Started by richard ford, Aug 08, 2005, 07:15 PM
Why do women consider simple human faults that they tolerate in themselves as huge failings in men? Why the double standard?
Women will create drama simply to provoke the man they love and see that he will not put up with nonsense. When she finally succeeds in causing him to become angry and lay down the law in some mater she will often become extremely sexually aroused. This is a fantasy of control. The woman is seeking about a man who is able to control her and who she feels able to obey with confidence. It is only when she meets someone who is able to control her that she feels safe. She is able at last to let go of all her fears and become the loving person she wishes to be.
Why do women consider simple human faults that they tolerate in themselves as huge failings in men? Why the double standard?Women always say that men do not listen to them....1. Women criticise men for not reading their minds. 2. Women criticise men for not knowing everything. 3. Women critics men for not standing up to them.
Women's Greatest Secret. By Richard Ford.If we tune in to women's conversation or media we might well imagine that women have a very low opinion of us men. We might hear that someone's boyfriend had been insensitive and had handled some upset or drama in her life badly. We might learn that some man was unable to do something at work better than the woman telling the story and that therefore he was useless. We might hear that men are weak, useless or contemptible, or we may hear that men are selfish and violent. This continues hour after hour day and night. It seems that women never tire of hearing this stuff and never tire of speaking it.What is a man to make of it all? Is he to agree with it? Or some of it? Quite possibly he knows men who make the very mistakes they are accused of. He knows men are capable of stupidity and violence because all human beings are capable of evil. Yet the sheer volume of complaints tell him something hysterical and irrational is going on. The women have a complaint that is off the radar somewhere and the constant harping is only a symptom of a deeper malaise. If a woman is criticising a man then she will find herself unable to end her nagging no matter how many of her demands he satisfies. Often she will become more angry the more he tries to please her until she ends the relationship because she is aware she has become a monster- and yet she cannot help herself. Often women will select jerks as boyfriends simply because they can control this destructive streak and bring out the good in her. Why do women consider simple human faults that they tolerate in themselves as huge failings in men? Why the double standard? Some men eventually become angry at this and have nothing more to do with women- angrily saying that we do not need them. This is a sincere reaction but not a natural one. It is not that we do not need women but that the pain they cause us is greater than any likely reward, but the gap remains. The men who have made the decision to go their own way in life are following a tradition that has been available for thousands of years. Sometimes this has involved becoming a sailor, sometimes a priest, but a significant minority of men have found peace this way in all cultures.A solution that works for an individual may not work for a society. Celibacy, like homosexuality is a choice that men should be free to make- but not options for the human race as a whole. If we do not intend to become extinct then we will just have to find a way of dealing with women.Women always say that men do not listen to them (as if they ever listened to us!) so I would like to go back to the denigration of men and see if we can work out what the real pain behind it is. The complaints may be bogus in most cases but the pain is real- something is driving this insane behaviour and it is not resolving.Here is a short list of them.1. Women criticise men for not reading their minds. A man is supposed to be able to tell what a woman wants before she does and supply it before she has even worked out what she wants herself. If she ever has to ask for anything then he does not love her.This is a complaint that the man is not God. The woman is fantasising that a man might be so superior to her mentally that he knows where her thoughts lead before she does. In this fantasy she is not only completely loved but completely controlled. The woman is seeking the same level of trust that an adoring dog has for his master. The dog does not need to worry about his needs because his master has provided for them in advance.This explains why woman become more critical and destructive towards men who seek equality with them- they are not seeking equality but love. Equality frightens and frustrates them.2. Women criticise men for not knowing everything.A woman will denigrate a man behind his back for not knowing things she freely admits she does not know herself. If her car breaks and he cannot fix it then this is his stupidity and not hers that she blames.In other words she expects him to be an all knowing guru who will give her direction at all times. She expects her man to be wiser and more intelligent than herself.3. Women critics men for not standing up to them.Women will create drama simply to provoke the man they love and see that he will not put up with nonsense. When she finally succeeds in causing him to become angry and lay down the law in some mater she will often become extremely sexually aroused. This is a fantasy of control. The woman is seeking about a man who is able to control her and who she feels able to obey with confidence. It is only when she meets someone who is able to control her that she feels safe. She is able at last to let go of all her fears and become the loving person she wishes to be. It is because women are so stared of good, loving control in our culture that they seek out the company of abusers. Abusive men are usually weak men who are incapable of truly controlling themselves let alone a woman, but this is often the only sort of control available to them so they settle for this. So, now I have revealed what I believe to be the greatest secret of our age. Women desire the loving, protective control of a strong man- in fact many are desperate for it. You will be surprised how few women will argue with this when you put it to them in a respectful way.
My last girlfriend used to (jokingly) scold me for not reading her mind. I Also got it for not knowing everything (that's my own fault really, I did tell her I knew everything and was always right). I've never had a woman get upset at me for not standing up to them.
This is not innate in women....