DR Phil and DV

Started by bluegrass, Jun 07, 2005, 12:36 PM

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bluegrass

It appears Dr Phil just did a piece on DV and actually did a segment on women who abuse their husbands.

There's also a discussion board where people are talking about it.

www.drphil.com
"To such females, womanhood is more sacrosanct by a thousand times than the Virgin Mary to popes--and motherhood, that degree raised to astronomic power. They have eaten the legend about themselves and believe it; they live it; they require fealty of us all." -- Philip Wylie, Generation of Vipers

Shades of Pale

It's good that this guy is actually even *showing* DV against men, though he clearly doesn't deal with it evenhandedly.  Probably at this point it's as much as we can expect from the MSM.

Abused woman:
Quote
Dr. Phil asks Michelle if she understands that the abuse is not her fault.

"Yes and no," Michelle says, explaining that everything she reads says that this isn't her fault, but she realizes what she does pushes Aaron to go there.


Abusive woman (who is endangering a 9 month old baby I might add):

Quote
"Do you do things that you know are going to trigger her?" Dr. Phil asks Adam.

Dr. Phil reiterates that Adam is not responsible for Erin's actions, but he is responsible for his own. "You call her 'psycho' and 'crazy bitch,'" Dr. Phil says. "You know that that really gets to her. So what is it you are trying to achieve when you do that?"

"I'm trying to make her realize that maybe she's acting like that," Adam explains.


If my wife were constantly tearing into me with her nails, kneeing me and twisting my pecker, I'd call her a crazy bitch too.

Anyway, if you read both of these synopses you'll see there is a hell of a lot less sympathy for the male victim.   In fact, the male victim actually feels sorry for his wife.

Davie_boy

Quote from: "Shades of Pale"

If my wife were constantly tearing into me with her nails, kneeing me and twisting my pecker, I'd call her a crazy bitch too.

Violence is the great equalizer.

Unfortunately, it's been taken out of the hands of men. It's an effective de-balling by the courts.

Dr. Phil doesn't realize that verbal violence is this man's only course of action at this point, which never really does the trick with violent people. Of course, he's probably tip-toeing around the issue to avoid anything that might get his ass canned from the network, so I'll at least give him one star for being pragmatic.

The woman needs a healthy pop to the mouth, or an arm twisted up behind her back until she's begging for mercy. I know this is an unholy thing to say, and five years ago I would have been aghast that someone suggest physical violence against a woman . . . but it wasn't men that killed chivalry. And, unfortunately, the laws of nature seem to say that violence must be met and confronted with violence.

Alas, one more reason not to marry.
eminist free since 2002.

Galt

I think, Davie_boy, that the proper course is for neither party to physically assault the other one.  Anyone who has a wife who is doing that to him has to get out of the situation (run, don't walk).  Yes, you may wind up forking your money over to a woman who physically abused you - and you didn't do anything back.  I don't understand why it's that way either, but maybe its a sort of "tuition" - you learn not to get involved with that type of woman again.

Davie_boy

Quote from: "Galt"
I think, Davie_boy, that the proper course is for neither party to physically assault the other one.  Anyone who has a wife who is doing that to him has to get out of the situation.  Yes, you may wind up paying a woman who physically abused you - and you didn't do anything back.  I think that's a sort of "tuition" - you learned not to get involved with that type of woman.

Given the current laws, I agree whole-heartedly, Galt.

As far as "tuition" goes, most of us learn the hard way, Galt. Like I said, it wasn't men that killed chivalry. And, I was going to add a bit about watching for warning signs  to my original post, but I didn't. I've paid my dues in the relationship game, enough to know that any kind of pinching, slapping, or hitting (no matter how benign) usually goes hand and hand with a mean-spirited or downright abusive personality. It's a red-flag I watch for now.

My point remains, though. The woman needs a bop in the mouth. Instead, the courts back her poor behavior, and so the man must decide whether he wants to go to jail and lose half his money and probably his visitation rights or just lose half his money.
eminist free since 2002.

Galt

Quote from: "Davie_boy"
Instead, the courts back her poor behavior ...


I know, and that's why we've got this age of "entitled princesses".

Shades of Pale

I'm watching this episode now.   He's going on and on and on about how this woman needs to decide, needs to stand up for herself and decide that no way is she going to tolerate this abuse.   That is actually what she does need to do.

