Giving up beauty.

[richard ford]

Female researchers wanted.

I read an article in a national newspaper some time ago when a western woman took to wearing the veil just to see how it felt. She found it quite liberating. She felt protected and respected by every man she met (offering their seat to her more than normal and so forth). One reason for this may be that she was no longer trying to control them through beauty.

Beauty is double edged. It brings power but it is time consuming and pits you in a power struggle with every other woman around. It also tends to retard self reliance as most problems are dealt with by others.

Worst of all it fades far too early, leaving the beautiful woman without an identity.

Is there any women who would like to try giving up beauty?

No make up, comfortable clothes, no diets (yippee!).

Friendships based upon real closeness with men and women. No tearing down other women. No manipulating men.

Anyone want to try it?

[The Biscuit Queen]

Um, yeah, been doing it for years. That fleece with the dog hair is my usual attire.

I dropped out of the beauty rat race for exactly those reasons-and it feels really good. My husband likes how I look (he is great that way) and I get to be comfortable and shop at the salvation army, with occasional splurges to EMS.

I haven't worn makeup, or even owned any, in 2 or 3 years, and even then it was very rare.

I always felt that women were choosing to kill themselves over looks, not men. The men don't care if you have makeup on or not in many cases. If all woman stopped wearing makeup, then men would certainly adjust. Women just use men as an excuse to continue thier rat race.

[Sue]

The sad thing is, most the women around these parts go about in public bummy jeans, faded sweats, or worse, lime-green stretch pants - stuff i won't wear even when shoveling gravel off a flatbed.   That, and stacking firewood (or patching the roof) can be done in a long comfy (reasonably attractive) dress, without any problem - been there, done that, will be doing again, and again.   That's life around here

Giving up on being reasonably attractive?   No way!  My Husband deserves better than to be seen with a wife whose personal appearance proclaims to the world, "i don't give a flyin' f* that i look like crap warmed over. "  

By the way, i gave up makeup years ago.  For two reasons.   Number one:  NOT worth the expense.   In 1984, eight dollars for ONE tube of mascara, and it lasted one month (was so ticked).   Had enough, and had quit wearing it - period!    That was scary too.  Being in my 20s, i was seriously afraid that no man would ever want to date plain-jane me.   But, i stuck to my guns, anyway!

Reason number two:  it's a sin to buy unnecessary things which cause pain and suffering to animals.   By the way, somewhere in (think it's) Proverbs, there's a passage that goes something like this:  "a man cares for the life of his beast."   I could be wrong, but i take that as we (men and women) are supposed to care for animals - that they weren't put on this earth for us to squander (on makeup and other garbage).

By the way, I did buy a leather handbag - and used that same handbag day in and day out for TEN years.   When it broke, i decided i had enough of paying $120 for something made in slave-land.  Since then, i buy handbags at second-hand stores, (Goodwill, Salvation Army) for far less.  And they're nice too.   Won't be caught dead with something that looks cheap...no way Earlene!

Beauty is important.  Anyone who thinks otherwise has a problem, and would do better to fix it - or take a flyin' leap!

[The Biscuit Queen]

Sue, you missed the point. I do care about looking nice, I just won't join the beauty rat race.

Looking nice-taking care of yourself, bathing, wearing clean, matching cloths which are fairly flattering.

Beauty rat race- different style- ie new wardrobe-every year. 100 pairs of shoes, a huge bag of makeup, hair products, spending an hour on hair and make up a day, $70 perms 2-3 times a year and $30 hair cuts every six weeks.

Most men love long hair. We go out of our way to cut our hair in every imaginable trendy form to please.....eachother. If we really wanted to please men, we would all have waist length hair with nothing in it so it felt really good.


It sounds like you aren't in the rat race, but you still are playing it-being critical of other women's choices. My best friend is in the rat race, and bully for her. It makes her feel good. She can respect that I am not like that, which makes her a rare breed. The thing I dislike about most women who play the game is not that they do things differently, but that they look down apon those who won't play as less. Pretty much high school behavior.

I just wish feminists  would admit that this is all for other women. If they bitch that men don't ever notice that they got a new outfit or haircut, then obviously the man was not the intention, or they are too stupid to pay attention to what the man would notice.  I find that simply asking for attention *gasp* gets attention, rather than depending on consumerism to get it for me.

[angelssk7]

Beauty rat race- different style- ie new wardrobe-every year. 100 pairs of shoes, a huge bag of makeup, hair products, spending an hour on hair and make up a day, $70 perms 2-3 times a year and $30 hair cuts every six weeks.

Sounds just like my sister, though you forgot the monthly nail styling at $20-40 a pop.  :lol:

Beauty is double edged. It brings power but it is time consuming and pits you in a power struggle with every other woman around. It also tends to retard self reliance as most problems are dealt with by others.

Worst of all it fades far too early, leaving the beautiful woman without an identity.

Is there any women who would like to try giving up beauty?

No make up, comfortable clothes, no diets (yippee!).

Friendships based upon real closeness with men and women. No tearing down other women. No manipulating men.

Anyone want to try it?

You have the makings of a fine researcher Rich, with ideas like this one, and the many others you have come up with on your site. When the first Men's Studies department opens on a campus, you'll have to apply.

[Sue]

"Most men love long hair. We go out of our way to cut our hair in every imaginable trendy form to please.....eachother. "

Dear Biscuit Queen,
        A few years ago, had kept mine quite short.   After awhile, i finally got a brain and realized, that the cuts were cutting into the budget, AND into precious time.   With it short, the very first thing i had to do, upon waking, (and before my first cup of coffee  :evil: )  was washing and blow drying (the electric company must have loved that
        I can't agree more with you about it being a total waste having scores of shoes, and compelling husbands to sink megabucks for baubles, is plain wrong - especially since that money is better suited in a savings account for the couple's old age.  
        Unfortunately, too many wives don't think about the future...of possible, if not probable, layoffs.   Or the reality that when men get into their 50s or so, working the docks or driving truck becomes more difficult, if not painful.
Sue

[realman]

I find it interesting that most women seem to fall into either the manicure/fashionable/trendy/name brand/makeup set, or seem not to care at all how they look and basically dress/look like bums. Interestingly both seem to be able to attract men?

I would much rather that women look nice and take care of themselves and show they have enough slef-respect to look good, but not be all wrapped up in it. If she keeps her hair long, throws it in a quick ponytail, bathes every day (except when camping or something), shaves the appropriate locations, dresses in clothing that is fairly simple yet flattering to her figure (and occasioanlly dresses up really nicely), addresses any particular hygiene/appearance issues (i.e., regular dentist visits, plucks the occasional stray hair from her face, etc.) that is pretty much all that I would expect in terms of personal appearance upkeep (although I will admit that for a "romantic encounter" I'd generally like to see a little effort expended above and beyond plain cotton...). I have a strong feeling most men would agree with me...when women are buying designer clothes, have closets full of shoes and cabinets full of makeup and keep their hair cut and perfectly styled and get their nails manicured, they are NOT doing it for men. OR if they are it's a misguided effort!

[The Biscuit Queen]

real man, exactly. What pisses me off is that the ones who go overboard usually think that those of us who don't fall into the slob catagory, and that they are doing us a favor by trying to recruit us.

Maybe we enjoy having an extra hour a day to ourselves, and more money for other things.

The ones who are slobs get slobs as boyfriends. I suppose someone has to date slobs, why not other slobs?