Can You Actually Have a Relationship with a Feminist?

Started by Roy, Nov 19, 2005, 12:03 PM

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lkanneg

Quote from: "IMHO"
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It is more the sign of a feminist. I know very few men who would use such a passive aggressive ploy.


Exactly Dr E - I'm tired of her passive-aggressiveness which I noted from her first few posts.  I think Ikanneg came to SYG thinking she could pass off feminist rhetoric without anyone noticing -


Aw, c'mon now.  You seriously think I came to a site heavily loaded with MRAs and thought that when I said feminist stuff, nobody'd NOTICE?  Of course I thought everybody would notice.  If I'd wanted my feminism to go unnoticed, I would have either not mentioned it or pretended that I was trying to give it up or something.

Quote from: "IMHO"
then she came up against articulate and accurate criticism which she could not refute or deny - only pass off with the usual distracting anecdotes of  "well, to counter your claims, I once met a man who...."


Yes, imagine using real life experiences to refute the claims of others.  How, er, weird.  :)

Quote from: "IMHO"
on preview: Sir Percy - I think you need to read through some threads where Ikanneg has come out with blatant misandry - I called her out on it a few weeks ago


(sigh) No, you didn't.  I've never said anything on here that was blatant misandry.  I don't hate men.  I think you do actually know that I don't hate men.  I think you're confusing "misandry" with "refusing to subscribe to the theory that men are innately and/or in practice better people than women."  

Quote from: "IMHO"
She is not as passive as you'd like to believe.  And I say this wishing you were right about her.


The second sentence is sort of nice, if I'm understanding you correctly.  If you want to like some things about me, you should go for it.  That doesn't mean you have to give up your hatred of feminists or your dislike of me in other areas.  The world's much more shades of gray than it is black and white.  I like stuff about you too, even when you spend threads going on and on about my evil feministness.  :)
quot;Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

"Something which we think is impossible now is not impossible in another decade."
-- Constance Baker Motley

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."
--Janis Joplin

dr e

Quote from: "lkanneg"
Quote from: "Dr Evil"
Sir Percy you are surely a kind gentleman.  I wouldn't give any round to Lisa until she goes back and does the research she has promised to do and gets back to us on the issues which she has left hanging.  Until then I wouldn't give her squat.  She simply ignores the issues when it is convenient.  That is not the sign of someone who is interested in debate or learning more about a topic.  It is more the sign of a feminist.  I know very few men who would use such a passive aggressive ploy.  I know many feminists who would be more than happy to do so.


(sigh) It's difficult to hang out at a place where the head honcho makes no bones about his blatant hostility towards you personally, Dr. E.  It's also unmotivating as far as going back and searching through literally hundreds and hundreds of posts to find every single thread I didn't finish responding to.

Tell ya what.  Since you spend an infinitely greater amount of time here than I do, if you go back and compile a list of all the questions I said I'd get to that I haven't, and put them either here or better yet, in a new thread so we stop derailing this one with discussions revolving around me (which you've said in the past is a behavior you find annoying :) ) then I will do my best to answer them.


If by "blatant hostility" you mean holding you responsible for your own words then yes, I agree with this.  

Asking me to go back and gather up all of the times you have ignored arguments or promised that you would get back to us reminds me of an irresponsible child.  "Daddy, will you do it for me???  Please??"   I would much prefer to treat you like an adult Lisa and encourage you to do it yourself.  One of the saddest parts of feminism is its obsessions with rights and its turning a blind eye to responsibilities.  You are mirroring that for us Lisa in this request.  I prefer to allow you to clean up your own mess and go back and search yourself.  That is what a mature adult would do don't you think?  

We will all be waiting.
Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

SIAM

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then she came up against articulate and accurate criticism which she could not refute or deny - only pass off with the usual distracting anecdotes of "well, to counter your claims, I once met a man who...."


Yes, imagine using real life experiences to refute the claims of others. How, er, weird.


