I saw a banner directing me to this site:http://www.seeitandstopit.org/
It's a noble cause, to stop violence in teenage relationships. The banner said something like; 'He feels he owns her', so I thought I'd pop by and check out the misandry. However most of the wording was like this:
- Do talk to the abuser if you feel safe doing so.
Talk about your concerns and refuse to accept any excuses. Be clear that you are still a friend, but you disapprove of the behavior.
- Be there, listen, and stay there.
You may feel like a broken record but you'll be surprised at how much of what you are saying is getting through.
- Do recognize and praise the good behaviors.
- Do encourage them to be honest.
Show your support when they are.
- Do help them clarify their feelings.
Explain that possessiveness and jealousy are not love.
- Do understand that abuse is a CHOICE.
Help your friend understand this. Abuse is a learned behavior.
- Do encourage them to talk to a counselor.
Go with them if that's what it will take
All very gender neutral, so I thought they might be doing a positive thing. Oh how naive I was. Once you've given your email address to them, they'll give to access to their online 'toolkit'. Here's a link to some of the posters you can download to put up in your school:http://www.seeitandstopit.org/getorg/gallery.html
There's also some movies and an mp3 radio advert to listen to, but unfortunately I can't access any of it from work. However, from what I can see of the posters in the toolkit, all bar one seem to portray boys as the abusers, with titles like:He Pays Attention to Her
He Thinks of Her
He Hits on Girls
The only one where the abuser is a girl, she is abusing her female partner. Sure, I've not read the *.pdf's that you can download, or the full factsheet, but the posters are typically ignoring that this can happen to boys as well. If they'd had stuff like this at my collage, targeting boys who are suffering as well, then I wouldn't have spent two years thinking that being punched by your girlfriend for being 'bad' was wrong.