As most people know, there are laws prohibiting abuse of a spouse,
or a child...but did you know that currently, battered MEN take a
back seat?
How can a tiny woman of her stature and her stance abuse you, a six
foot, whatever, MAN? That question is one that curls my toes, and
springs me back to life, even on the most boring and mundane of
days...because that little woman is USUALLY the very one that is
feared...accepted, protected, and regretfully allowed to abuse the
man that was so willing to protect her in the beginning of a
relationship, creating a bond that will be hard to sever no matter
what she does to him in her anger.
Today, in all of society, men are being abused, most are pushed by
society to accept it, not speak of it, sweep it under the proverbial
carpet...some find advocacy, and support groups, and some still are
receiving harsh blows of "reality" from family court, justices, and
judges granting the WOMAN a restraint when it is the man that needs
them. Crying quietly and unseen in rooms locked against these
violent onslaughts, because if they come out of them, they could be
falsely accused, men are the usual suspect when 911 is dialed, men
are arrested on sight.
We implore that you get this out to every person you know...June is
Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month
In June, summer vacation starts for most children in the U.S. and
abroad, statistics on child abuse, tend to spike during this time.
Mother's are the current and prior, main perpetrator of abuse in the
U.S. (According to the Department of Social and Health
Services)..while during this time, there is also a spike in denial
of visitation throughout the land, for the statistic minority, the
non custodial father. There are those out there that say women
appear to abuse more often, because they are the primary
caretaker....hmmmm, wouldn't it make sense then to presume that both
mother and father have equal custody in every state? That would
surely lower those stats on abusive mothers perhaps?
In June, father's day comes and goes, usually with the average
parenting plan giving six to eight weeks in the summer, because mom
is custodial parent, and it is in the best interests of the children
to have stability in their lives...but, what if mom decides she does
not want to share when dad's time comes around? If mom fails to
bring the child to a pick up site or does not answer the door, can
dad call the authorities? No, that is a civil case. What if dad
lives out of state? It is still a civil case. What does dad do
now? He can file for a contempt hearing...although the SOONEST he
can get this heard is two weeks from the date of filing. But
wait....didn't it say that all parties are to use mediation to avoid
congesting the courts, in the parenting plan? Why yes, it did...to
get a mediation hearing, the average wait time is three
months...NINETY DAYS, the whole summer...and what if mom needs an
attorney? They can continue, and continue and continue, until the
school year comes around...and oops, best interests of the child
laws say that Jr. should not be ripped out of his established
routine...sorry dad
In June, an abusive parent's frustration rise, and they are given
free reign to abuse...no school, no teachers to turn it in if they
suspect abuse. Hidden family secrets come out since children are
not able to tell anyone. Children are not going to say anything
about mom tossing dad over a sofa or knocking him into a wall. In
June, the rate of abuse reporting takes a HUGE dip compared to the
amount of abuse taking place. In June, this silent destroyer of
families, is at its peak. In June, when men need us most, no one is
around to hear the cries,they are able to work more due to increased
daylight. Production is high, but abusive women are still home,
feeling the burden of their conscience, the burden of single
parenting during the day, and reflexively are abusing men more and
more and more along with their children.
Please make June Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month
Tami Pepperman
Ken Deemer Director Shattered Men