Using one exception to "refute" and deny common behaviour is not terribly useful Ikanneg. It's a diversionary tactic which you use all the time.

lkanneg

Quote from: "Dr Evil"
Quote from: "lkanneg"
Quote from: "Dr Evil"
Sir Percy you are surely a kind gentleman.  I wouldn't give any round to Lisa until she goes back and does the research she has promised to do and gets back to us on the issues which she has left hanging.  Until then I wouldn't give her squat.  She simply ignores the issues when it is convenient.  That is not the sign of someone who is interested in debate or learning more about a topic.  It is more the sign of a feminist.  I know very few men who would use such a passive aggressive ploy.  I know many feminists who would be more than happy to do so.


(sigh) It's difficult to hang out at a place where the head honcho makes no bones about his blatant hostility towards you personally, Dr. E.  It's also unmotivating as far as going back and searching through literally hundreds and hundreds of posts to find every single thread I didn't finish responding to.

Tell ya what.  Since you spend an infinitely greater amount of time here than I do, if you go back and compile a list of all the questions I said I'd get to that I haven't, and put them either here or better yet, in a new thread so we stop derailing this one with discussions revolving around me (which you've said in the past is a behavior you find annoying :) ) then I will do my best to answer them.


If by "blatant hostility" you mean holding you responsible for your own words then yes, I agree with this.


No.  By blatant hostility I mean singling out posting behavior for censure that I exhibit  that you ignore when displayed by others--and when this is pointed out to you, either refusing to respond or reluctantly administering a praise-filled tap on the wrist to the others--and chiming in with derogatory negativity about me whenever another poster makes positive statements about me.  

Quote from: "Dr Evil"
Asking me to go back and gather up all of the times you have ignored arguments or promised that you would get back to us reminds me of an irresponsible child.  "Daddy, will you do it for me???  Please??"   I would much prefer to treat you like an adult Lisa and encourage you to do it yourself.


Mmm...I hadn't noticed you treating me like a child, Dr. E.  Just like an adult you dislike.  

Quote from: "Dr Evil"
One of the saddest parts of feminism is its obsessions with rights and its turning a blind eye to responsibilities.


Well, I can understand that point of view, as I feel much the same about certain aspects of the men's right movement.

Quote from: "Dr Evil"
You are mirroring that for us Lisa in this request.  I prefer to allow you to clean up your own mess and go back and search yourself.  That is what a mature adult would do don't you think?


A mature adult is, among other things, one who has her priorities straight.  My priorities must be my family and my job and my life overall outside the recreational computer screen.  Because this site lacks any efficient way to search posts (unless there is such a way, that I am unaware of) I would have to go back and reread every single post that had been placed here--I could narrow that down a little by searching out my posts only (which I still beli.eve are over a thousand), but that would entail me missing many posts that were made to me that I never responded to, which I believe are the ones you are most concerned with.  Frankly, I do not have the time to reread literally thousands and thousands of posts.  I simply don't.  If you consider this to be a sign of immaturity, well, then, I'll have to leave you to that belief.  Regretfully, but reality must take first place in life.  

The one thing I probably can do is this:  if you (or anyone else) remembers the issues you most wanted me to address, put them in a separate thread, and I won't post to any other threads till I've gotten through all issues presented in that thread.  I do have the time to do that; that won't be any more time than I spend answering threads right now.  I have no problem addressing issues that are making others uncomfortable because they feel I've left them dangling or unanswered.  If this seems reasonable and mature to you, let's do it.
quot;Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

"Something which we think is impossible now is not impossible in another decade."
-- Constance Baker Motley

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."
--Janis Joplin

lkanneg

Quote from: "IMHO"
Quote
Quote

then she came up against articulate and accurate criticism which she could not refute or deny - only pass off with the usual distracting anecdotes of "well, to counter your claims, I once met a man who...."


Yes, imagine using real life experiences to refute the claims of others. How, er, weird.


Using one exception to "refute" and deny common behaviour is not terribly useful Ikanneg. It's a diversionary tactic which you use all the time.


