Maybe, We really are Pigs!:)

Started by daksdaddy, Nov 22, 2004, 11:05 AM

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A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
Men are like that, you know.
t is perhaps a terrible thing to say, but "rights and freedoms we are not willing to fight for are rights and freedoms we don't deserve."


Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan: "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts."


LOL!!! Awesome joke!!  :lol:  :lol:
Feminism is the product of female selfishness, compounded by male chivalry.

- Peter Zohrab -


A church was in need of a new pastor, so when the next Sunday came around, they had three applicants stand before the congregation and give a "mini-sermon".  The congregation would then vote on the best.

The first applicant stood before the congregation and said "Brothers and sisters, the good Lord made man strong and stout.  He sewed him down the front, but left the thread hanging out."

The congregation mumbled to themselves and looked rather confused.

The second applicant stood before the congregation and said "Brothers and sisters, the good Lord made woman strong and stout.  He sewed her down the front, but the thread ran out."

Now at this point the congregation was really confused.

Finally, the third applicant stood before the congregation.   "Brothers and sisters, I'm just so happy I could shout!  I'm thinkin' 'bout the place where the thread ran out!"

He got the job.
i] We drank our toast to innocence,
We drank our toast to now.
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness,
But neither one knew how. [/i]

Alpha Male

There was a very exclusive church in town that many people wanted to join. In order to keep the size of the congregation down to a manageable limit and to ensure that the members were truly committed, the pastor would impose a fast on the applicants.

The newest group of applicants consisted of three couples and the pastor imposed a three month fast on sex.

The first couple returned after ninety days and the pastor asked them how they did.

"Well, Pastor, we're in our sixties. It isn't that we don't have sex anymore it's just that it isn't that much of a priority and, well, it wasn't really a problem. We made it just fine."

"That's great." said the pastor, "Welcome to our church."

The second couple, a pair in their fourties, came in next and the pastor inquired.

"You know, Pastor, our sex life is far from over. That first month wasn't easy. Nor was the second or third for that matter. Still, we managed to follow the fast."

"I'm glad you made it through. Welcome to our church."

The third couple came in. They were newlyweds in their twenties and the pastor inquired.

"We tried, Pastor, we really did. The first month was a living hell! The second month I had cold sweats and was walking around with a continuous erection. By the middle of the third month I couldn't take it anymore. I threw her up against the refrigerator and had my way with her."

"Son, we are all tempted by the flesh. I understand completely. But I'm sorry, you are not welcome here."

"Yeah, that's what Safeway told us too!"
ies come in three types: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics


HA ha!! Keep 'em coming guys, these are great!  :lol:
Feminism is the product of female selfishness, compounded by male chivalry.

- Peter Zohrab -

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