Interview with author of 'Rantings of a Single Male'

Started by Mr Benn, Mar 20, 2005, 03:43 PM

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Mr Benn

Interview with Thomas Ellis, author of 'The Rantings of a Single Male'

Over the years several men's movement 'classics' have been published. The first men's movement book I read was when I was about 16, in the early 1990s, it was called Iron John, and I remember finding it fascinating, and unlike anything I had come across before. Other men's movement books of note include 'The myth of male power' by Warren Farrell, 'Sex-Ploytation' by Matthew Fitzgerald, and 'Predatory female' by Shannon Lawrence.  These books - and other like them - are generally excellent, but they are (in comparison to the vast library of feminist texts) too few and far between.

Now comes another addition to the men's movement cannon, and boy is this one the most politically incorrect and hard-hitting yet.

'The Rantings of a Single Male' by Thomas Ellis is not for the faint-hearted, but then neither is life in the 21st Century.

The book is essentially a memoir of the author's encounters with women over the last several decades, interspersed with commentary on the excesses of feminism. Its subtitled: Losing Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness... and Basically Everything'

The book is an excellent read, and every father should get their late teenaged sons to read it, to open their eyes to the oceans of female insanity that lie out there in the modern world, just waiting to drown them.

Here are some representative quotes from the book:

"If women like money being spent on them, they love money being wasted on them."

"In relationships as in sex, women always seem to be on the receiving end."

"As a general rule, women won't have sex until you've spent at least as much on them as you would on a whore."

"American women are against legalized prostitution because they know they wouldn't be able to sexually deprave men as effectively."

"Counseling is for women - prison is for men."

"The problem is, women don't love us, they love the relationship entity itself."

"Women treat animals like people, and men like beasts."

"Feminists are worried that sports give men a competitive advantage in life."

"It's getting to be that men need advanced degrees in abnormal psychology and gynecology just to have a girlfriend."

"Men don't fear commitment, men fear ambiguity."

I recently caught up with Thomas Ellis and talked to him about 'The Rantings of a Single Male'...

Darren: Hi Tom, thanks for the opportunity to interview you. I certainly found your book a most interesting and often humorous read.

Tom: Glad you enjoyed it.

Darren: What made you write the book? How long did it take?

Tom: It all started 5 years ago while I was having a drink in a bar with my friend Mac. We would sit around exchanging stories about all the pathetic experiences we had with women that week. I'd often dredge up some of my more sensational examples to make him feel better. At some point he said, "dude, you ought to write that stuff down!" Within a month I had ten pages of random thoughts. From that point the book had a life of its own. After 2 years I had an outline 150 pages long. Then I happened to get laid off from my job as a software engineer, which gave me time to do more research and write the actual material. I thought since I had an entire outline, I would crank out the book in a few months, but the first completed draft took 2 years. I ended up throwing out all but a few sentences I wrote in the first 6 months. I was quite painful, but it had to be done. After the first draft was finished, it took another 6 months to finish the editing, rewrites and revisions. Then another 4 or 5 months to do the layout, get it printed, and up on Amazon.
Darren: The one idea from the book that stood out for me was your notion
that while men are goal-focused, women are more obstacle-focused. Can
you briefly explain for my readers what you mean by this?

Tom: I've noticed for a long time that women often pursue activities they have no real interest in, driven by an obsession to prove something. There's always some obstacle they want to confront, the actual goal being secondary. Sometimes the obstacle is fear, or sometimes it's a sense of inadequacy. In case you hadn't noticed, in the last 30 years, their favorite obstacle is now - us. They set us up as oppressors, then get angry and go out to do all that stuff we keep them from doing. Most women don't want to play golf - unless they're somehow spiting us oppressive men in the process.

Darren: I often think that women will act as bad as men let them get away
with. In other words: do you think feminism made women act this way,
or is it also the fault of men becoming too weak and tolerant?