We have different perceptions of what's "common" behavior and what isn't, IMHO.  When I have multiple experiences that are opposite of what you say is "common behavior," then I consider what you say to be the exception, and what I experience to be common behavior.
quot;Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

"Something which we think is impossible now is not impossible in another decade."
-- Constance Baker Motley

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."
--Janis Joplin

dr e

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No. By blatant hostility I mean singling out posting behavior for censure that I exhibit that you ignore when displayed by others--and when this is pointed out to you, either refusing to respond or reluctantly administering a praise-filled tap on the wrist to the others--and chiming in with derogatory negativity about me whenever another poster makes positive statements about me.


Maybe you didn't see my response?  I thanked you for pointing out that another poster had done the same and I issued an immediate warning to that poster.  You may also not have noticed that that poster took responsibility for his infraction and apologized.  This is what I expect and appreciate from a mature adult.  I have grown not to expect this sort of behavior from a feminist.
Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

dr e

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Mmm...I hadn't noticed you treating me like a child, Dr. E. Just like an adult you dislike.


Let's get this straight.  I don't dislike you Lisa.  I disagree with you and the views you espouse.  I think that you are limited due to the blinders of your beliefs.  

And so it goes.
Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

dr e

Quote
A mature adult is, among other things, one who has her priorities straight. My priorities must be my family and my job and my life overall outside the recreational computer screen. Because this site lacks any efficient way to search posts (unless there is such a way, that I am unaware of) I would have to go back and reread every single post that had been placed here--I could narrow that down a little by searching out my posts only (which I still beli.eve are over a thousand), but that would entail me missing many posts that were made to me that I never responded to, which I believe are the ones you are most concerned with. Frankly, I do not have the time to reread literally thousands and thousands of posts. I simply don't. If you consider this to be a sign of immaturity, well, then, I'll have to leave you to that belief. Regretfully, but reality must take first place in life.


Good for you for having your priorities straight!  Now how about working on taking responsibility for your behavior?

Yes, it would a very big job to go back and find all of the times that you have waffled and not responded and said that you would "research" this or that.  Thank you for making my point. It is a huge job, just as you say.  You have done this over and over.  It will take some effort on your part.



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The one thing I probably can do is this: if you (or anyone else) remembers the issues you most wanted me to address, put them in a separate thread, and I won't post to any other threads till I've gotten through all issues presented in that thread. I do have the time to do that; that won't be any more time than I spend answering threads right now. I have no problem addressing issues that are making others uncomfortable because they feel I've left them dangling or unanswered. If this seems reasonable and mature to you, let's do it.


No.  YOU need to do this.  Not someone else.  I would urge you to play with the search function a bit and notice that you can search by user name AND keyword.  Searching only for lkanneg brings up 227 threads but searching on the username lkanneg AND the word "research" brings up 25 or so.  I look forward to your thread and am very appreciative of your offer to not post on other threads until this is cleared up.
Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

SIAM

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We have different perceptions of what's "common" behavior and what isn't, IMHO. When I have multiple experiences that are opposite of what you say is "common behavior," then I consider what you say to be the exception, and what I experience to be common behavior.


Ikanneg, did you post as "kirsten" on iFeminists? Because you play the same shell game she does.

Roy

Ikkaneg, errr.... ICanEgg...

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We have different perceptions of what's "common" behavior and what isn't, IMHO. When I have multiple experiences that are opposite of what you say is "common behavior," then I consider what you say to be the exception, and what I experience to be common behavior.


I am very much in debt to you IK for answering my initial question --- "Is it possible to have a relationship with a feminist?"

Thank you.

You have indeed proved that it is possible.

Unfortunately, you have also proved that it is futile, painful, and without any redeeming future.  :lol:

Well, except for narcissists or masochists.... or  ????

(My guess is people who like to wear silly hats.....)
It's a terrible thing ... living in fear." (Roy - hunted replicant. "Blade Runner.")

PowerMan72

Dr. Evil wrote:
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If by "blatant hostility" you mean holding you responsible for your own words then yes, I agree with this.

