So in a way, parents who falsely accuse their spouses and convince their children they were molested are really the molester, in a very real way. They created the same trauma in their children as if they had done the molesting in person.
I would have to concur.
There were no "recovered memories" in T's case - only CLAIMS of recovered memories. The mother, very psychologically savvy, led - and the daughter was a willing cohort. She was trained to hate her father at a very young age. T's son struggled against it, but in the end he joined in the accusations, although previously stating his father never did anything to him, all of a sudden, when there was $$$$$$$$$ involved, he changed his story. He did this as a 17 year old.
Anyway, as a former psych patient, in the hospital more than a few times for my own problems, I have to state that this was one of the worst performances (of recovered memory) to which I have ever been privvy (albeit only on paper - I studied in detail and made notations the girl's psych hospital records in preparation for the civil suit which was, sadly, settled out of court). HELL, I knew in the hospital when others were faking and took a lot of SHIT for not buying into the all bull that was flying around the eating disorders unit. Basically, I was shunned by the other patients for it. I never said that I didn't believe most of them, but I suppose my air of complete incredulity shone through my usual dead pan (sarcasm) demeanor. And let me tell you something - the only patients who received any attention at all were the ones who were screaming at night from recovered memories. Some were obviously staged - for attention, and one woman admitted as much to me.
The daughter claimed to have bulimia and claimed to have tried to cut herself and kill herself, although she was quite large (most bulimics are average weight or very slightly above - that's the whole point. Trust me on this one) and had no scars on her body. As opposed to myself - I saw her psych hospital intake chart - you know, where they have to map out what scars she had on her body? There were two, from childhood accidents. In my case, you'd have been hard pressed to find a clear spot on my body chart...LOL
Also, bulimics have enlarged glands (I forget what they are called - the ones right under the chin) and hers were fine. The physician said there were no signs of bulimia as far as the other physical symptoms go. Eroding tooth enamel, esophegeal damage, etc. Most who have bulimics for years and who have thrown up many times a day (as she claimed) have some sort of damage. Electrolyte imbalance, whatever...she had none. And she was quite large as well - most likely because she never threw up. I know I was not here, and I have no proof, but I really really don't believe she was bulimic. And the fact that she changed her story about almost everything every time she told it when it came to the abuse part of her "story" makes me not believe that she ever was an actual bulimic.
BUT - her mother knew (as do most women) that, allegedly, those who suffer from eating disorders are allegedly often times victims of sexual abuse.
What still makes me so upset is this woman, no longer a teen, was ready to go in the courtroom as an adult in her 20s and perpetuate the same lies. She would have been torn apart, trust me. We were sooooooooo ready. We spent literally hundreds of hours in preparation. However, I still feel we may NOT have won and why? The prevailing feminazi hysteria over child abuse. The callous attitude I have even seen here (from a woman -surprise!) that he most likely did something wrong. WHY? Because some kids said he did? Sorry, that's not enough.
I have no desire to see such a sorry and abused (by her MOTHER) person hurt, but she has never once been made to face the man she accused, her very own father, and has never been made accountable for her lies. I hope that somewhere in her, there is the good heart I am sure was there years ago, and that what she did will finally sink in - and, if she and the son do realize the enormity of their crime, I hope they are able to cope and actually grow as people from the resulting pain that any DECENT HUMAN would feel.
That said, they are still deeply loved by their father.
Meanwhile, the evil ex still sends all her bills here. No, we don't have to pay them, but there goes T's credit while he fights them. I have finally convinced T she is NOT DYING OF CANCER. He brings it up now and then, and I tell him the bitch should have been dead by now. Of course, I don't use the word "bitch", but I'd like to. I leave the name calling to T's sister.
And please - don't even try to tell me I have no sympathy for children who were really abused, or for women who were really raped. I have loved ones who actually were raped - it's a horrible thing. But they WERE raped, they didn't just claim to be raped.