I am truly beginning to love men

[Peter]

I have always appreciated you Mary and I am happy that there exists the ones like you and other great women on this board.

[no2fembots]

Contrary Mary, I am happy for your personal growth that has come about, in part, thanks to your relationship with the "T".  But, I am curious about how specific or generalized your new found enlightenment is.

I have met women who have waxed poetic about men, much like you, once they found their own "T".  Yet, these very same women would turn (revert?) into the most man hating beehautches when their relationships went south.  As if all their new found understanding was case specific.

Would you feel the same towards men in the event you and "T" split up, especially if it was "T" who pulled the plug?

Please don't get me wrong... I wish you and yours only the best!  But I have met many, many women as I describe above.  (I used to live in Victoria, BC where there was a 2:1 ratio of females to males and I worked in the hospital industry - lots of females there!)

Regards,

[contrarymary]

Would you feel the same towards men in the event you and "T" split up, especially if it was "T" who pulled the plug?

Well, I had two husbands pull the plug on me, and I didn't hate men then...just wasn't very fond of those particular men.

I definitely appreciate men more now, though.

But I have to be honest:  Who knows?  We all like to think we'll behave well in the future, but that isn't always the case

[no2fembots]

Would you feel the same towards men in the event you and "T" split up, especially if it was "T" who pulled the plug?

Well, I had two husbands pull the plug on me, and I didn't hate men then...just wasn't very fond of those particular men.

I definitely appreciate men more now, though.

But I have to be honest:  Who knows?  We all like to think we'll behave well in the future, but that isn't always the case

I have come to appreciate your honesty and wisdom, CM.

Regards,

[Roy]

It's heartening to know that CM has a renewed faith in men, apparently because of the "T-factor."

Men, however, tend to think more theoretically, in the abstract, about the general tendencies of the female species.

(And there's the feminazi legal apparatus that surely affects men's thinking about women today --- men realize they are potential PREY!)

Possibly interesting line of discussion?

Women are looking for the ONE man that will suffice .... meeting all her MANY idealistic needs. (I have no actual clue what they are or whether any given female could reasonably define them...)

Men appear to be coveting the MANY varieties of the ideal female and typically, eventually, experience disappointment in the ONE.

I could be persuaded to argue that men, in general, experience women as just another category of experience....  nothing especially personal about it...

is that misogynist?

[Alpha Male]

Men appear to be coveting the MANY varieties of the ideal female and typically, eventually, experience disappointment in the ONE.

I could be persuaded to argue that men, in general, experience women as just another category of experience....  nothing especially personal about it...

is that misogynist?

Hmm...
That's feasible. I don't think it is misogynistic either.
Societal conditioning. It doesn't just delude women.
We have these preconcieved "hollywood" notions of what marriage and women are supposed to be.
That little dream world bubble will ALWAYS get burst.
The source of "disappointment" would probably vary between all of us depending on what you were expecting. And I think that men definitely can be a bit more... casual (for lack of a better word)... in the way we experience and react to things.
When I read the posts of men, here and other places, I would lump the lion's share of their disappointment into one category. Betrayal and treachery from their partners. Most everything else we let roll off. But not that.
IMHO men shouldn't try to draw their sense of self-worth and purpose from another person. Even your spouse. Eventually, as you say, she is going to disappoint you. She is only human. Just like any of us.

[contrarymary]

I'm sorry, I'm not explaining myself well.  So I'll try to be succint (not easy for me).

Very depressed after divorce two.
Really only hated myself.  Didn't hate men.  Didn't even hate him.
Met T.
T. tells me his nightmare w/false allegations.
I believe him immediately.
I start researching.
I find many sites about that subject, somehow I end up here.
I read experiences from men; started to understand their experiences, problems and pain but really only because of T.
I think T. is wonderful.  The connection between me beginning to want to understand men is because of his experience rather than my own. Well, okay, my positive experience w/ him makes me realize men are not always the enemy.  I am ashamed to admit this may not have been the case otherwise.

If T. dumps me, I would like to think I would continue in my growth.  But who really knows?

[Roy]

C.M. --

The connection between me beginning to want to understand men is because of his experience rather than my own.

Yes, I'll buy that. Honest statement.

Please, however, dump your "guilt."

It'll only contaminate your future.