Please take this survey on "sleep rape"

Started by Men's Rights Activist, Apr 02, 2006, 08:27 AM

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Men's Rights Activist

This Colorado newspaper now has a survey about the having sex with a sleeping wife.  Notice how there is no mention of wives having sex with sleeping husbands.  Yea, no media bigotry there.
http://www.local6.com/news/8360252/detail.html

Quote
Do you think it is sexual assault if a man has sex with his sleeping wife?
Yes, but only if he has been told she doesn't want him to do that.
Yes, she needs to be awake and consent every time.
No, she's his wife which implies consent.
Life, Liberty, & Pursuit of Happiness are fundamental rights for all (including males), & not contingent on gender feminist approval or denial. Consider my "Independence" from all tyrannical gender feminist ideology "Declared" - Here & Now!

zarby

It won't happen to me?
This is what most men most be saying the themselves.

Well, that is what most men said about divorce and DV allegations also.
At least half of men have experienced divorce and many DV allegations.

This is a cancer. They are going for the final kill. If a man cannot even make an advance at his own wife who voluntarily climbed into bed with him and probably wearing little to no clothes whether she is a awake or asleep, then something is really, really wrong. Men reduced to begging for sex from their own wives? Or, obtaining signed consent forms? Probably, not. More likely, they will live at constant risk of accusation. When the wife goes off into a tirade, it will be worse than just a DV accusation it will not be felony rape that is alleged. Scary world.

VK

I think it's missing the obvious answer. Yes, unless she has at some point given consent to being woken up with sex at some point in the relationship.

With doubly wrong if she has specifically mentioned she doesn't like being woken up like that.

Ditto for her waking him up like that.

CaptDMO

Absolutely NOT.
Unless an able person makes a specific intent clear before the fact there is no rape.
There's no kinda-sorta. There's no "But that's not what I meant". There is no
non-pay/non-cuddle/day/week/month/ year later remorse. There are no "discovered by hypnosis" repressed memories.
In my world a marriage ceremony  implies ongoing consent for procreation.

Sure,  any woman that cares to may make her intent known to
refuse immidiate, or future sexual relations. This would, of course, immediately ANNUL outright
ALL other implied provisions of the union.

Sorry honey, I just didn't FEEL like generating resources today to maintain
the "lifestyle" you've NOW become accustomed to.

And NO, there's no "well what about someone who crosses the international dateline and becomes kidnapped by terrorists,, subjecting them to the Stockhlom...blah..blah..blah......crap. Please don't waste my time with ANY crap along those lines.

"But I have a lawer!" is certainly an acceptable consideration for every god damned petty non-issue buried with passive/aggressive revenge by proxy, when it's clearly understood that I chose to bury the real threats to my life with other means.

Of course, I'm always willing to entertain other opinions, but I certainly couldn't be bothered by much that the State cares to try to impose.

Malakas

Come on, Come on? There are only two answers to this question.
1. You are a senscient being of the species 'Homo Sapiens"
or
2. You live in Disneyland.

End of story. :wink:
'm an asylum seeker. Don't send me back.

Stallywood

Quote from: "Men's Rights Activist"
This Colorado newspaper now has a survey about the having sex with a sleeping wife.  Notice how there is no mention of wives having sex with sleeping husbands.  Yea, no media bigotry there.
http://www.local6.com/news/8360252/detail.html

Quote
Do you think it is sexual assault if a man has sex with his sleeping wife?
Yes, but only if he has been told she doesn't want him to do that.
Yes, she needs to be awake and consent every time.
No, she's his wife which implies consent.


Because if a woman wakes a man up with oral sex, the conventional wisdom is that your a lucky man. Most men think this way, and most women should probably think the opposite is a good thing also...Unless she has told her SO she doesnt like it. I know my ex didnt mind.....as long as it was an every once in a while event.
Stally
Gentleman is a man who consciously serves women. I prefer the golden rule.

Behind every great man, is a
parasite.

Women who say men won't commit, usually aren't worth committing to.

johnnyp

My 2 cents:

1) There is an implied consent if you are in an a sexual relationship, and the woman voluntarily is sleeping in bed with you (basic commons sense).

2) If the woman has stated that she does not like sexual activity when she is sleeping, and the man does sexual thing while she is sleeping he is treading on thin ice.
 woman needs a man like a fish needs water

woof

Hopefully we are talking about foreplay here...... :? ....I mean otherwise it would be like having sex with a corpse!(is there really anyone who could sleep through this).......so trying to get your spouse "interested" is rape?
This may or may not be a violation of one anothers trust, it would just depend on what kind of bounderies that have been established in the relationship.
Even a whole village can't replace dad, children need both parents.

johnnyp

Quote from: "woof"
it would be like having sex with a corpse!(is there really anyone who could sleep through this).......


It is odd, but is it a crime?

Like I said in an earlier post - a girlfriend of mine like to play with me when I was asleep.  If I told her to stop and then caught her doing it again, should I call the police?  Should I just stop dating her (remove the implied consent)?

If the guy's girl friend / wife clearly said no, and then he continued to play at night, then it is clearly rude.  

I am still unsure how much courts can or should get involved in situations like this unless there is VERY clear-cut evidence of force.  Courts routinely set limits on what they will consider as evidence and how deep they will be dragged into analysis of murky evidence.  The legal system has its limits, and from what I have seen, this case is likely beyond those limits.
 woman needs a man like a fish needs water

VK

Quote from: "woof"
Hopefully we are talking about foreplay here...... :? ....I mean otherwise it would be like having sex with a corpse!(is there really anyone who could sleep through this).......so trying to get your spouse "interested" is rape?


I know women who enjoy being woken up with penetration. I know quite a lot of guys who enjoy being woken up with sex/oral sex. I also know rape victims of both sexes who would freak out utterly and get very upset if they woke up in that situation.

As to the sleeping through it I know one unfortunate lady who discovered her husband was having sex with her in the night, while she had been taking sleeping pills. She found this very upsetting - that he would decide to have sex with her, knowing she couldn't feel it, couldn't enjoy it etc. Eventually broke up the relationship, as he couldn't understand why she minded if she couldn't feel it!

Obviously the polite thing to do is ask first. But if you say no, and they do it anyway, then (depending on what exactly they do) I think you should call the police and give a statement.
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