What are we about? Here's a start

Started by dr e, Dec 28, 2005, 08:26 PM

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dr e

The following two posts offer beginning summaries of some of our issues and concerns.  The first is a post by Gonzokid which was titled "A Men and Fathers Manifesto" originally posted Sept. 24, 2005.  It speaks for itself.  The second was a piece in the Wall Street Journal "You've Got Male!" published on December 17, 2005.  

If you are new to men's work reading these two articles will give you a beginning to understand some of the issues. You can visit the FAQ to find out more on each of the topics from the two articles.
Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

dr e

From the Wall Street Journal


You've Got Male!
December 17, 2005;
Page A10

Male resentment of the self-righteous and automatic public support
for women's interests and issues has been increasingly on the boil
for some time. Civic celebrations of antipathy to men such as the
Violence Against Women Act are finally generating specific and
pointed responses by men fatigued, if still baffled, by the knee-
jerk assumption that they suffer irredeemably from what I call Male
Original Sin.

At my university as at countless others, one of the very first
official greeting to students is a rape seminar predicated on the
intrinsic danger which males carry with them. And in family courts,
the presumption of male behavioral malefaction has yielded
heartbreakingly numerous cases in which men are charged with
domestic violence to which courts overwhelmingly -- often in brief
hearings in which the male is not even present -- issue
temporary "restraining orders."

These frequently segue into permanence, and award women the dwelling
they've shared, financial support and the all-important privilege of
custody -- mothers gain custody in 66% of uncontested cases and 75%
of contested ones. Less than a quarter of parents are awarded joint

Judges issue such orders based only on the word of the alleged
victim. It is small wonder the overwhelming majority of such actions
are sought and achieved by women. It has been legitimately argued
that there is a merciless post-marital racket of therapists,
lawyers, judges and governmental advocates who prosper because it is
so easy to define males as guilty.

Meanwhile, the publicly financed educational system is at least 20%
better at producing successful female students than male, yet hardly
anyone sees this as remarkable gender discrimination. While there is
a vigorous national program to equalize male and female rates of
success in science and math, there is not a shred of equivalent
attention to the far more central practical impact of the sharp
deficit males face in reading and writing.

There are countless thriving "women's studies" programs and only a
paltry number of male equivalents. The graduates of such programs
(which rarely pass the laxest test for gender diversity) staff the
offices of politicians and judges, and assert the obligation of
society to redress centuries of dominance by that gaseous
overgeneralization -- "patriarchy."

When it comes to health status, the disparity in favor of women is
enhanced by such patterns as seven times more Federal expenditure on
breast cancer than on the prostate variety. And no one is provoked
into action because vaunted male patriarchs commit suicide between
four and 10 times more frequently than oppressed and brainwashed
women. This isn't simply carping about invidious comparison, or
reluctance to support legitimate social responses to the needs of
women as workers, parents, citizens and virtuousi of their private
lives. It is solely about inequity in law, funding and productive
public attention. There is scant acknowledgment of the fact that we
face a generation of young men increasingly failing in a school
system seemingly calibrated to female rhythms.

A consequence is that male income falls and female income rises.
Nothing wrong with that, except that men inexorably withdraw from
domestic life: they become out-laws rather than in-laws. Legions of
women despair of finding a mate compatible in function and vibrancy.
So they go it alone: a third of babies are born to unmarried women,
perhaps making a sage choice given the feckless, demoralized chaps
from whom they must choose. We lead the world in fatherless
families -- 40% of children fall asleep without a resident father
regularly within reach.

Into this acrimonious climate has whispered a breath of spring air
in winter -- an extraordinary document which may have surprising
impact because of its severe countercultural implications and its
almost sweet innocence of purpose. In early November, the New
Hampshire Commission on the Status of Men issued its first report
(www.nh.gov/csm). The commission was proposed in a 1999 bill by N.H.
Rep. David Bickford. The House passed the bill, awarding a budget of
$69,561. But months later, the state Senate stripped away funding.
The commission was finally established in 2002. According to its
report, the Senate's effort to defund it reflects "the inaction of
good people who apparently have been led to believe that legislative
activity designed to primarily benefit men is somehow not
appropriate politically, financially, or otherwise."

To the contrary, the commission's report frontally accepts that
there are intrinsic differences in how men and women cope with
health, education, responsibility and violence. It concludes that
social policies must not begin by denying differences. If you're
running a zoo, know the real nature of your guests. This applies
nationally, not only in New Hampshire. The clout of female voters
has been transmuted into a strangely pervasive inattention to the
legitimate needs of boys and men. While there remain grating sources
of unfairness to women, the community is in the process of steadily
creating a new legal and educational structure which generates new
gender unfairness: 90% of the victims of Ritalin and similar drugs
prescribed for schoolkids are boys; but even drugged they perform
less well than girls. A 2005 study at Yale found nationally that
even in prekindergarten boys are nearly five times more likely to be
expelled than girls.