How come I didn't see any similar admonitions to the man who is being abused?   In fact, the only time he talked to the man about standing up for himself and refusing to take it anymore was not in reference to himself at all but only insofar as it affected the baby.   In other words, it wasn't a big deal that the man was being abused and harmed, it only became something to stand up against when it affected the BABY and then the man was admonished severely that he had to stand up and protect the baby.   So far as I can tell at this point he is never admonished to stand up for himself per se, but with the abused woman he's going on and on about nothing else.  Why the disparity?

Davie, she sure does deserve a pop in the mouth.   It would be self-defeating for him to deliver it though.   He should probably secretly tape a bunch of attacks, showing that he's not even retaliating, and use them if and when needed.

Davie_boy

Quote from: "Galt"

I know, and that's why we've got this age of "entitled princesses".

Dated a few of those in my day. One is too many.
eminist free since 2002.

Galt

Quote from: "Davie_boy"
Dated a few of those in my day. One is too many.


There doesn't seem to be a shortage of them.

I don't hear people complaining that "there's not enough entitled princesses around", so there must be an adequate supply.

LSBeene

Guys - as a moderator I must remind you that SYG does not wish it's members to become advocators of violence against any group.

Steven
'Watch our backs at home, we'll guard the wall over here. You can sleep safe tonight, we'll guard the door."

Isaiah 6:8
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Kelly B

Todays show!!! here's the opening tag line!

"Every nine seconds a woman is assaulted and beaten by a man she loves. In fact, physical abuse occurs in two-thirds of all marriages at least once. Why is domestic abuse so rampant and how can the cycle be stopped? "

Cooked statistics again. if these numbers were true we would have
3,540,00 abuse victims just this year, all of them women. This does not even count the men. While you all are right that it is a refreshing change to include a female batterer, his "old Texas" chivalry really shows. He really did give a whole nother spin to his advice to the man. I keep hoping he will get it, but after the Bridget Marks debacle, I have lost hope. His audience is women watching daytime tv and Oprah. Nuff said!
 don't visit my children, I raise them!

"Let us not assassinate this man further, Feminist. You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency ma'am, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?

Arte Grey

I thought he did a better job at exposing the female DV perp from several weeks ago..  http://standyourground.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5521

He wasn't very hard on this one at all and her case was eclipsed by the other case.  He wasn't hard on her until it came time to question her about how close she'd come to abusing the baby.  Here's the page for today's (Tuesday, 6/07/05) show.  Click the javascript links for the segment transcripts:
http://www.drphil.com/show/show.jhtml?contentId=3055_abusers.xml
Dr. Phil's advice for stopping the abuse.  (Aaron and Michelle)
How is Erin's rage affecting their son?  (Erin and Adam)

Hmm... the perp's names are similar in pronunciation, Aaron and Erin. ..  How coincidental is that??

This is the book he is pushing for today's show:  
When Good Men Behave Badly
Dr. David Wexler
The Relationship Training Institute
www.RTIprojects.com

..and the agencies...
Related Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE (7233).

For more information, use a safe computer to visit:

Tubman Family Alliance
www.stopfamilyviolence.com
Help Line - (612) 825-000

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
www.ncadv.org

National Domestic Violence Hotline
www.ndvh.org

Medline Plus
www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/domesticviolence.html
size=9]Jiminy likes chirping with the "ground crew,"  leaving the high-climbing to the "superheroes."  Jiminy sez, beware the "Black Widow" type feminist spiders that could be lurking anywhere...[/size] [size=9]Remember Mark Bogan and the "Courthouse Cricket Caper," 5/11/05 - Link...[/size][/i]

Davie_boy

Quote from: "Arte Grey"
This is the book he is pushing for today's show:  
When Good Men Behave Badly
Dr. David Wexler
The Relationship Training Institute
www.RTIprojects.com

Oh, God. I picked up a copy of this book some weeks ago and perused it while I was at the bookstore on a Sunday afternoon. It was quite infuriating. But then, like Oprah and Dr. Phil, this guy knows how to pander to his audience.

The book is one big shame fest.

Well, to be fair, the author fairly adequately explains the role that shame plays in a man's life. However, he fails to offer any adequate methodology for dealing with shaming, and instead chooses to engage in it himself (hey, if it's effective, why not use it). The author seems to have no capacity to create a vision of what a man could be, but rather chooses to paint a picture of what men "ought  to" or "should" be.

Of course, the book is found in the self-help section of the bookstore, where more women than men tend to prowl.
eminist free since 2002.

Kelly B

Pander is not the word that seems to come to my mind. Pimp is so much more satisfying
 don't visit my children, I raise them!

"Let us not assassinate this man further, Feminist. You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency ma'am, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?

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