Women having difficulty finding men?

[typhonblue]

Ilk,

A woman's ability to attract and keep a mate depends entirely on her willingness to compromise, not her looks.

[lkanneg]

Ilk,

A woman's ability to attract and keep a mate depends entirely on her willingness to compromise, not her looks.

I agree that her ability to keep a mate depends strongly upon her willingness to compromise.  I disagree that her ability to initially attract one strongly does.

[Factory]

Ilk,

A woman's ability to attract and keep a mate depends entirely on her willingness to compromise, not her looks.

I agree that her ability to keep a mate depends strongly upon her willingness to compromise.  I disagree that her ability to initially attract one strongly does.

Hell no...she has to be hot.  Or fun.  Or interesting.  Or sexy.

Just like a guy does.

This is one area where NEITHER sex has the moral high ground, as we ALL, every last stinking one of us, base our initial attraction on something we universally deride as "shallow".  Every.  Single.  One.  Of.  Us.

And to that I say....so what?

What's the big friggin deal here?  It's not like it's news to anyone at all.  It's like trying to "convince" a woman to be attracted to us....it just WON'T happen.

Like the old sales adage goes...you can't push a rope.

[typhonblue]

Ilk,

A woman's ability to attract and keep a mate depends entirely on her willingness to compromise, not her looks.

I agree that her ability to keep a mate depends strongly upon her willingness to compromise.  I disagree that her ability to initially attract one strongly does.

Do you think men just bang their heads on "perfect 10s" for eternity? Seriously, is that your view of the dating world?

All men ever do is ask out perfect 10s, they never even bother with anything less? That makes, what, 5% of women datable? So the men just wait till one of those 5% gets divorced or drops her boyfriend to get their turn?

A "perfect ten" may have more options, but that doesn't mean any woman who is less attractive doesn't have more options then a *man* who is equally as attractive.

[Factory]

Ilk,

A woman's ability to attract and keep a mate depends entirely on her willingness to compromise, not her looks.

I agree that her ability to keep a mate depends strongly upon her willingness to compromise.  I disagree that her ability to initially attract one strongly does.

Do you think men just bang their heads on "perfect 10s" for eternity? Seriously, is that your view of the dating world?

All men ever do is ask out perfect 10s, they never even bother with anything less? That makes, what, 5% of women datable? So the men just wait till one of those 5% gets divorced or drops her boyfriend to get their turn?

A "perfect ten" may have more options, but that doesn't mean any woman who is less attractive doesn't have more options then a *man* who is equally as attractive.

Sure they do typhon....one easily identifiable limiting factor is humility.  A good looking woman who feels that she is nothing special will still get hit on constantly, although she may not notice or put 2+2 together.

A similarly good-looking man with the same feelings of self-worth will remain single for much longer, since it is usually up to him to do the chasing (as it were).  The way men & women meet dictate that the man HAS to have a sense of self worth great enough to make him comfortable with approaching women - since even these days it is rare for a woman to approach a man.

Simple logic really.  But no, good looking women have it easier in the dating game.  Of course, by and large these same women who have been approached all thier lives and rebuffed tons of men in thier youths also tend to be the ones crying about "no good men out there" when they get older.  Looks fade, and if that's all you've got, you're essentially screwed once you hit "a certain age".  That's where life takes back the credit issued these fine young things.

[the sad geek]

I've always had the impression that the attractiveness curve for women is much flatter than for men. You've got to be really ugly as a woman to be unattractive. With men it seems to be more of a logarithmic scale.

[Factory]

I've always had the impression that the attractiveness curve for women is much flatter than for men. You've got to be really ugly to be unattractive. With men it seems to be more of a logarithmic scale.

Not even close to true.  Women place far less importance on looks or money than most men give them credit for.  Sure, there's a certain level that has to be met in those cases, but it's not even close to the top tier.

Just like men in that regard.

Men get away with looking FAR more disheveled and sloppy than women do.  That's not because women don't care (any less than men), but because there's so many of us slovenly men not plucking our nose hairs that women are left with little choice  (  ).

Try being funny, take an active notice of the people around you....connect on thier level.  Oh, and make no bones about the fact that you like sex.  A lot.  Don't apologize for it, be proud of it...it helps define you as a sexual being.

