An interesting conversation

Started by devia, Aug 01, 2005, 10:45 PM

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The Gonzman

Quote from: "devia"

Gonzokid- Sorry but you're still completely missing the point. He does/enjoy her, she does/enjoys him. Neither is hitting the love spark for each other. What's he missing, what's she missing, this would be a conversation. What she is lacking is not, what he is lacking is not. Between the two of them who's going to say "I LOVE YOU" first.... Neither. They are peers.

Again I think you're just lacking in the understanding of the male-female spark. Listen to a lot of Dylan and maybe it might become clearer?

When I think of you, or AngryHarry my first though had been what does this guy want? Do they want a 50/50 work/home partnership? Yes/no equality or no.

Well, at this point in my life what this man wants from a woman is nothing more than to be left alone.

I think the whole love and romance is vastly overrated.  More people than not - men and women alike - are more in love with the idea of "The Relationship" or addicted to the rush of new infatuation than anything else.

Such patnerships don't work out.  Houses on sand, and all that.

Compatibility?  Define it, in a neat little one size fits all package.  Some people have no room in their life for drama (I would be an example).  Some thrive on it.

Sex?  I can have six with someone I despise (Though there is a corresponding level of what I will say "Hotness" that goes up with the level of dislike to make it worth my while).  I can't see living with them, though.

Merely liking someone is no basis for the rest of one's life.  I like my friends.  I wouldn't marry them.  If there is an indifference in abscense, drifting apart is inevitable.  There is no need.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the MEANEST son-of-a-bitch in the valley.



I'm remembering your recent run in on another board now.

I thought: F off, the guy is honest about how he feels and it is how he feels. Is he supposed to pretend otherwise to feed your need? (or something like that).

Still feel that way, but your comments on this thread make me wonder if you want company in your own box. You can't understand what makes a man love a woman, then why enter a discussion on the topic.

Not saying that  you don't have the right, I'm just wondering what the point would be if you can't fathom the idea.

(Just read your last sentence)

My apologizes for saying that you have nothing to say on the topic. (I'd just edit but it's been up for an hour or so).

Yep, no need means no spark imho. Question is what makes a man need a woman. I believe, as it is what my husband has told me is that feeling that they are needed makes them need back.

Double Jeopardy

I was always under the impression that everyone needs to be wanted and wants to be needed. One is pointless without the other, ying & yang and all that neat stuff.

The Gonzman

The whole idea, though, is that for the life of me, I'm just not able to see myself as an  - emotional? - necessity.  PC has made me, an ostensibly white guy, a societal inconvenience.  Add into it the current wisdom that runs about these days that a "Man needs a feminine touch in his life to complete him" while "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" and...Hell.  We're training our fourth generation of girls to think that way.

Relationships to me are an intellectual exercise at best anymore.  I'm not someones ATM, or handyman, or breathing dildo, or emotional tampon, or anything else like that.  Are there women who don't think that way?  Sure are.  All taken.  Women my age what are single got some serious baggage - if I'm not living up to a ghost, I'm answering for the collective sins of men, and either way I just don't have the patience to try anymore.  When I do, I keep it superficial, don't build up expectations on either side, and avoid the endless string of disappointments.

One thing I know, though - if you are not necessary to someone you are living on borrowed time until they find someone who is necessary to them; and vice-versa.  There's a big difference between "Happy to see you" and knowing that when you walk in the door the sun has just risen for them.  And people can tell this, at least when they don't lie to themselves.

Whatever the case, though, it's a game for the young, and the un-cynical.  At a certain point it just becomes too late to worry about it, and that future is now for me. I'm too old a dog to learn a new trick.  And I may not know what's right, but I can sure tell you what is wrong, and that wrongness is when a person in a relationship is an island unto themselves.  The moreso when there are two of them
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the MEANEST son-of-a-bitch in the valley.


Quote from: "devia"
Not sure how you got "that is exactly" out of what I wrote considering she has nothing to do with either of your labels for women.

She does appreciate his company when he's around from everything we've seen and heard. She should be pthe perfect women for a guy like him (who's not around all that much), because she just gets on with her life when he's not.

Yeah, the women is aways perfect, so there is always something wrong with the guy.



If I had written the perfectly politically correct entry, I would assume it would have said, "They should be perfect for each other".

However, the guy involved is family, and the woman though she seems like a nice enough person I really do not know, I cannot speak towards him being right for her.

Hence, I said, "she should be the perfect girl for a guy like him", based on what he has said to us about her. I would argue that nothing about that statement has anything to do with her perfection, or his imperfections as human beings.

GIRL GOOD, BOY BAD...........nothing to do with the topic I raised. I was however impressed by the responses the topic got.

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