On a different forum I answered this question directly. I have already "gamed-out" the responses to the usual barbs and I cut them off at the knees with my response. I hope it's helpful:
I have been asked / told (see answers above): You just want a submissive sex toy.
I laugh & I call that person a bigot. They are a bigot. They ASSUME that my wife, due to her culture or her race is submissive, ignorant, incapable of making her own mind up, and being exploited.
I laugh at the women who say this.
Here is my answer: My wife has CLASS. She is not submissive. When she has a problem with me she waits until we get home, and, behind closed doors, I promise you, she lets me know EXACTLY what her issue with me is. In no uncertain terms. She does not, however (see: SOME American women) make a scene in public, character assassinate a person she claims to love, nor spreads our private business in public. That's called maturity and class - not being submissive.
"Sex Toy" : Let me get this straight. A woman wants me to bind myself to her emotionally, legally, socially & economically. She wants me to desire only her, and to seek intimate pleasure from only her - AND she wants me to feel honored to be in so (emotional & physical) intimate a relationship with her. I agree with this. However, SOME American / Western women then get it into their heads that now that you've got the guy that you can deny him sex, or use it as a emotional prod or weapon.
My spouse has honored me with a level of emotional and physical intimacy that we share with only each other. We do not deny each other affection, emotional or sexua,l for whim, due to vindictiveness, or to "teach him a lesson". Unless I or she is sick or genuinely not in the mood we try to give each other the love and, yes, sex the other person needs.
These same bitter women who call men who find a bride overseas "old disgusting white men" are the same ones who cheer Demi Moore, who think the term "Cougar" is cool, and who think "Sex and the CIty" is a great show.
"These women only want money or a visa" - Yea. Right. (wait, gotta stop laughing) Phew. If that was true then there would be more MEN from other countries trying to marry American / Western women.
Apparently American men are PRIZED as husbands in many countries. However American women are not prized as wives. And spare me the "strong educated women" crap - there are strong educated women outside the U.S. (thinking otherwise smacks of a smug bigotry). Many foreigners will DATE American / Western women, but they won't marry them.
Specifically to Asian-American women ..... Oh-Good-Lord do I ENJOY verbally stomping on these sanctimonious hypocrites.
Typical conversation :
(and, yes, I have done this a NUMBER of times - and relished it each time)She
(Asian-American Sanctimonious Morally Superior Ass-Hat) : "I hate scum-bag dudes who have yellow fever and want some 'asian sex toy' - what's up with those losers."Me
(Intentionally laughing in her face in an exagerated fashion) : "Oh-My-God. You're real. I mean I usually only see caricatures of people like you on TV, but you're real."She
: "What's THAT supposed to mean ... ?? "Me
: "Well, don't be shy about it - it's kinda messed up but at least you're open about it .. "She
: "Meaning what !?"Me
: "You're a bigot."She
: "I'm not a bigot. I didn't agree with it, I was DISagreeing with it" (or some variation thereof)Me
: "No, you're a bigot. And I'll explain" (at this point she's pissed, but intrigued, and crosses her arms and waits for me to say something stupid - and here's where I tear her a new one)
"There is this thing called a 'preference'. We all have them. For instance : YOU - you have preferences, tall short, blond or brown hair, black guy or hispanic or white - but while you 'get' that YOU have a preference, you make stereotype comments about people you don't know, about THEIR preference. Also, and I gotta ask - what do you have against Asian guys? Have you dated any? (her answer is irrelevant - and I press on) because even if you have, in general you've shown that YOU have a preference: Jock, muscular, artistic and empathetic, smart and nerdy, or silent and brooding - and probably have a preference on physical traits too. All of these are perfectly ok when YOU do it, but when a MAN does it ... well (laugh in her face) 'that's different'. So, since you have a PREJUDICE about men whose preference is women of Asian descent, you don't know CRAP about that particular man. In other words, YOU. ARE. A. BIGOT."
From there you play it by ear - but this sequence totally blows their mental conception of what they were righteously indignantly trying to say, and is waaaaaaaay too easy to watch and have a good laught over.
(again - even now, typing it out - I've replayed in my head how many times I've had this conversation with an Asian-American-Princess whose never had her verbiage challenged and they can't believe THEY are getting "put in their place" and being called a bigot. Hilarity often ensues.