...on this site, thank you! This is hard for me to say because I loathe admitting that the Internet provides me with emtional support, but you have helped slowly restore my appreciation for womanhood.
Seriously, I was beginning to feel like women weren't good for anything but putting me down. Sometimes I feel like a barometer to their success. "Women reach their full potential when they surpass men," I catch myself thinking.
This board has served as the tangible proof I've always needed that women can present their perspectives and problems without the pity party, and more importantly, without resorting to unfair or jaded comparisons with men.
It's undeniable that women as a whole are better at some things than men, but you remind me that the strengths women have really can be used for positive, constructive, genuinely unselfish things.
Without further ado, here's to you:
For those of you that might be too "hardcore" for lollypops (drummer girl), you are more than welcome to come visciously rape me (drummer girl). :wink:
...repeatedly.
Just in case you're curious (or have a lot of time to kill), I'm here because I was raised in a very sexist family (the women firmly believe all men are pigs). Example: There's a magnet on my grandmother's refrigerator that says, "Marriage is just proof that a woman can take a joke." Because of this, I entered adulthood with an internal self-hatred that I can't even begin to describe (and had the self-image confusion that a schizophrenic would have), brainwashed by people that I thought I could trust.
Not only that, but my ability to empathize with women was nearly destroyed. When I read about rape or domestic violence or the women in the middle east, I don't feel anything. I'm numb. I knew this was a bad thing, so I read a bunch of material about respecting women to try and train myself to be more compassionate. What a tremendous mistake! Talk about humiliating! All this did was remind me that I'm such a bad man for being so insensitive.
Even as I write this, I have to stop and think long and hard about each paragraph because I've been taught to "suck it up" and "just get over it" for so long that the thoughts keep banishing themselves to my subconsciousness. It's almost like losing your place in a mental book.
I understand that women deal with a lot of shit and they need the support they're being given--the dv shelters, the protection of rights, etc. I try not to be resentful of it because if there hadn't been a need for it in the first place, it wouldn't be here. But until I found this site, I didn't think anyone realized that it is next to impossible for a man to find this kind of support.
...even if it's a hug with an "I know how you feel."
There's no place to go for men who feel worthless in the shadow of women.
Damn I feel like a pussy for doing this behind a computer screen, but then again, that's what I am. I went through childhood thinking men are supposed to be strong and courageous and other simplistic shit like that. Well, here I am, a 5'9" 140lbs (in other words, not exactly buff), slow-witted coward. Where do I belong? I don't even excel at the stuff that men are expected to excel at, so essentially women are better than me at everything. Horay! Shit on me.
Then there's that god-awful "women are psychologically stronger" belief that makes me feel like a complete waste of sperm for even having these issues.
I avoid letting my feelings rear their ugly heads in person because I fear being used as an example of a classic wuss. "Hey, here's a weakling! See, you should respect women because men aren't all that strong. Pfft!"
For any of you that read all of this, sorry. I pity you, lol. Nevertheless thanks. I'll probably add more later (harrypawedher=sympathy whore) but I have to go pick up my dad from the mall (he's old and can't drive anymore).
