I never never never went after the hot guy. To be fair, I didn't think I was pretty enough to be in the running, but that wasn't the only reason. I always prefered down-to-earth people to whom I could relate, and really hot persons of either sex tend to be self-absorbed. This is not always the case, but in my experience, it was usually the case.
Hold on - because you're going to see where I was, in one case, very wrong.
More than a few women my age who have met T are downright jealous of what I have based on what I've told them and/or what they've seen. T is a very handsome man. He is almost 60 and I am going to be 51, btw. We are both in good physical shape for any age, not just our own. We both would like to lose five pounds because we'd both rather be slender than average, but it's not critical.
A few weeks ago, his sister mailed him some photos of himself when he was young. His ex had stolen all his personal memorabilia when he was in prison awaiting release on bail, so I had never seen any before.
I saw one of the most drop-dead gorgeous young men ever - hands down. The young blond man took my breath away. An adonis. Truly. I just sat and stared at them for about a half hour.
I finally told him, "It's a good thing we met when we did - I would have been too afraid to even talk to you."
Now I know the false accusations have taken their toll - he's always been modest, according to his sister, but never as self-denigrating as he is now. It's the only time I ever asked his sister about his past - I have a policy where I do not discuss anything that goes on between us other than in generalities or here, where I'm anonymous, but I was in so much pain, not knowing how to help him and I was angry at his ex because I believed she was the source of his low self-worth and his sister said, "no, he wasn't always this way. He was modest but not lacking in self-esteem."
Anyway, he said he's never been good looking and that made me fight back tears, because he feels so badly about himself that he can't see the good anymore - an extremely painful result of being falsely accused is the damage it can do to one's psyche and opinion of oneself even when one realizes that none of what was alleged was true, one may begin to question one's worth, as well as scrutinize every little mistep ever taken - but I digress.
I have myself a treasure, despite the hard times which are usually external in nature as well as fighting personal demons on his part - and he IS very good looking, and WAS breathtaking when he was younger.
Can't always judge a book etc., etc.
