Angryharry I absolutely agree. I am very concerned for my own son in this regard, and he is well aware of the perils of today's legal landscape. We have known broken-hearted men who have lost their wives, children and homes. I see many more online. No doubt it is a huge risk, one that can only be offset by knowing very very well just who you are becoming involved with. And even then you could end up screwed.
Galt, I know what you are saying, yet again it's a false dichotomy. For one thing I can't judge my own wife for not being on the brink of a Nobel prize because I sure as shit never had one in my own sights, on my own horizon. Well raised children are an accomplishment in themselves, and if that's what some people choose to do with the bulk of their lives (their most productive years) it's fine. That doesn't make them money-grubbing parasites, either. It's just a false dichotomy.
Thanks for acknowledging that cookies and conversation may both be possible
But anyway, let me just take a different tack before I shut up. Presumably you have heard much (though you haven't been through it and I haven't personally been through it) about men who have had their wives divorce them, and thus lost their wives, children and homes. Presumably there is SOMETHING that these men found in their lives, with their wives, homes and children, that was good, that was desirable. Something that even if they didn't quite attain it, was at least hinted at. There is SOME reason they are so devastated. There is obviously something good that they are losing, something they wanted. Or they would just say "I'm well rid of all that nonsense." Now I'm not trying to speak for them, I'm just asking you to think about the fact that it isn't for nothing that men do not initiate most divorces (and that isn't because of the unjust legal landscape; the average joe isn't usually thinking about that if he really wants a divorce.) But men less often WANT a divorce.
Now I'm going to tell you why that is, and I'm not saying there is a surfeit of good women available with whom to create a good marriage. I'm not saying I have any kind of superiority because I found a good wife. I'm merely trying to describe and explain what so many men are actually seeking...even though so often they end up not getting it.
Proverbs 31 explains it. After the *mother* admonishes young men NOT to give their *strength* to women, it goes on to explain:
The Virtuous Wife
10Who can find a virtuous[c] wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29"Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all."
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
I will now shut up and let the words speak for themselves, as well as let everyone else do their thing.