Then, stop giving a shit if women "approve".

You'll get laid....lots.  Trust me.

[Factory]

This whole thread brings up an interesting observation for me.  namely, that BOTH men and women feel some sort of need to take the "moral high ground" in relationships and attraction.  I don't know how to expound on this much in the vein of the "Who is more shallow, the tittie chaser or the wallet chaser" schools of thought.

It's sex people.  Biological urge to reproduce with the best specimen available.

And ALL, and I do mean all, of the people yakking it up about this are deeply unsatisfied with some aspect of thier sex life (Ok, that was a trick, because we are NEVER completely satisfied with our current sex partner).

It smacks of blame shifting to me.  Pure and simple.

[Sir Percy]

malakas:

The moral thing is a bit more tricky. Morals are just rules that are generally ascribed to by most people in a group - they are not absolute

Ohh. Some hold to a view that there are moral absolutes.

[Galt]

All men ever do is ask out perfect 10s, they never even bother with anything less? That makes, what, 5% of women datable?

It would be 10% of the women if you assume an even distribution over the numerical categories.

C'mon, Typhonblue, get with the program.

[typhonblue]

All men ever do is ask out perfect 10s, they never even bother with anything less? That makes, what, 5% of women datable?

It would be 10% of the women if you assume an even distribution over the numerical categories.

C'mon, Typhonblue, get with the program.

I was assuming more of a bell-curve distribution with plain janes in the middle, pretty girls one standard deviation from the middle and hot two. Which would probably put hot chicks at about 2.5% of the population.

And welfare moms at about 2.5% as well.

BTW, I have personal experience with women and their desires for attractiveness in a mate. It is not that different then a mans. Women much, much, much prefer tall, handsome men with a full head of hair then any other man. If all men had the same amount of wealth, that would be what they would look for exclusively. But some women will compromise on their attractiveness requirements *if* they get wealth up front (by up front I mean the man already has it.)

[contrarymary]

All men ever do is ask out perfect 10s, they never even bother with anything less? That makes, what, 5% of women datable?

It would be 10% of the women if you assume an even distribution over the numerical categories.

C'mon, Typhonblue, get with the program.

I was assuming more of a bell-curve distribution with plain janes in the middle, pretty girls one standard deviation from the middle and hot two. Which would probably put hot chicks at about 2.5% of the population.

BTW, I have personal experience with women and their desires for attractiveness in a mate. It is not that different then a mans. Women much, much, much prefer tall, handsome men with a full head of hair then any other man. If all men had the same amount of wealth, that would be what they would look for exclusively. But some women will compromise on their attractiveness requirements *if* they get wealth up front (by up front I mean the man already has it.)

Well, since most men are tall to me, I really can't comment.  

[the sad geek]

Typhon, for your reading pleasure:

http://issues.families.com/mate-selection-1113-1118-iemf

http://human-nature.com/ep/articles/ep01116126.html

[Factory]

I'm 5 foot 6 or 7...and I can tell you first hand that even after women "settle" for a shorter guy, they still pine for the tall musular guy.  Hell, I still want whatever body type I'm not with at the moment.

Difference is (if any), I don't make it an issue with the girl that I'm with, whereas she usually does.

Not that I'm complaining.  Makes for more variety.

[lkanneg]

Do you think men just bang their heads on "perfect 10s" for eternity? Seriously, is that your view of the dating world?

All men ever do is ask out perfect 10s, they never even bother with anything less? That makes, what, 5% of women datable? So the men just wait till one of those 5% gets divorced or drops her boyfriend to get their turn?

Of course not.  What it is, is a man's willingness to compromise (on his standards) is what initially attracts him to a woman who is well below the perfect 10 score.   Most men end up having to do this, of course, as obviously most women are not perfect 10s.  Or 9s.  Or 8s.  You start seeing population increases starting in the 7s.  (Naturally all this is my own extremely subjective and unscientifically verifiable opinion.)

A "perfect ten" may have more options, but that doesn't mean any woman who is less attractive doesn't have more options then a *man* who is equally as attractive.

A woman who is less attractive has more options than a man of the same attractiveness when it comes to getting laid for free, I'll agree with that.