Letter written by a heartbroken man

Started by Assault, Mar 26, 2004, 06:00 AM

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Assault

Letter written by a heartbroken man to his estranged wife......

Dear Audrey,

I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I ouldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking.

Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies,it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad any more. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Audrey." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.

Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingoes and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, "Look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed?" Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yoghurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Audrey, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Audrey, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Pontins last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. she said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too, because I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.

She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, she really is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you?

It's true, Audrey. in your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

Otherwise, can you let me know where the Satelite remote control is?  :lol:  :lol:
Feminism is the product of female selfishness, compounded by male chivalry.

- Peter Zohrab -

dr e

You have to admire this man's honesty and his willingness to penetrate the seal of his shallow attraction to the impermanent things of life.  I'm sure he is giving Audrey all that she deserves in his attempts to stroke the old relationship back to life.   :yes:

OMG that post was funny Assault!!!
Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

neoteny

The spreading of information about the [quantum] system through the [classical] environment is ultimately responsible for the emergence of "objective reality." 

Wojciech Hubert Zurek: Decoherence, einselection, and the quantum origins of the classical

PowerMan72

Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan: "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts."

NealGold

Sounds like the guy is living his life as an emotional pinata to any screw-loose woman with an axe to grind and a stick to beat him with...until you get past his first few paragraphs.  Excellent!   :o
A man conscious of his strength, observes Nietzsche, need have no fear of women. It is only the man who finds himself utterly helpless in the face of feminine cajolery that must cry, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" and flee. The normal, healthy man...still keeps a level head. He is strong enough to weather the sexual storm. But the man who cannot do this, who experiences no normal reaction in the direction of guardedness and caution and reason, must either abandon himself utterly as a helpless slave to woman's instinct of race-preservation, and so become a bestial voluptuary, or avoid temptation altogether and so become a celibate." -- H.L. Mencken on Nietzsche's philosophy of women

LSBeene

Holy sheep dip.  I didn't read this thread until just now 'cause I thought it was just some sappy swim in sorrow.  OMG  :oops:

That was just insanely funny.  I was reading this and trying not to laugh so hard that I couldn't keep reading.

GREAT POST man!

Steven
'Watch our backs at home, we'll guard the wall over here. You can sleep safe tonight, we'll guard the door."

Isaiah 6:8
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

tricycle

It's nearly 1am, it's warm so I have my door and a window open - and I am nearly choking trying to not laugh out loud and frighten the neighbours.  

:lol:

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half a pint of throat yoghurt


:laugh2:

Quote
when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring
trange little girl ....

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