What is going on in this country?

Of course those who can do the work should receive the rewards.
However, the broader question is: Who defines the work and evaluates
it? The drastic occupational and familial situation of especially
minority males suggests the urgency of a hard review of this issue.
Were females the victims of such apparent sex-based unfairness, the
legal paper attacking the matter would cloud the air like flakes of
New Hampshire snow. But since it's only males . . .
The report is an innovative 44 pages focused on life in one state.
It grips the macrocosm of stunning changes in American sociosexual
and family experience. Like those which affect the terrain of a
delta the changes are gradual and barely perceptible and yet
suddenly it becomes clear there is a new barrier, a new channel, a
new uncertainty. So with the issue of men in America. The New
Hampshire report may not be a full map of the delta but its alerts
us to the large reality of implacable changes. And we may not like

Mr. Tiger, Charles Darwin Professor of Anthropology at Rutgers, is
the author of "The Decline of Males" (St. Martin's, 1999).

Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

dr e

A Men's And Father's Manifesto
by Gonzokid

As I read the salvos firing back and forth in the front lines of the gender war, one thing that strikes me is how the Men's Movement, for all it's passion, has failed to articulate its aims and purposes. It is essential that we do so, not only for ourselves, but to cease giving the misandrists beyond the lace curtain ammunition to attack us with. And attack us they have been, and will continue to do so.

Long have I stated that a movement needs to state what it is about, and what it is against, to be credible as a movement. As you look about now you will find such incoherency in feminism - faced with the man-hating that is their legacy, they do everything to deny them believing it, while still failing to denounce it. This contributes in no small part to the infamy that feminism finds itself saddled with. At the same time by failing to define ourselves, we lose our opportunity to begin putting nails into its coffin.

So be it. Hence, what is presented here is a manifesto of our movement.

It should be stated first that we wish to avoid becoming like feminists, as that would be exchanging one draught of cultural poison for another, but this is insufficient as a statement. Many things about feminism are things to be emulated, not the least of which is its success; and it is undeniably a successful and powerful political movement. But what we wish to avoid are those things which make it a poisonous and successful and powerful political movement.

So let us begin by saying it now: We reject reverse discrimination, and get-evenism, and the perpetual victimhood of feminism. We reject infantilizing men to be dependant on a political system for their success and flourishing. We reject defending those men which are scum among us merely because they are men. Such are the positions of a zealot, ad while embraced by the cult of feminism, they have no place among the company of men, and those women who love men.

It is not necessary to exalt the masculine by diminishing the feminine, as feminism has done in reverse. The ideal masculine archetype is self-sufficient, and needs no external validation from an artificially constructed entity. And when we say that not all women are angels, nor all men demons, it does not follow that we assert the opposite extreme. And it is these extreme positions taken by feminism, which make it a great evil and social cancer.

We reject quibbling terms such as MRA, FRA, masculist, masculinist, and all other labels and niches and classifications the outside would place on us. This is our first statement: As men, we reserve the right to define manhood for ourselves. If this means withdrawing from a society which no longer values us, so be it. If this means searching for the one woman who can make us happy, and living well as our best revenge, so be it. If this involves activism, and rage, so be it. We define ourselves, for ourselves, and be damned anyone who tries to shame us into being men for them. Such people, be they man or woman, are manipulators and unworthy to clean our shoes.

We are men, and this suffices. It was men who crawled from the safety of the caves, who killed the wild animals which made humanity afraid, who brought forth fire to banish the dark, and which have built philosophy, law, civilization, and have plumbed the depths of the sea and the heights of heaven. Our sweat has built cities, and fertilized the fields, and our blood has served as fuel for the engines of freedom and liberty. Res ipsa loquitur. It speaks for itself.

Further, we reject the yammering of the Gender Constructionists. Every serious and objective scientific study further proves the sexual dimorphism of the human species, and it goes hand in hand with our first statement - men have worth of their own right for merely being men. We are unique, and we as men, and especially as fathers, are not fungible, exchangeable, or otherwise replaceable. We are the first best choice for our children.

Second, we find no common cause with that which calls itself feminism. It is rooted in a degenerate and hateful soil, and all fruits from it are fruits from a poisonous tree. Feminism had its chance to be an egalitarian movement, and has blown it; to the rubbish heap of history with it and all other failed philosophies.

As women find value at times with the exclusive company of other women, so do we demand the same right and need for ourselves. Our friendships are deep and abiding, despite the failure of many women to comprehend them; and we need not justify or explain them, or request permission to be "allowed" to have them. They are ours, because they are ours, be they outings, retreats, nights out, locker rooms, clubs, schools, and any countless other places and events. We take them back, and if pissy and hissy feminists want to characterize it as hanging up a "no Girls Allowed" sign, they are cordially invited to hie themselves hence, and take the proverbial long walk off of a short pier. It's a man thing. You wouldn't understand.

