Ok, I have a few minutes.
Because there's nothing else for me to be.
Do you need something to be? How about saying "I am for equality." Say what you actually are for, instead of an ISM.
I realize that sounds like me saying, "Without a herd, I am lost!" but that isn't what I meant. What I meant was, when people ask me specifically if I am a feminist, they will assume, if I say no, that I am against equality for women. Which would be VERY PECULIAR given my life history. If people don't bring up the f-word
themselves, I say, "I am for equality."
I fit the dictionary definition of the word, and there is no other word that means that.
This is SO key. Feminism does not fit the dictionary meaning for itself in reality. Feminism is about getting more perks for women, more money, more grants, more laws. Feminism is now big business. It is not about equality now, if it ever was.
I *know* it was at one time, at least. I believe that the roots of it still are, that that's what the average feminist-on-the-street is for. Feminist organizations...hmm. I am inclined to agree with you there.
SO again I ask, do you need to fit neatly into one word? We are very complex, we humans. I think attempting to find one word to describe yourself is a mistake. I am a men's rights activist, because I believe that men's rights need to be fought for. But I am also a mother, a dog trainer who believe in positive training, I am a bull breeds supporter, I try and minimize my effect on this planet, I believe in organic production of meats and vegetables, I believe in lots of things. There really is no one word which fits me.
I am a lot more than "a feminist" myself. But I suspect that's the dynamic of me that's of most interest to this board.
If I turned my back upon feminism, it would be like spitting in the face of all the feminists who made my personal achievements possible.
The original feminists, the ones who fought for sufferage, I believe would be appalled at what is happening today in their name. I truly feel like I am upholding those original women's vision being here standing up for the ones who are really getting shafted rather than pushing the interests of already privilaged upper class white women.
I can really empathize with that point of view. I am very sure that the original feminists, for instance, would keel over and die of shock at the sight of our modern-day abortion statistics.
I don't like some of the ways it's heading now, but I can't in all conscience abandon it altogether.
Again, right on target. A plant has a disease in your garden, one which spreads and infects other plants. Sometimes you can cut off the branches which have the disease, and save the plant. Sometimes the whole plant is infected, and the only way to save the garden is to cull the plant. That does not mean the plant itself as an idea is bad, it means that particular plant is bad.
Feminism is that plant. It has gone to far and already has infected the educational institutions, government, judiciary. I do not believe those things are beyond saving, but feminism is. It no longer means equality. You would be better off abandoning it, help society cull it.
(sigh) I"m thinking about it. But I don't believe right now that it's beyond saving.
Does that mean you cannot support women? Not at all. Individual women, just like men, will always need help. It means that maybe you should go to the grass roots efforts and help there. Volunteer for a hotline, find a child to mentor, work in a homeless shelter. These are the places that need the help, not the organism which is feminism.
I do actually do a bit of volunteer work.
You remind me a great deal of when I was just starting to look at the concept of men's rights. Except I got MAD. Dave and I had lots of arguements about it, I just could not stand the thought that everything I had believed in was a lie. That I was not a victim? That men were not in charge? Don't you dare tell me that.
But he was right.
Hmm...perhaps that's where we differ. I don't get angry when people don't agree that I'm a victim.
Actually, I prefer they *don't* think I'm a victim--I tend to try to emphasize my achievements, not my deficits. I was fairly victimized as a child and adolescent, but not solely by men--I was also victimized (gad, I
hate that word) by women and by poverty and by being a little too advanced intellectually and a little too retarded emotionally--etc. etc. I wasn't left hating men and I wasn't left thinking that all the crappy stuff that happened to me, happened because I was female. Unfortunately, there was some crappy stuff that did happen to me because I was female. I really can't go along with a chorus of "oh, females have it all, *males* are abused victims!" Some males *are* abused victims. But so are some females.