Helping the Cause

Started by blackmanx, Oct 31, 2004, 01:03 PM

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blackmanx

I  get  tired  of  the  lack  of  progress  made  by  those  who  claim  to want  to  help  male  victims  of  domestic  violence.   I   started  a  pamphlet  and
fliers  with  info  on  domestic  violence  and  resources  available  to  help  male  victims.   I   put  them   on   my barber's  wall,  at church,  at  school
and  gave  them  to  strangers  on the  street.  

I  want  to  get  the  message  out  there.   Any  ideas  ????
y book, Men's Rights Activists.

http://www.lulu.com/content/418976

The Biscuit Queen

Did you try taking an ad out in the newspaper? Also think of places like DMV, family courts, or other public areas where men are likely to go. I think that womens shelters are allowed to put their pamphlets in government offices.  Maybe lawyers offices?

It is really nice to see someone actually posting about DOING something. Are you in the US?

Sorry, I just read your profile. Has anyone in Mass started a male DV group?
he Biscuit Queen
www.thebiscuitqueen.blogspot.com

There are always two extremes....the truth lies in the middle.

blackmanx

Dude,   yeah.  www.safe4all.org   is   based   in  N.H.   so  it's  close  to  MA.
I  am  a   part  of   it.   I  want   so  badly   to  help   Male  Victims  of   Domestic   Violence  and  change  the  laws  for  the  better.  I  want  to  make  the  rules  fair  to  men,  without  any  dumb  judges,  cops  or  attorneys  making  lousy  judgements.   Seriously.   Good  men  have  suffered   enough.
y book, Men's Rights Activists.

http://www.lulu.com/content/418976

richard ford

Working with abused men is emotionaly exausting and frustrating. You will come up across hostility and wilful stupidity wherever you go and there are few people who can take this day in and day out. If you have been abused in your past then it can be even more difficult.

My advice would be to concentrate on funraising for a shelter even if it is in another area. This will be useful and is interesting to the media in a non threatening way. You may be able to get a group together in this way.

Good luck.

blackmanx

Thanks.   I  am   helping   DAHM  (Domestic  Abuse  Helpline  For  Men)  get  a  shelter.   I  continue  to  hand  out  flyers   with  information  aimed  at   helping  Male  Victims   of  Domestic  Violence.   I   hand  them  out  to  men and women,   straight  people  and  gay  people,  wherever  I  go.   I've  gotten  a  lot  of  positive  responses.   The  most  common  response  someone  gives  me,  whether  male  or   female,  after  reading  the  flyer  is  "It's  True".   I  think  that  some  progress  is  being  made  in   people's  minds.  A   lot  of  folks  realize  that  females  can  be  very  violent   toward  males   and  stuff.    In  fact,  many  people  think  that  females  are  more  likely  to  hit  first.   I  find  myself  agreeing   with  that.    I  will  continue  to  hand  them   out.   I've   given   hundreds  out   already.
y book, Men's Rights Activists.

http://www.lulu.com/content/418976

richard ford

Well done that man!

My own aproach right now is to fundrase by collecting used stamps and sending them to a the Mankind Initiative (UK based).

I am probably in a worse state emotionaly than you so I cannot get into arguments with denying men (it never happens) and abusing women (but they deserve it!) often these two types are in relationships with one another so you can see your future clients as you argue with them about the value of what you are doing.

I avoid this sort of thing by doing what the femminists do. They never discuss anything but move ahead as if agreement had been reached. In other words I simply start fundrasing and it assumed that the need is there.

I avoid direct contact with victims but I am talking to two men who became clinicaly depressed after running helplines on their own.

CaptDMO

Quote from: "richard ford"
Well done that man!
My own aproach right now is to fundrase by collecting used stamps and sending them to a the Mankind Initiative (UK based).


Used stamps?

Quote

I avoid direct contact with victims but I am talking to two men who became clinicaly depressed after running helplines on their own.


Anonnymity in mind, are you willing to share what pitfalls these gents had, that we may see them comming ourselves?

blackmanx

Thanks  for  the  info,  guys.   I  appreciate  it.
y book, Men's Rights Activists.

http://www.lulu.com/content/418976

richard ford

CaptDMO,

I think I know what you are asking.

Men who try to help victims of domestic violence tend to be codependent. This means they are strongly motivated to help others and give and give and give. Often this has atracted abusers into the life of the giver (an abuser is someone who will take and take and take so there is a good match there.)

The man who is most motivated to run a helpline is therefore least equiped to deal with it emotionaly. He will experience the pain, helplessnes, disbelief of the victim over and over again because this is how he felt while being abused. He will not limit his giving in any way or protect himself emotionaly because he has a need to give and cure the pain of others.

Codependents get a bad press but they are people who are too good for this world basicaly.

If you tend to be draned by people who latch on to you then you should think carefuly about victim support. If you have been abused yourself then be doubly safe.

richard ford

Used stamps have value. I suppose they go to overseas stamp collectors or something.

The real point of asking people to collect them is to get them involved. I doubt I have rasied much cash.

CaptDMO

Um, yes....
you answered several things. Understood!
In other matters,fresh from early victory,I myself have fallen in the hole of 'Champion without armor'.

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