Treating your boy as tough guy only makes him weak

Started by PowerMan72, Jul 07, 2004, 09:40 AM

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PowerMan72

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Treating your boy as tough guy only makes him weak
By Celia Hall, Medical Editor
(Filed: 07/07/2004)


Infant boys need mollycoddling and to be treated more like their sisters if they are to grow into successful men, psychiatrists were told yesterday.

Trying to toughen up boys increases the chance of behavioural disorders in childhood and of mental illness in adult life, according to Dr Sebastian Kraemer, a child and developmental psychologist at the Whittington Hospital, London.

Dr Kraemer told the annual meeting of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, in Harrogate, that treating baby boys in a gentler way would have a positive effect on the developing brain.

"You hard-wire in self-confidence that is not based on bluster - a self-confidence that is genuine and doesn't need to be constantly asserted. In other words you will have a more confident but less aggressive male," he said.

He said that if baby boys were treated more like baby girls they would be better at self-control. "Boys would act more like girls, not in a feminine way but more like a girl in that they would be better able to hold themselves together," he said.

"Boys would be less prone to attention deficit disorder and would perform better at school.

"Don't toughen up baby boys. It will not make them tough. Boys are more fragile and need to be picked up."

In a talk called The Fragile Male, Dr Kraemer said that baby boys were more vulnerable than girls, more likely to die in the womb and three weeks behind in development than girls. "Everything that can go wrong in obstetrics goes wrong to boys," he said.

He said that baby boys were twice as likely to have reading difficulties, autism and Asperger's syndrome and to show more disruptive behaviour as girls.

"Boys are encouraged to keep the lid tightly screwed down on emotions and develop hardness, sporting prowess and coolness. This results in poor examination grades compared with girls," he said.

"There is no point trying to toughen up baby boys, it will only make them weak. We should ask parents not to be caught in these gender traps," he said.[/url]
Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan: "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts."

Double Jeopardy

"Tough guy" is a loose term that has many faces. You can treat a boy like a boy, not a girl and get the same results. Letting him cry is good, but letting him cry to get his own way like girls are known to do is not.

There are many attributes to female mannerisms that are not good to incorporate into a boys psyche. This is a conundrum for all psychologists because of the ever changing tides of gender role play in society on a sociological level. Maybe if we wiped the slate clean and men started acting like men (Which doesn't seem to be as much of a wide spread epidemic from a lack thereof), and women started acting like women.

Most of these "Wow, look, if we just keep tweeking our boys, this will create this amusing effect, try it on your boy TODAY!" studies are addressing real concerns yes, but unfortunately they are like cold medicines that treat the symptoms and not the illness.

Society is ill, it needs a cure and it's not always boys who need a remedy.

bluegrass

If you want to raise a confident kid, give them trust.  That's a bottom line truism.

This article is so full of the moral superiority of the female gender, it's difficult to read.
"To such females, womanhood is more sacrosanct by a thousand times than the Virgin Mary to popes--and motherhood, that degree raised to astronomic power. They have eaten the legend about themselves and believe it; they live it; they require fealty of us all." -- Philip Wylie, Generation of Vipers

Double Jeopardy

Right on! Trust, support and love your child. There is no textbook volume 1 for girls and volume 2 for boys. Just love your child and raise them to be respectful of themselves and the people around them. THAT is where this society falls flat on their faces and in turn provides an income for lawyers, psychiatrists, marriage counselors and feminist lobbyists with their sick causes.

Gabriel

Quote
If you want to raise a confident kid, give them trust



Truer words were never spoken. A lot of parents try to live their kids lives for them and put restrictions on the kids in case they might break something, like a computer. However everybody learns best through experience. If you want to raise an emotionally dependent and weak child - never trust them to do anything.

CaptDMO

Without doubt, my favorite-

Quote
He said that if baby boys were treated more like baby girls they would be better at self-control. "Boys would act more like girls, not in a feminine way but more like a girl in that they would be better able to hold themselves together," he said.


I truly hate to see this kind of stuff as it only means one thing. Now I have to research things like
A full transcript
History of previous papers, citations,etc.
Tenure status
Peer review, if any, before publication( this soon after is tough)
Time since last book
English media response, and of course,
Credentials  (combat medics know what I mean)

At first read I say BUNK of course and can only ascribe Dr. Kraemers apparent expertise in Attention Deficit Disorder to the purpose behind this exibition .


dr e

You tell em Cap'n!  Just where did they get this:

Quote
they would be better able to hold themselves together,"


Is that nutty or what?

:roll:
Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

CaptDMO

AAAAGH
Now I AM ticked. Turns out Dr. Sebastian Kraemer is quite a fellow in the Psych world of England.By that I mean kinda like the level of -HRH Society of "Don't F%#K with Me Man"! -Definately worth looking at his previous stuff (fairly consistant). Perhaps an invitation to discuss on this forum( with assurance of non-slaughter conduct) would be the gentlemans thing to do.
I have seen how his stuff has been a bit mangled on the journey from presentation, to news report, to web posting, to forum.

How I truly hate to be on the wrong end of "I told you so....."

Sir Jessy of Anti

Quote
"Boys are encouraged to keep the lid tightly screwed down on emotions and develop hardness, sporting prowess and coolness. This results in poor examination grades compared with girls," he said.


LOL ok....so let me get this straight.  The radical changes to the way we measure grade performance (distinctly feminine btw), has had nothing to do with this?  The curse of masculinity is at fault once again?

Tell me another one, bub.
"The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master." -- Ayn Rand<br /><br />

neonsamurai

Quote from: "Dr Evil"
You tell em Cap'n!  Just where did they get this:

Quote
they would be better able to hold themselves together,"


Is that nutty or what?

:roll:


Today, Dr Stephen Hawking discussed with some of Oxford University's finest brains his theories on Black Holes:

"Black Holes made from imploding stars are much more together" he said. "The event horizon on such singularities may toughen up due to such forces."

When asked what he meant by all this Dr Hawking had a tantrum and had to be wheeled off stage.


Yeah, Captain Scott, Shackleton, Churchill etc. Were all brought up in a different world where boys were boys and girls were girls. I find it quite interesting that their upbringings actually means they were much weaker than the cast of 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'.  :sm12:
Dr. Kathleen Dixon, the Director of Women's Studies: "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech!"

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