Ok, this may be a touchy subject for some people, but I honestly would like some feedback.
When dealing with my children, my policy has ALWAYS been about being honest and open about everything that affects them in thier lives. If they ever had a question about something, they knew if they asked Dad, he would give them an honest no-bullshit answer.
Having said that, I have been honest with my children through my divorce ordeal and the events that happened. Including, me slapping thier mother once, her falsely accusing me of all sorts of heinous things, why thier mother simply left one day for a month, etc.,
I've been chatting with my daughter through e-mail, and I've noticed I haven't been getting responses for tha past few months. I suspected that my ex wife was erasing my communications with my daughter.
Here's is my latest e-mails from my daughter and I;
hi dad. my competion in kingston is in may. can you come? how have you been. I have been fine. i would really like it if you could come see me. wanna konw my results for my last competion. i got 1st on floor, 5th on vault, 6th on beam, and i got 8th on bars. hope you can come. buh bye
And my response:
Wow! Congratulations! That's pretty awesome that you did so well, I'm proud of you!
I'd love to come watch your competition in May, but I can't come if your mother is going to be there. I don't want her to be making up lies and calling the police on me again. Someday I'll explain everything to you and you'll understand why I don't trust your mother at all.
So, if your mother's gong to be there, then I won't be. If she's not going to be there, then I'll come.
I miss you Taylor. You should have seen me about a month ago, I shaved my head right BALD!!! HA ha!! It was great! I'm letting it grow back for now, but I really liked it bald, and it felt awesome.
I then recieved this from my ex wife:
she won't be seeing this email, just like the last one you sent....so if you'd like to respond to her in a mature way w/o your bullshit...I'm sure she'd love to hear from you...if not, fuck off
I sent this exchange to my probation officer (Who I don't get along with at all) and he sent me this in reply;
I would have sent the same reply.
You e-mailed your daughter, filled it with still unresolved venom, and you tried to use your child to direct anger at her mother. Now you e-mail me perhaps expecting that I might see that Leah had done something wrong. Grow up.
Your daughter reached out to you in her e-mail. She's proud, happy and wanting to share her accomplishments with her dad. You respond by calling her mother a liar, while putting out a whopper of a lie yourself. I don't think you have any intention of seeing your daughter's competitions. If you did, you'd reply differently. You'd contact me to see how a thing like that might possibly be arranged. You'd make an ounce of an effort to see how your attending a gymnastics competition might somehow be arranged in a way that didn't breach probation and didn't ramp anger up between you & Leah further. You'd have already taken steps to get a separation agreement worked out that would specify your access. But you don't. You just send back messages you know only Leah will read so you can keep making everyone sick with your anger.
So, my question is, am I in the wrong here? I think I'm just being honest, but I'm getting confused. And as for my probation officers response, I have no idea what the hell he's talking about! I don't know what lie I told, and as for a seperation agreement, we're divorced. Our terms have been spelled out for two years! I don't know what the hell he's saying. :?
So, give it to me honestly. Am I being an asshole? :roll: