I never said any feminist wasn't worth talking to, and I am sure some feminists are truly upset by these cultural trends. However:
~ Mainstream feminism (NOW eg) is silent on these issues, while the offending songs, films, shows, etc are mainstream.
~ Your friends sounds very reasonable, and based on my interaction with feminists, she is not typical. Her views are pretty much the same as mine, except I do not believe in the patriarchy myth.
~ For clarification, the patriarchy myth is the idea that men have ruled society through intimidation and women as a group have been oppressed. The truth is that the wealthy have ruled society through control of resources and brute force (or threat of force), and that the poor have been systematically oppressed up until the industrial revolution. Men and women both have been advantaged by wealth, and disadvantaged by poverty.