I find the most frustrating thing is that often you don't find out that she's a feminist until it's far too late.
I'm in my mid 30's now, and have had 3 serious relationships in my life, and in my experience, the girls are all pretty nice nice and vehemently deny that they are feminists. (As Trish Wilson will attest to if you google this feminists name around the net), however, the problems seem to most significantly arise when you're sweetie lover who'se been an angel for a few years, decides that its time to move on (for me, everytime it's been another guy behind my back - makes me wonder if men should start addressing the passive aggressiveness of women - there's a reason to act coy, you know).
In MY experience, every time that this has happened, all of a sudden the feminist bs has suddenly come out of the closet, and suddenly all of her friends are in full agreement, leaving me, the white oppressive male, as the asshole for society to direct their scorn to. Which, in turn, makes me shut off society, making me more anti social, which in turn, makes me more of what I was accused of in the first place. Am I the problem, or am I the problem of my circumstance?