Tom: Society has emphasized to women that they shouldn't put up with insults and derogatory statements of any kind. Men have received the opposite message - that denigration of our character and sexuality is great fun. Much of this comes from TV and movies. Men are so used to doing whatever will make women laugh that we've gone along with all this. I don't think the problem is that men are weak. Too tolerant - definitely. But generally, men have sunk into a coma of resignation. They're vaguely aware of all the bullshit in their lives, but assume nothing can be done about it.

Darren: How have people reacted to the book?


Tom: The response from men has been very enthusiastic. While I was still writing the material, I had several male friends poo-poo the whole idea of a man writing about feminism and relationships. But once they start reading they recognize lots of situations similar to events their own lives. They've become converts, and it's quite gratifying, especially since some of these guys haven't picked up a book in years. It makes me feel like I haven't been wasting my time. I have talked to men who are uncomfortable with what I have to say. They have no use for my blasphemies, and certainly no appreciation of satire. Especially men who have been trained to avoid anything that might upset their wives. To them, expressing their own opinions is just not worth all the maintenance.


Darren: And how about the female response?


Tom: I haven't gotten very much feedback from female readers, because they tend to read a page or two and then not speak to me for several months. But then, I don't really care what women think of it. That's part of the whole point - stop defining yourself in terms of what will gain you female approval.


Darren:  So, as far as you know, no women have actually read your book yet?


Tom:  Well, I know of one woman who has read the whole thing, but she's a men's rights activist I met at the Men's Rights Congress last year. I'd never met one before.


Darren:  I know what you mean, they are quite rare. What was her take on it?


Tom:  She thought it was too tame. She said, and I quote, "it's not nearly, you know, hard-hitting enough." I was quite taken aback.


Darren:  And she was serious?


Tom:  Totally serious. She thinks I'm letting feminists off too easy. And here I thought I was so unrestrained! It was a phenomenal experience to meet her.

Darren: Another subject that you cover is how modern society has become a
sort of 24/7 cheer-leader dance of celebrating and promoting women's
achievements, but it all seems a bit too desperate, a bit too fake, as
though women have a complex about the fact that they aren't as
competent in many fields as men are.  Will women ever come to terms with this?


Tom: Most women will always want more credit than men for doing less. They will always want lower standards and higher recognition. And they want everyone to pretend that none of this is true. There are very few women with the ovarian fortitude to confront this and reject the absurdity of different equalities. There are also plenty of men lacking the necessary fortitude to challenge women on this. Wouldn't want to hurt their feelings now, would we?


Darren:  What advice would you give to young men today?


Tom:  I've been asked for advice a lot since the book came out, and it seems really strange to me. It's like asking someone for advice on flying because they've crashed the most planes. So, I guess I can advise on what not to do. Don't focus so much on meeting a woman's needs that you neglect your own. Don't sacrifice your own viewpoints just because it makes her so happy when you concede to her. Don't tolerate psychotic behavior no matter how good she is in bed. If she even mentions feminism, women's studies or male oppression, run like hell. Don't believe her when she says she can't get pregnant - always use a condom. She can get out of it, you can't. Don't let a woman, her family, or society pressure you into marriage if that's not what you want. Also, don't get married unless you're willing to accept that you will have less sex, that you will be expected to apologize for everything no matter who is at fault, and that most likely, your wife will feel unfulfilled no matter what path she chooses. That said, give them a shot. Just understand the risks you are taking.

Darren: Realistically, do you think things are going to get any better/worse in the next 5 years?


Tom: I really don't know. Change happens slowly and most men are still very complacent about their own well-being. The good thing is, I've met lots of intelligent young women from the current generation, and they don't seem to have any interest in feminism. The bad thing is, they've picked up all the anti-male taunts and  from TV and movies, and it's part of their psyche. And it's getting more common for young women to experiment with lesbianism. I have a feeling that the current generation will be setting rules for their teenage daughters that sound something like, "Remember, be home by 11 o'clock, and no sex other than oral sex - and only with boys."