Asking me to go back and gather up all of the times you have ignored arguments or promised that you would get back to us reminds me of an irresponsible child. "Daddy, will you do it for me??? Please??" I would much prefer to treat you like an adult Lisa and encourage you to do it yourself. One of the saddest parts of feminism is its obsessions with rights and its turning a blind eye to responsibilities. You are mirroring that for us Lisa in this request. I prefer to allow you to clean up your own mess and go back and search yourself. That is what a mature adult would do don't you think?

We will all be waiting.



:evillaugh:
I told you Doc, just bar her from posting until she PMs you with her responses.  She'll either give up and leave or we'll get our answers.  Either way, problem solved.
Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan: "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts."

Sir Percy

Yeh, let's just ban anyone who disagrees or argues or ignores questions. Let's just have one single, easy to comprehend Party Line.  How about all posts be simple statements with polls and the ones who go for No 2 or 3 get banned. That should satisfy everyone.
vil, like misery, is Protean, and never greater than when committed in the name of 'right'. To commit evil when they are convinced they are doing 'good', is one of the greatest of pleasures known to a feminist.

PowerMan72

:twisted:

Nice strawman Sir Percy.  Reading comprehension is a wonderful thing.  You should try it.  After all, a mind is a terrible thing to waste . . .
Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan: "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts."

Sir Percy

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After all, a mind is a terrible thing to waste . . .


I have never looked upon my mind as a terrible thing, powerman. It has served me well and is fed by an MSc and its long, continuous and updated aftermath. Wasted it may be, here.
vil, like misery, is Protean, and never greater than when committed in the name of 'right'. To commit evil when they are convinced they are doing 'good', is one of the greatest of pleasures known to a feminist.

CaptDMO

Can You Actually Have a Relationship with a Feminist?
Quote from: "Roy"
I was doing some research about feminism as a social malady when I came across an insightful piece about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Oh yeah, I remember now!
I think Gonz hit on my experiance
Quote from: "Gonzokid"
All the women I know who are self-identified feminists I keep at arm's length. I only have what social interaction or business dealings with them that I must, and I keep it proper, professional, and polite.
The point of "depends what one means by relationship" is obvious to me in this case. I've had very successful and rewarding intamate relationships with feminists, but only those who actually practiced the concept of parity. Quite often these women didn't think of themselves as , and certainly would never proclaim themselves, any paticular flavor of feminist.
Quote from: "devia"
If he meant an inimate relationship then I would say it is impossible to have a deep friendship with anyone whose views are opposed to your own.
I can only hope this was meant as sarcasm, I've found the truism "opposites attract" to work quite well for me in what have turned out to be the longest relationships I've had. It promotes growth for both.
If she was serious I pity the  attitude  toward ego-defensive mediocrity.
Quote from: "sir Percy"
...only to make the point that debate more often than not involves people with opposing views. Politeness is called for at a minimum....
Personally, I make a distinction between politeness that I'm willing to offer toward strangers, and the civility that I try to maintain, with those that have shown their hand, as a matter of form. But the point was made and generally agreed!(perfect gentleman that I also claim to be;)
Quote from: "IMHO"
Ikanneg, did you post as "kirsten" on iFeminists? Because you play the same shell game she does.
Coffee up the nose with that one;) *wipes nose*
As I noted on that defunct board; It is certainly reasonable to address points made by others without defensively responding to their "quips".
I made it clear after several offensive measures made by Brad,Kirsten, and Brian that they would garner no further responses to their bullshit
tantrums from me. By refraining from addressing their existance with spitballs I was able to maintain decorum in my own little world. Perhaps
this measure to address what one may deem endless nonsense, sprinkled with just enough logic to maintain credability, might be considered rather than censorship. Remember, at the very least, there's always that sprinkling of logic!

Now that the case for my own Narcissistic Personality Disorder has been made, this brings the thread back to-
Can You Actually Have a Relationship with a Feminist?

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