We further and metaphorically spit on the misandry which permeates our culture, including the man bashing, anti-male advertising, portrayals of the "Doofus Dad," in the media, rubrics of men as barely civilized Neanderthals, and the host of other hidden and not so hidden messages that make life in the post-feminist world one constant hostile environment for men. Those who carry this message are warned and put on notice - we are not going to take your bullshit any longer, and it has ceased to be funny, amusing, or entertaining in any respect.

We are further weary of the culture which takes advantage of our competitive nature to pit man against man for entertainment or personal gain. We despise that which takes advantage of our natural independence and places us in a position where we must fend for ourselves, among our fellow men, and which encourages us to see our fellow men as enemies rather than brothers. Your zero-sum game is drawing to a close, and we are not playing anymore.

Done as well are the days where men are collateral damage, acceptable losses, and other things which as well make the mortality of men in the realms of health, and work, and war a thing which is abstract and not to be considered seriously. We are not your mules, or tools, and if you do not value us, we will cease to labor for you. Our sweat and suffering builds this civilization and keeps it running, and we are taking our place at the table and you like it or not - and if you do not, go build your own civilization, die in your own workplaces, and clean out your own sewer. Those who have the dirt under their fingernails are the ones most of all entitled to come to the ball.

The time is long past where we will tolerate being treated as expendable, or put into second place, or otherwise treated as second class citizens. Our labor is not a source of wealth to transfer to other concerns. Our sons and brothers are not problem children for acting like boys. As men we have unique needs and concerns, and we will begin addressing them. If you do not grant them equal prominence and footing, we will -and we have - stop caring about yours.

In the family, we reclaim our rightful place as patriarch. It is our joy and right to be the defender of our family, of our progeny, and we will no longer have it denied us by a family law system which is flawed and broken beyond any ability to redeem; and were we to have three wishes right now it would be for every judge, bureaucrat, and social worker who has labored these five decades or more to evict us from our families to be hanging from lampposts, coated in tar and feathers. As stated before, we are the first best choice for our families, and for our children.

We are not mere sperm donors, nor are we commodities to be purchased by any slattern who wishes to daddy shop. If you want to sleep with the hunky loser, be prepared for his minimum wage or unemployed ass to support you.

We call for the rebuttable presumption of joint custody. We make no specious claim - as feminists do - that every man finds himself worthy in the measure, but every man has the right to be subjected to the measure and be weighed objectively, through due process of law. We have a right to be fathers, and more importantly, our children have a right to us as fathers, and to have us with a meaningful voice in their rights ad upbringing. And equal voice, with mommy getting the tiebreaker, is unmitigated hogwash, and transparent semantic masturbation. It is no longer acceptable. We embrace the legal and social equality of women, and wait eagerly for our sisters to finally step up to the plate. In the realm of family and divorce, this means an end to backdoor alimony in the form of crushing and unrealistic, and unaccountable child support orders, designed solely to disenfranchise us and alienate us from our family. Being a parent is work, and being a divorced parent more so. We call to be allowed to be the parent on the home side, and for our ex wives to shoulder their share of the burden on the work side. We are not wallets, walking ATMs, or again, a source of wealth for transfer. We are parents, and have long ago proven our ability to feed a child, and change their diaper, and bandage a skinned knee - we will no longer stand outside the gate and be reduced to the role of workhorse or indentured servant.

Paternity Fraud is a recognized phenomena, and it is morally reprehensible, and inexcusable, and we call for it to be treated as the egregious crime and betrayal that it is. This include jail time, fines, and liability to repay the amount defrauded, plus interest and penalties for emotional damages to both the defrauded man and the child.

We call for a return of fault divorce, and there is no reason that fault and no-fault cannot exist side by side. For those couples who wish to split amicably and can do so, no fault should be an option. By the same token, no one partner in a marriage - male or female - should be allowed to unilaterally break up a family without just case. Adultery is cause. Real and demonstrable abuse is cause. Chronic substance abuse, criminal behavior, or financial malfeasance which jeopardizes a family's future are likewise causes. If such things are provable, there should be a divorce allowed, with penalties for the offender, be they man or woman. But by allowing one person - 70% or more likely to be the female - to merely walk out on a family with no reason, not to mention retaining property and custody, is not only a great injustice, but its effects are cataclysmic to a mature society. Marriage is a serious thing, and to empower hedonistic and whimsical abandoning of it has been the greatest thing contributing to the demise of the family.

For far too long have the family courts been willing accomplices of this destruction of the family unit, all following the design of the foundational feminists to destroy the family unit, and in so doing they have demonstrated a bias and contempt for men involved in divorces, and the time has been long at hand to restore marriage to meaning something, and returning to men a reason to enter into it, by giving them a stake in their family that is theirs only to lose, by objective rule of law, and not at the subjective opinion of a bitter ex-wife.