Darren: I'm sensing that you're not a big promoter of the lesbian lifestyle.


Tom: Well, I do consider lesbian encounters detrimental to men and women getting back together. Sure, I'm very libertarian and I believe people should be able to do what they want - but there's just something unsettling about girls having sex with each other. Unless, of course, they're both really cute and they let me watch.


Darren: Yeah, yeah, I guess I set that one up...


Tom:  But seriously, things will only get better if we make them better. And that means standing up for our rights and our dignity - both in relationships and society.


Darren: Well thanks very much Tom. I wish you the best of luck with your book, which I highly recommend to my readers.


'The rantings of a single male' is available via www.amazon.com
ww.CoolTools4Men.com

PowerMan72

Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan: "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts."

InternetDevil

Well, the author has much much much much more courage then I.  He does not play the "good guy" act.  My main problem was trying to challenge the system without enough courage.

Awakened

Nice Interview! I could definatly relate to many situations Tom described in his book. And I too am interested in hearing a non-MRA female opinion of his work. But I have a feeling they would just write it all off as whiney or chauvinistic since they are conditioned to view us as oppressors.

realman

Sounds like a good book. I do question what he says about don't get married unless yo can acept that you'll have less sex. I question this because a.) I have seen statistics indicating that married folks have more sex than singles, and b.)Lord knows most single guys don't get much sex unless they're in an established relationship (if you belive the statistics the OPPOSITE is true for women, at least for young women). I think maybe he's playing into the stereotype of the sexless married couple a little too much here. Either that, or maybe the group of people that gets the most sex are the "unmarried but in an established relationship" category?

personally I would venture to guess that the people who get the most sex and the most satisfying sex are those few married couples who truly have a relationship that works. Granted, such couples are few and far between...

Sue

"Other men's movement books of note include 'The myth of male power' by Warren Farrell, 'Sex-Ploytation' by Matthew Fitzgerald, and 'Predatory female' by Shannon Lawrence. These books - and other like them - are "

a heck of a lot easier to read than


Daniel Amneus'es "Garbage Generation: The Consequences of the Destruction of the Two-Parent Family And The Need to Stabilize It By Strengthening Its Weakest Link, The Father's Role"

Available on-line at:

Upstream

Warning:  the man uses 3-syllable words, and evidently takes for granted that his readers possess enough gumption to consult a dictionary here and there.

Galt

I'd like to add to the book suggestions above:

Esther Vilar, The Manipulated Man:

link

This is a book from decades ago, and the (female) author actually got death threats from women (housewives) when she went on the Johnny Carson show to promote her book.

Galt

Quote from: "Sue"
Warning:  the man uses 3-syllable words, and evidently takes for granted that his readers possess enough gumption to consult a dictionary here and there.


LOL.  I never got beyond 9th grade, so I can't battle with you.  The man who is supporting you is probably much better educated than I am.  But I have to note that your books revolve around keeping the status quo of a man paying for a woman.

Probably just coincidence.

Stallywood

From the book:  
Quote
"The problem is, women don't love us, they love the relationship entity itself."



This is what I truly believe. I tried to put it into words, on another thread but it is done here. This is one reason why I think it is so easy for alot of women to be able to turn on you when the relationship isnt what she wants.  Or conversly why a woman will stick with it when the man thinks it is over. THE RELATIONSHIP is whats important. the man just provides her with one.

Stally
Gentleman is a man who consciously serves women. I prefer the golden rule.

Behind every great man, is a
parasite.

Women who say men won't commit, usually aren't worth committing to.

realman

Stally,

I think there is truth in what you speak. For woman, she is often  in love with being in love, not with the man she "loves". Hence if man "makes her feel" in love, she "loves" him. If he doesn't continue to make her feel "in love" she leaves because she's "not in love" with him anymore...

