted -- the courtroom broke out in applause -- but was retried and pleaded guilty to manslaughter. She was sentenced to six months in jail but was released after two months.
She committed suicide 10 years after killing Stafford.
In his speech yesterday, Vallee suggested any gains made by Hurshman's willingness to share the very worst of her story and her determined advocacy for others have halted and maybe even faltered.
Funding for women's shelters and programs has been decimated, he said.
"The federal government is telling women to shut the f--- up," Vallee said.
Gender inequality is the elephant in the room, he said.
"If you speak up, you're a Femi-Nazi. You can't say violence against women,' you have to call it domestic violence' -- it sounds more gender neutral."
Vallee said the cost of violence against women in Canada comes to about $4.5 billion in health care, law enforcement, court and other costs.
"Shelters are in the crime- prevention business. The sooner politicians realize that . . . they should start putting money where it belongs. This is the only way we're going to solve this thing."
The number of men killed by women dropped by 70% with the advent of shelters, he said. The rate of women killed only dropped by 25%, he added.
Along with funding for shelters, mandatory gender equality courses should be taught through elementary and high school, he said.
Law schools also should have mandatory courses which include survivors talking about their experiences.
He also was critical of media coverage of the issue noting it's either ignored or buried in the back of the paper.
"Most men don't beat women and don't condone it. Men should speak up because it's the right thing to do," he concluded.
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