These things have contributed to the ever-growing phenomena that has been called the "marriage strike," which is a label used for the increasing disillusionment and lack of faith in a system to protect a man's rights and stake in his family. And it is not corrected, count on it growing, until our society and way of life gives way to another which does honor family and fathers. And if you give us no honor, do not count on us to find you a thing worthy of defending when that day comes.

Along with the bias and mistreatment at the hands of the Family court, we are also bone-weary and have had our fill with our treatment by other courts. In the civil arena, sexual harassment has been defined down so much as to be a laughingstock, with and unreasonable woman standard being applied such as to make almost anything able to be named as sexual harassment. To require sexual favors as a quid pro quo for jobs, retention of jobs, or promotion is immoral, and unworthy of any man or woman, and should be treated with the legal derision it merits. It only diminishes the seriousness of such real offenses when the standard of proof is lowered, though, or when merely boorish behavior is defined as sexual harassment; further, it enables overly the overly ambitious and unethical to use such charges as a weapon in office politics, or as a trump to eliminate those whom they dislike or disagree with.

In the criminal courts as well do we have issue; as with most other courts there is a deplorable tendency to treat the feminine with kid gloves, and in so doing to treat the masculine with undue harshness. We are at an end with plea bargains made to spare mothers, while ignoring the plight of fathers. And far from calling for prosecutors to be soft on crime, we say that a criminal is a criminal, and should be treated as such, regardless of sex. It is not justice to take into account race, religion, or sex and hand out lighter or harsher sentences accordingly. There should be an end to sweetheart deals for plea bargains, or prosecutors cynically offering lighter sentences to female defendants to turn them on their accomplices.

There is a great temptation to be sucked in by sob stories and pleas for clemency based on the "motherhood" defense, but one would laugh if the "fatherhood" defense - and rightly so; and the laughter should be extended. It is the parent who chooses to be a criminal who hurts their child, not the police, or the prosecutor, or the jury, or the judge. And it is arguable that any parent - mother or father - who jeopardizes their children's futures by engaging in crime only compound their offense.

Further, we call for a return of due process for men; in matters of rape or assault the standards of evidence have been adjusted down where often a male defendant is considered guilty until proven innocent, not allowed to present evidence in their own defense due to paternalistic and feminist-lobbied rape shield laws, and the mere accusation is considered evidence in and of its own right. To be sure, rape is a terrible crime, but the spate of defendants who have been released after serving sentences of years upon years when it comes out that they were innocent - or that no such crime ever actually took place - is mute evidence that the zeal to prosecute rape has achieved witch hunt levels.

And when allegations are found to be false, several crimes have been committed, not the least of which are "False Informing" and "Perjury." It has become habit to ignore such crimes, or give them a wink and a nod, for fear of creating a "chilling climate" or some other politically correct nonsense phrase. Upon this we resoundingly declare "bullshit." The real chilling climate will come about when men who have been - or who have had brothers, friends, or other acquaintances - falsely accused begin regarding every accusation as a possible lie, and begin refusing to convict. It diminishes real victims when false victims are given a pass, and for that alone - not to mention the gross injustice against those accused - such false accusers should be prosecuted without mercy or forgiveness. And no longer should such things be counted as inadmissible in divorce or custody proceedings, but considered prima facie evidence of unfitness to parent.

What we as men strive for is a society egalitarian under the law for all, male or female. And end to sex based privilege or advantage, not an advantage for men over women, but one which all are invited to be their best - or to fail - on their own merits. And that feminists and their allies will try to label such a thing as misogynistic, and will lobby, work, and stand against it is ample evidence for the thinking person to observe that their true aims and purposes are in stark contrast to their rhetoric, talking points, and propaganda.

We do not operate under the illusion that reform of laws and practices will make for an instantly perfect society. Such things take time to work in hearts and minds, and may even take generations, but what can be achieved now is an end to the legal condoning of such practices.

Take heed, and do not make any mistake - this manifesto is not an invitation for a negotiation. What we want is not onerous, nor is it unreasonable, but have it we will. We men provide the hard labor, the defense of civilization - and if we do not get the respect we deserve, we will labor for and defend it no more. We deserve no less, nor do our brothers, or sons.

Done this 24th Day of September, 2005.

The Gonzman

(Permission is granted to freely copy this in its entirety, and if printed to recoup reasonable costs for reproduction or distribution. Unless, of course, you are a feminist, in which case you owe me $50 per copy in royalties.)

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the MEANEST son-of-a-bitch in the valley.

Contact dr e  Lifeboats for the ladies and children, icy waters for the men.  Women have rights and men have responsibilties.

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