I honestly think many men and women are incapable of real love...but I also think a man is, if he has been with one woman for a while, is on average more likely to "love" and a woman is more likely to "be in love with". I also think that for women this ofetn creates a self-destructive cycle...they want to keep feeling "in love", but when reality comes along they lose the "in love" feelings, and instead of loving they demand for him to keep her feeling "in love"...when her requests for more romance, more attention, etc. are not answered (and why should they be...likely her man has been loving her all along and not gotten much real love in return) she digs in...the complaints begin, when he reassures her of his love but refuses to cave on her every whim the complaints turn into nags, and she is now in fact  pushing her man away in her efforts to "bring him closer". Eventually he just tunes her out, at which point both sides have dug in for the long winter...

I realize this is generalizing but I think there is some truth to it...

Further supporting this viewpoint, many women seem to approach marriage as the goal and the man as the means of getting it, and seem to talk about "relationships" in the same manner as they talk about hobbies or jobs...not as intimate relationships with another human being...

Just my $0.03..

realman

Just realized an interesting parallel between how women seen to view relationships and how women seem to view men's bodies sexually. Seems like women like sex but "sexy" has more to do with what he does for her than her genuine sexual attraction to the reality of his physical being. Whereas a man (unless he's really desperate!) is attracted to the reality of a woman's physical being, not what she does for him. A man appreciates a woman's body sexually for what it is, and desires it for what it is...a woman appreciates a man's body in the same way a man appreciates a good work animal (maybe in today's world it's more like a dump truck than an animal?), and appreciates his body in a sexual sense primarily for the reaction his body can bring to her.

Matt99

hmmm, i dissagree realman. Our sexual preference is simply what suits us biologically. you tread on risky ground by saying that men love womens bodies for what they are, whereas women only love mens bodies for what they can do/ what pleasure they can bring to them.

in reality both genders are victim to your "dump truck" analogy. women like strong defenders of nests, earners, leaders, capable men to give good genes that will give the baby the best chance of survival. Men are not different to this. they look for a capable mum, one with good facial motor skills. us guys also look for big breasts (signs of fertility, so we are more likely to get them pregnant). both genders love each other for what they can do for them.

incidentally, in case everyone dident already know, human females are the only mammal to keep their breasts all the way through adult life. other animals breasts only emerge as they give birth and actually require them for child rearing. it is speculated that this is because humans walk on two legs, and breasts imitate the buttocks of a four legged animal, just at eye level for us guys who also walk on two legs (unlike what the media tells us)

Galt

Quote from: "Matt99"
Men are not different to this. they look for a capable mum, one with good facial motor skills.


Umm, I'm not sure that I've ever sought out a woman specifically for "good facial motor skills".  Unless maybe you're thinking of something else.

Anyway ...

realman

Matt99, point taken although I respectfully disagree. I don't give a rats arse about fertility I only like big breasts because they're fun.  :shock: An analogy to what I said abotu women would be if I found a woman sexy because her breasts fed my child and she cooked my dinner. While I'd seek a woman who was capable of thsoe things and would do them, they would not from my basis for sexual attraction.

What I am really driving at is that modern women largely seem to be cut off from their primal desire for the male body...that of course assuming they ever had it? (if we think in terms of animals there is little need for female sexual attraction to males...the males only need be attracted to the females, and the females then appreciate (i.e., mate with) the males who can best provide for her and her offspring; while this may be true of human females, I'd like to think that we as humans with our highly developed brains and our abiloties to reason and to feel, are not still entirely goverened by this most pragmatic biological approach which would give women no reason to feel sexual attraction for men...and I don't think we are, seeing as modern women do not spend their days barefoot and pregnant attending children and picking berries and cooking while we men hunt wild animals...)

Matt99

some good points realman,

you hit on another interesting area in your argument.

Quote
What I am really driving at is that modern women largely seem to be cut off from their primal desire for the male body...that of course assuming they ever had it?


constantly i see women who "invent" a sex drive for themselves. either to attempt to impress a guy, fit in, or do the whole girlpower thing. anyone else find this?

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